Ten Things I Hate About You
by pluushie
Summary: Preordained to be trapped in the worst possible circumstances, I'm virtually a failure ninja, but still I am stuck with the hardest, most ridiculous job I've ever heard of. Guarding the village traitor. /DeidaraxOC/
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own Naruto._

_-- Author's notes --_

_Hello all! This story is a little bit of an experiment. Tell me which you like more, this one, or Flower. And I wasn't sure what the Kage of Iwa was called, so I went of Google and Tsuchikage was all I found._

_--Chapter 1: In which there is the Mission of the month--_

It was Saturday morning and I woke up that day feeling rather well-rested. It isn't often that I sleep that well, not even on the holidays. It's most likely because lately I've been getting lots of headaches that kept me up all night long because of my high blood pressure issue. In other words, I'm completely stressed out. Being stressed out is unhealthy and I should probably just calm down and smell the roses, but I hate roses a lot so I never really followed through with that tag line.

So yes, I woke up this morning and I did what I did every day. One thing about me is that every single day is planned out and activities are measured in units. Units do not represent hours, because hours are much too overwhelming for me and I'm stressed out enough, so units merely represent half an hour or, thirty minutes.

Brushing teeth; one unit, getting ready for the day; one unit, eating breakfast; two units. My list goes on like that, and some activities are longer than the others, but all in all, my days are full and busy, simply no time for anything else. I am a ninja, but only because my parents insisted on it and will not let me quit.

I'm nineteen, and still my parents insist that I cannot make my own decisions and think for myself. I did not want to be a ninja; I wanted to be a dentist. Why? I have very good oral hygiene. I haven't had a cavity once. That's nineteen years! And that's pretty impressing, unless you think it's strange to have shiny teeth.

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes, letting them adjust to the blinding light that flooded through my window. Damn the blasted sun, blinding me as I'm just getting up. My head throbbed in pain. Stupid migraine. That's the last thing I need. Maybe I should go steal some painkillers so that I can have a good day. Well, maybe there's more for me in the future. Maybe today something good will happen.

I had a good sleep last night, maybe it's some sort of epiphany saying "Guess what? You're going to have a great day". I don't know. But if it did, I'd be very pleased and walk through the village with a jump in my step, a smile on my face, and a migraine. That'd just be lovely, now wouldn't it? I sighed and finally got out of bed, my eyes still slightly closed. I wanted to return to my cocoon of warmth and fall asleep once more, but that's mess with my daily routine, and I don't want to do that. It's against my policy.

And so, I got up, my room spotless other then my messy bed. My walls were just a plain green color, and the floors were a white carpet that massaged your feet whenever you took a new step forward, or backward. My furniture was only a wardrobe, a side table, and a twin sized bed. All of this was the same light wood.

Of course I had a closet, and finally I had a pale yellow lamp with peeling paint. I never had the time to get a new one. I walked on the soft carpet, slightly disappointed when I stepped out of my room into the hardwood floor in the hallway. The hallway had pictures of my family, my mom, dad, and I, hanging all over the walls. And, there was a small table with a flower vase on it.

I just walked into the washroom, my eyes closed. I had remembered the layout of my own home, for I've been doing the same thing every day for the past sixteen years. I was too young when I was three, two, and one to know any better than to sleep, cry, and eat. Well anyway, I walked into the washroom, the cool tile meeting my feet. I looked into the mirror to see my light brown hair which is always mistaken for blonde.

My skin was pale, and if I stayed into the sun too long without sunscreen I turn into a tomato. And, I saw the same, boring chestnut eyes that I saw every day. And, I'm getting bored with my look. Perhaps a haircut? No, I'm used to my hair being like this – nice and long. I can fix it into many different (odd) styles when I have nothing to do and I can put it in braids without the smaller ends sticking out.

I parted my bangs so that they were off to the side, framing my face and tickling my cheeks. I hate my hair. It's always boring and straight. And then on top of it, it's always getting tangled every ten minutes. I decided that I'd just wear my hair in a ponytail. I lazily put my hair in a pony tail with a plain elastic band and then turned the sink on, splashing cold water onto my face. Almost immediately I woke up, and I wiped my face dry with a towel.

After my face was dry and clean, I got my toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste out of the nearly empty tube. I brushed at my teeth thoroughly, as though I was about to see a dentist of go on a date, which, by the way, I've never gone on before.

Once I thought my teeth were completely clean, I spat out whatever was in my mouth and rinsed my mouth out, also washing my toothbrush. Then, I gurgled some mouthwash, spat it out, and went back to my room to get ready for whatever the day had in store for me.

I opened my closet and pulled out blue khaki pants that could be pulled to your knees and a plain white t-shirt. I looked as though I was just going to lounge around the house all day once I had put my clothes on. But that wasn't the case; I was going to lounge around the _village _the whole day. That is, after I eat my breakfast of frosted flakes cereal, like I do every morning. Then, I pulled on some runners and then began to make my way downstairs into the kitchen after fixing my bed to its normal tidiness.

The smell of coffee wafted from the kitchen as I walked down the stairs, and I knew that my parents were up, ready to ask me the same thing they always did. Sure enough, my father was sitting at the table reading the paper and my mother was pouring coffee for herself. I bided them both good morning and got my frosted flakes, bowl, milk and spoon and sat down at the table across from my father, and I began to eat my breakfast quietly like every good little daughter should.

"So, do you have a mission today?" my father asked, or rather, grunted. He turned the page of the newspaper. My father had light brown hair that was always astray and green eyes. I rolled my eyes. Told you he was going to ask that. Well, my answer came out slurred, like I was drunk. Why? Because I've said it so many times before.

"Not today dad." I mumbled, resuming eating my breakfast. It's not like I want a mission anyway. I hate being a ninja. Who wants to go around killing people and getting scrolls and stuff all day? Well, not me. I'm far too lazy and cowardly. My mother sat at the table with us. My mother was an utter beauty queen, and that sucks for me because I don't care about how I look as long as I'm comfortable.

"Good morning Kaori." said her mother with a smile. I flinched. I hate my name. It's so feminine and I really don't like it. I'm ashamed to be called "Kaori". I just smiled at her.

My cereal is getting runny. I hate it when my cereal's runny. So I quickly ate the last bites of frosted flakes, said good bye to my parents, and disappeared out the door. Once I was outside of the house, I looked around. I was currently living in Iwakagure. It's not all that bad. I like it.

I walked through the bustling streets and tried to make my way to the library. The library was where I spent or wasted most of my time. I enjoy reading up on history. I arm myself with knowledge just in case I need it in the future. Who knows? Perhaps one day I'll be trapped with some crazy serial killer, but at least I'll know all their skills. Another fact about me is that once I read something, I memorize it.

Once I was in the library, I said hello to the librarian. I went right away to the history section and then tapped my chin, talking to myself quietly as I tried to decide what I wanted to read. Finally, I came across a book that I haven't read yet. _Akatsuki. _Well, everyone knows that Akatsuki. They're an s-ranked criminal group of missing ninjas, but I'd like to know more about the members individually, like I said, just in case.

I plucked the book off the shelf and headed to the table and plopped myself into the chair I always sat at. I opened the book, and the first person I saw was named Uchiha Itachi. He' from Konoha, he's one of the last two Uchihas and he's the murderer of the whole clan that he massacred a couple of years ago when his younger brother was eight. Wow that's pretty dry. Some older brother he must be.

I turned the page and saw Suna no Sasori. Master of puppets and the genius that designed all of the battle puppets that are used today in Suna. Well, that's a little tense. He's also made himself a living puppet and he uses the most lethal poisons known to man in his weapons. Finally, I turned the page again. Deidara of Iwagakure. He's from Iwa? Apparently, he is a specialist with bombs and explosives, and uses clay and bombs for weapons.

"Kaori-san?" said a voice. I yelped and jumped up, looking over my shoulder at the speaker that had startled me. I fixed my posture. It was an ANBU.

"Yes?" I asked. The ANBU bowed his or her head.

"Tsuchikage-sama wishes to see you." he or she said once more. I nodded. I wonder if they're finally going to strip me of being a ninja. I'm totally useless, so I wouldn't blame them if they did. It's not like I go on missions or save people. I haven't been on a mission in a couple of months.

I followed the ANBU to the Tsuchikage building, inwardly practicing my reaction. I'll act as though it's the end of the world, and act disappointed, and then once I'm a good distance away, I'll celebrate and jump for joy. That's the plan. Finally, we reached the office, and the ANBU allowed me to step inside. I remained expressionless as I bowed my head to our Kage. He nodded.

"I have a mission for you. In our prison, you are going to guard an Akatsuki member. It is not hard, but he is your responsibility. Make sure he does not escape. You will watch him for a month, and try to ask questions. All of our specialists on this are currently on long term missions, so it's your responsibility to do it for them. After the month is over, he will be hanged." he said. I blinked. _A mission!_

"May I ask who it is?" I asked. The Kage nodded once more.

"It is Deidara, a former ANBU from Iwagakure." said the Tsuchikage. I tried not to laugh. I had just been reading about this Deidara and now I get to meet him?

"Okay. When do I start?" I asked.

"Right now. Make sure that you have all your supplies. Here are the keys," he said, throwing me the keys, "You are now dismissed."

I bowed my head and began to walk home to get my supplies. I hadn't used my supplies in years. But really, a mission? When was the last time I've been on a mission? I don't even remember. It must have been forever. And I really didn't want to watch this Deidara person. I doubt that I'll be able to watch him as well. I'll probably be dead by the end of the day.

Once I reached my house, I fumbled with my keys, but eventually found the one that opened the door to my house. Once the door was open, I stepped and inside and climbed the steps that lead upstairs. I walked into my tidy room and opened my closet, pulling out a box. Inside the box were my forehead protector, kunai pouches, and my sword. Do I even remember how to wield it?

I shrugged the thought away and fastened the forehead protector around my forehead, but leaving my side bangs alone. Then, I fixed the two kunai pouches; one around my leg and one around my waist. Once I was done, I took the sword and tied the scabbard around my waist. Once I was ready, I headed toward the prison, ready to start my first mission in a long time.

-x-x-x-

I stood in front of the heavy, large, strong metal door that lead to the prison, where the prisoners were kept. There were ANBU here, but they watched the minor criminals and they watch the office as well. I'm the one that's just guarding the one missing-nin. Well, he probably isn't all that great of a shinobi since they're having me look after him. Maybe all the Jounins and ANBU were busy. So they had a little whelp like me watch him.

It isn't that hard, really. All I do is make sure he doesn't escape. He has handcuffs, he's blindfolded, and he's sitting in a chair. That's all I've been told by my friend, who is an ANBU and has watched an Akatsuki member named Hidan before.

I opened the door, having to use both hands since the door was so heavy, and walked inside. The first thing I noticed was that it smelled like a hospital. The lights were fluorescent and bright, and the walls and floors were all white. It made me feel like I was in a dentist office. My vision of being a dentist slowly faded away, and I shook my head wildly and continued my way.

I knew that all I had to do was look for the door that said, "S-Rank" on it. That's where they keep the s-ranked criminals, and they're always watched individually. I don't know why they get so much attention, but it's probably because everyone knows that they might get their asses kicked if they try to fight.

I used the keys to open the door. I peeked inside, and sure enough there was a boy sitting in the chair, with a blindfold on and his hands handcuffed behind his back. I raised an eyebrow. Who's this little twerp? This is Deidara? The s-ranked criminal that we're all so scared of? Yeah right. Why weren't there pictures of him in that book? That way I would've been prepared for this. But really, this little whelp is the one that blows people up all day? I can't believe it. Once again- no wonder they had me watch him.

I plopped myself in the chair in front of him, getting bored already. I had to say something, start some sort of conversation, "You're Deidara?"

What a stupid question. What the hell of course it's Deidara! Who else would it be? Well it was too late to take back my words, and the boy replied, "Well obviously I'm Deidara. Obviously you aren't very bright, yeah." he said with a snort. I glared. I hate this guy. He's a smartass. But, his voice is so deep. So I guess he's not a kid. He's definitely older than me.

"Well you obviously aren't bright either, for you dared to show your face around the village you betrayed." I said with a glare. I knew he couldn't see it, but I was hoping that it burned through the blindfold he was wearing. He smirked.

"They caught me off guard after I had finished a mission just outside of here, yeah. They got lucky, I had no clay." he said, his voice had a strange tone to it. His voice was so malicious.

I glared. I really did not like this guy, "And you couldn't do hand to hand combat?"

Deidara just smirked once more, "I just said that I was on a mission, yeah. I was tired."

I snorted, resisting the urge to tell him that he was pathetic and should be ashamed to be in the position he is in. He's the underdog. I was in a position of power and he dares to argue back? Well then again, if he ever broke out of those chains and really is the s-ranked missing nin that everyone knew him as, then I was good as dead. I would be screwed, so I guess I'll just have to sit here for now, just let him sit there looking like an idiot.

How can he be in such a vulnerable position and then sit there like he doesn't care? It's almost as though he thinks he'll live. He's going to die after this month. I almost felt a little sorry for him.

This was going to be the longest month of my life.

_-- Author's notes --_

_Well, that's the first chapter. If you think that you like this story over Flower, please inform me and Flower will be deleted. R&R if you like._


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own Naruto, nor will I ever own the wonderful anime. But please do enjoy my story._

_-- Author's Notes --_

_This is the second chapter… please do easy on me. I know it isn't all that great of a story, but I don't want to get into the habit of deleting so many things. So here I go… And, don't mind the, "In Which" in my chapter titles... I know it's from SpiderWick... and I like it. I'm using it only because I like to feel intelligent. :)_

_--Chapter 2: In which Kaori thinks of irrelevant details--_

An obscure, white clock ticked away on the wall. Normally, a person as ignorant as me wouldn't pay attention to such inconspicuous details, but today, I'm so bored that I'd do anything just to keep myself occupied. It's strange that I'd do this much just to keep myself entertained, but it's not like anyone's going to care or notice. And even if anyone did care, it's not like I'm going to stop staring at the little white clock.

Why should I let anyone tell me what to do? I'm not that type of girl. However, I am the type of girl that will get bored very easily, and will strive to keep herself as entertained as possible. And to keep myself entertained, I'm staring at the little white clock that was on the wall behind Deidara; the wall that I was facing. It ticked slowly, as though taunting me with its slowness.

_Tick… Tick…_ it continued to tick on and on. The clock ticked, keeping in perfect time. I was intrigued by the soft ticking that tickled my ears, but after time it seemed to get louder and louder, and suddenly I felt my head throb painfully as the white wall clock ticked and ticked, the simple sound suddenly transforming to loud crashing of thunder. Slowly I felt myself getting nauseous, and it was suddenly painful to blink.

The clock simply continued to tick away, ignoring my suffering. My head was throbbing, the world around me was spinning. My sanity was slowly slipping through the gaps in between my fingers and I leaned forward, rubbing my temples as I tried to push the stupid migraine away. It only became even more of a nuisance as suddenly I could no longer keep my eyes opened.

I closed my eyes tight, the pain in my head impossible to ignore as I fumbled through the holster on my leg clumsily, searching for the compartment in which held my medication which would surely help me escape from this awful predicament. Finally, I had managed to pull out a small, plastic cylinder shaped container which held my pills within it's transparent, slightly tinted walls.

It was filled with blue and red striped pills that rattled against the insides of the container as I made a struggling effort to open the container, my head still continuing to throb painfully as I did so. Finally, I managed to open the lid and shake out two pills. I greedily popped them into my mouth and swallowed them both down forcefully, my throat in pain but I didn't care.

I heaved a heavy sigh as I relaxed, the medicine already taking its effect, for the throbbing migraine that I had just a minute ago was slowly subsiding. I leaned back in my seat. This wasn't turning out to be a very good start at all. I decided that I was once again bored, and decided to continue in the activity that I had been doing before my migraine had interfered, which just happened to be staring at the clock and memorizing all of it's most intricate features.

So, I gazed at the clock as though it was the first time I had seen one in my life. In other words, I looked slightly retarded, but it wasn't like anyone was watching me in my current stupor.

Suddenly I decided that it was not as interesting enough to keep me entertained and moved onto a new article to study and memorize by heart. I leaned back in my chair, looking up at the ceiling. I stared at the bright lights that hung from the ceiling above, the fluorescent light that illuminated from the them nearly blinding, though I managed to count about four hanging.

Suddenly, I sat upright, looking down at the tiles that covered the floor. The tiles were so close together, that at first glance anyone would think that it were just a plain white floor, all the while never knowing that it was actually tile. However, being as bored as I was I didn't miss a single detail of anything that I saw. I even managed to catch a little crack on the tile that my left foot rested upon. I finally looked up at Deidara, deciding this was my chance to examine him thoroughly.

I stared at him with great intensity and concentration, making sure to catch everything. His chest would rise up and down slowly as he took deep breaths. On his cloak – from what I can see – there are about six clouds in which I can see. They were a dark, crimson red and outlined with white, and then the rest of the cloak was black as the night sky. The neckband was high, although it was unbuttoned so that his face was visible.

His hair was blond and long, with a single half ponytail sticking from the top of his head, or, was just really high. His skin was light, and his toe nail polish was a dark purple, which I found as a strange choice of colour. And, finally, my eyes traveled toward his forehead, and I saw his forehead protector. Sure enough, it was the exact same one I had, only there was a finely cut line going through the middle of the Iwa symbol. I flinched slightly as I imagined how it got there.

I allowed my eyes to trail downward, toward his face. I studied Deidara's facial features carefully, memorizing every detail and storing the image into the back of my head like a camera. I stared, my gaze hawk-like. It was as though I was trying to send him a subliminal message for him to wake up. Although I wasn't really the kind of person that believed in such rubbish, I couldn't help but give it a try. I experimented for a few minutes.

Would Deidara wake up if I continued to stare at him with unflinching intensity? Or would he not get my subliminal message to wake from his slumber? It was almost as though I was challenging myself. And I knew that was exactly what I was doing - I was challenging myself.

Suddenly, the corners of Deidara's mouth twitched slightly, and his eyebrows knitted together. He began to shift slightly, and he turned his head to the right. He was slowly waking up. Perhaps he had received my subliminal message! I beamed for a few minutes, happy that I had someone to talk to and because I had won my challenge against myself. Deidara slowly sat upright, leaning forward. His hands will still tied behind his back, not allowing him to stretch.

He mumbled a curse, trying to get his hands loose. It was as though he didn't remember what had happened, and didn't know that I had caught him, even though we had talked before. He had implied that I was an idiot when I last spoke to him, which was about half an hour ago. I narrowed my eyes at Deidara as he smirked.

"Oh right, yeah... you captured me." he said. That's nice of him to state the obvious.

"Oh no," I began, my words dripping with sarcasm, "You were sleepwalking through Iwa and then you managed to get yourself in a small white room with a weak little Chunin and managed to chain your own hands behind your back while sitting on a small wooden chair."

"Sarcasm? I can tell, yeah. It isn't nice to be so mean to people..." Deidara said, grinning from his spot on the chair. I was suddenly curious about what his eyes might have looked like at that moment, but I pushed the feeling aside and regained my composure.

"If I remember correctly, when I came in here and politely asked if you were Deidara, you gave me a rude reply." I spoke coldly. Deidara simply scoffed.

"You said you were a Chunin? They're underestimating me, yeah..." he said, a smirk spreading across his face, "this will surely make saving my own ass a lot easier, yeah."

I glared, "Perhaps so. But how do you plan to get the handcuffs out? And how do you plan to get out of this room without a key? I locked the door."

"You could always get me out of these handcuffs for me. I mean really, I'm not all that bad, yeah..." he said, his grin widening. I didn't even flinch.

I snorted, "Not all that bad? It's because you're pure _evil_. You're in the Bingo Book, you're part of the Akatsuki, and you blew up half the village."

Deidara just leaned back in his wooden chair, relaxed despite his position, "They refused to respect my art, yeah."

I nearly blanched, "You're talking about your _bombs?_"

In all my nineteen years of being alive, never have I met someone that was so strange and indifferent. Deidara seriously thought that his bombs were considered art? Had the circumstances been any different, I would've said something nasty. Something that would surely bring someone to tears.

But of course, I wanted to get on Deidara's good side so that when he escaped, which he surely will since I know I won't be able to stop him if he tries, he won't kill me. Maybe he'll have the heart to spare my family. So yes, this proves me as a selfish coward that cares for nothing but her safety. But I am considering my family's safety as well, so no one can really call me a selfish coward. I'm doing this for my family!

"Yeah." Deidara said with a grin. I tried not to wince.

"They're... lovely." I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. Luckily, Deidara bought it and smiled. I must admit; he has the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen. I was glad that I couldn't see his eyes, otherwise I'm sure I would've blushed. Turned into a tomato right in front of the enemy.

Wait! I can't be complimenting the enemy on their _smile. _That's retarded! I pushed the thought to the dark corners of my mind and opened my mouth to speak, but I realized that there was nothing to talk about. I glared, trying to think of a subject only to come up with nothing.

Why was I even trying to find a subject to talk to Deidara about? I hate socializing and I love to isolate myself from humanity, so why am I even bothering to try to start a conversation with the crazy blond phycopath? He's the enemy, and I'm only trying to make it on his good side. So for now, I only tried to start a conversation because I was bored. I was bored. That's why I was looking for something to talk about. Nothing else.

I smiled at the thought and then decided that I should be doing something more important. Something that will help me in the future. I decided that I should explore the wall behind me, since I've yet to explore it.

I slowly stood, my legs slightly wobbly from being in a sitting position for a while. I slowly stretched and then turned around, facing the wall behind me. There were two white doors. The one on the left lead to the hall and the other one was the bathroom. It was obvious, since it had a sign that said "bathroom" right on it.

In between the two doors was a small, white wall phone. It was very plain, and I surely would've over looked it if I had something on my mind. But for now, my mind was a complete blank. I had nothing to think about, so I knew I wouldn't be able to miss anything.

Suddenly, the phone blared loudly, causing me to jump. Deidara simply perked up slightly to the sudden sound. I winced and walked over to the phone, picking up the receiver, "Hello?"

"_Kaori. Check our prisoner for weapons._" said the voice on the other end. Before I could reply, the other line went dead. I muttered and turned around, facing Deidara who seemed to be trying to find out which direction the phone rang from.

I rolled my eyes. No wonder he was so cocky before. He still had all his weapons. I walked toward him and then tried to stay mature. I would have to _feel _him in order to find all the weapons that he has. I'd have to touch him, and sometimes the places are very _interesting. _

I tried to shake the thought away, but it was too late since I was already as red as a tomato. Great. At least he couldn't see me. I knelt down on one knee, twitching a little bit. This was so degrading. They should have at least had a male do this job. It's much too awkward for me.

"... I need to check you for weapons." I said, still in my tomato phase. Deidara grinned.

"You know... you could've just asked if you"-

"_Ew, no!_" I cried in disgust, crinkling my nose. Deidara smirked slyly.

I officially hated this person. He was just way too weird. I decided that it's probably a better idea to take off his handcuffs. Where would he go anyway? It's not like he's going to attempt to escape. At least, I don't think he would. Would he? Well, it's not like I'm the only person in this building. I'll just call the ANBU.

Also, he did say he didn't have any clay, and he's _tired... _so that probably means that his hand to hand combat will suck. I nodded at my own wisdom and then took the keys out of my shirt. Yes, I had put the keys in my shirt.

"Will you try to escape?" I asked. I don't care if he lies or not. I've got the upper hand either way. Deidara just shrugged.

"Nah. Maybe later... yeah." he said. I rolled my eyes, unlocking the handcuffs and quickly put them in my kunai pack. Deidara simply stood up, stretching slightly. However, he didn't charge at me. I was expecting it, too! I raised an eyebrow.

"... Okay... well, take off your cloak and hand over all your kunai pouches, scrolls, swords, gadgets, whatever." I sniffed.

Deidara grinned and did was he was told, throwing all his stuff on a pile. I was surprised. It looked like he actually took out everything. He's still cocky? He's hiding something.

I walked forward and began to feel around for anything else, glaring as I did so. What if he has something else? Suddenly, I heard a laugh.

"So you don't trust me, yeah?" asked Deidara, trying to sound offended. I jumped a meter back.

Deidara had taken off the blindfold, and was grinning at me. I tried in vain not to blush. He was _good looking. _His eyes were a soft teal, but his left eye was covered with thick bangs. I saw some metal. I grinned slightly.

"Busted." I snorted, quickly walking toward him and peeling the metal contraption from his eye. Deidara simply raised an eyebrow. I took it into my hands. I ran my finger along the cool metal. It was a scope. Not dangerous at all. Deidara snickered.

"See? I'm not all that bad, yeah." Deidara said.

I glared slightly, handing back the scope and pushing all of Deidara's weapons into the farthest corner. After that, I pulled out the handcuffs. Deidara rolled his eyes.

"You're kidding." he muttered. I smiled.

"Nope." I replied lightly, pointing to the chair, "Sit down."

He whined, "No!"

I glared, "Sit down. Be a good criminal."

Deidara smirked deviously, "Sure.."

I shivered slightly. That one smirk, for some reason, scared the hell out of me. It sent chills down my spine. It was scary. I felt as though he was looking right through me, and stabbing my soul mercilessly. I felt as though he was trying to grab my brain and pull it out through my mouth, and twisting a knife and skewering my stomach with it. Then, I imagined him sending me to my gruesome, morbid death all alone. It was terrifying.

I didn't want him to smirk at me any longer, so I tried to look away, averting my eyes. Anywhere! Anywhere but his smirk which scared the hell out of me. Suddenly, I decided that it was no use. I muttered a couple of curses before walking toward him with the handcuffs, locking his hands securely behind his back, assuring me that he wouldn't escape.

After I was done, I picked up the blindfold. Suddenly, it occurred to me that there was no point in putting it on. It'd just be a waste of time. But then again, what if the blindfold was of some significance? What if it'd guarantee my success on this mission? I grumbled, tying the blindfold around Deidara's head so that he could not see once more.

"Psht." Deidara muttered, leaning back, "So paranoid."

I glared at him, "Whatever."

It wasn't like I was going to let his comments actually get to me. No, I would not! It was ridiculous enough that I was even listening to it. I should just ignore him. Ignore him and push him to the farthest depths of my mind, not allowing him in. I'm very good at ignoring people, so this was going to be fun indeed. Although most people have problems with circumstances like these, I do not for I put it all in a simple manner to avoid confusion and to keep my sanity in tact.

It's easy to ignore what people say, but it's harder to pretend to try and ignore what people say. So in this case, I'm not going to pretend to try to ignore Deidara, but ignore him. What is the point of pretending? What will I gain from pretending to ignore a person that means nothing to me nor anyone else? This person blew up half of Iwa and is probably one of the hardest people to ignore, but right now, I'm going to ignore him. Why? I don't really know.

I know I'm simply rambling about irrelevant details, however, if they're so irrelevant, why would I ramble about them? Is it that I simply am trying to ward off boredom or is it because I'm simply trying to get a good grasp on my sanity before it entirely slips away through my fingers? Either way, it's truly pathetic that I'm still thinking about these unimportant details. However, that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop. In fact, I don't even know the true reason why I even started.

Why is it that I'm not just getting to the point? Why do I simply carry on thinking about these strange thoughts that no person should ever have to think about? Is it that I don't have a life, or rather that I don't have a good one?

Finally, I decided that I had enough of thinking about strange thoughts and decided to once more do something else. Something more productive. Something that I will gain from. Gain what, I do not know, but now it doesn't matter what I gain, as long as I'm gaining something. I slowly stood, my body slightly heavy. I slowly stretched and then turned around, facing the behind me.

Like I had mentioned earlier, there were two doors. One leading to the washroom, and one leading into the main hall. And, in between the two doors was an inconspicuous phone. I decided to head to the bathroom. I took my first step, which was surprisingly awkward. It was as though I had not been walking for two years, and I am now walking for the first time. My first step was wobbly and weak, as though my bones had been abducted.

I leaned on the chair, trying to regain my balance and pride. Finally, I took two more steps forward, suddenly getting the hang of walking.

I walked toward the white door which had the sign "washroom" on it and reached for the handle. I suddenly paused, my hand hovering over the doorknob. I don't know why I paused, but for some reason I felt as though it was the right thing just to stop. I'm not sure why, but that's just the way I felt. However, the pause wasn't for long, because before I knew it, I had turned the knob and opened the door.

I was now standing in the middle of the room that was known as the the bathroom, looking around, an astonished expression on my face. I looked like I didn't know how I got there, as though all my memories had been wiped out and I didn't even understand the world anymore. However, I was quickly brought back to reality and got a chance to fully examine the washroom.

In front of me, there was a normal sink. It was white, with no design on it whatsoever. The basin of the sink was spotless, as though it was brand new. The faucets were clean, and I could make out my somewhat slanted reflection by looking into it. I reached out and grabbed the handle and turned it, and water suddenly pouring down. Nothing was wrong with the sink. It was in perfect working condition.

Above the sink was a mirror. Like the sink, it was perfectly spotless. I gazed into the sink at my reflection. The girl that stared back at me was tired, her brown hair astray. Her brown eyes were lifeless and dull, and her clothes were rumpled and messy. She didn't look like the person I knew at all. The person I knew always looked clean. The person I knew, the person I _was. _Or perhaps, the person I convinced myself I was.

Not wanting to think about the subject any longer, I stopped the flow of water and turned to face the bathtub. Spotless once again. Beside the bathtub was a toilet, also perfectly clean in every way. I finally then noticed, to the left of the toilet, was a window. The window was barred. I was slightly disappointed, but then I suddenly brightened when I realized that there was a little lock attached to it. I reached for the keys, which I was hiding in my shirt, and then fumbled with them, trying each one that I had on the small lock.

Finally, there was one key, the smallest, rustiest one, that opened the lock and allowed me to pull off the bars. I nearly scoffed. The ANBU were surely losing their touch, since that would've been the easiest escape attempt for any criminal trapped in here. Steal the keys from the sleeping guard, go to the washroom, take the bars out, open the window, and get out. Too easy.

But luckily for the ANBU, I wasn't the criminal. I casually opened the window, letting the breeze into the small room. The feeling of the sun's rays on my face was like no other, and outside was the forest. I looked down. About a six feet drop. I could easily drop down and get out... but below... oh. Perhaps the ANBU _had _planned ahead after all. Down below there were so many traps. But the gleam of the see-through strings in the sun were almost unmissable.

But then again, not many people take the time to thoroughly examine their surroundings like I do. They just fling themselves out there, as though there aren't any dangers. As though life was something that they didn't necessarily care about. Something that they didn't exactly treasure.

I scoffed, closing the window and putting the bars back in place and locking it. I left the washroom and closed the door behind me, stepping into the blank room in which Deidara sat in. He just continued to sit there patiently. What is he waiting for? Why does he not make an effort to escape? Can't he tell that I have no experience in guarding s-ranked criminals like him?

Of course he didn't, since he continued to sit there like escaping would be a simple walk in the park. Should I tell him that at the end of the month he'll be executed? Perhaps not. I don't want to cause myself any more trouble than I already have. I should just let the month pass. I'm far too lazy to interrogate. And I'm not much of a fighter either. I might as well just ride with the wind.

I sat casually in the chair, listening the the clock tick away, just letting the time pass me by. I didn't care. I swung my left leg over my right, crossing my legs and swinging my left leg in time with the clock's every tick. I hummed a little tune and smiled a little bit, nodding my head as well. The clock just continued to tick and tick.

_Tick... tick... tick..._

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Finally this chapter is completed! I'm glad that so many people like this story, and I've got some really good ideas about this story. I'm very excited about posting stories lately, because I have all these ideas... it's just that sometimes I refuse to actually put them to good use. Thanks again for reading this story! Reviews would be really great!_


	3. Chapter 3

_I do not own Naruto._

_-- Author's Notes --_

_So, here I am, updating this story. The last chapter was really boring, I realized, so I decided to make this one a little bit more exciting. So here it is. This, by the way, was written on Tuesday, June 10, 2008. Enjoy my lovely little tale!_

_--Chapter 3: In which Kaori states her first reason--_

I didn't realize it before, and I probably would have totally forgotten about it if I had been doing something else. Deidara had called me paranoid! Well, yes, I am paranoid, but still, what's so bad about being paranoid? Being paranoid is a good thing in many ways. It means that you are aware; always alert and always paying attention to things happening around you. To be paranoid means that you are overly cautious.

And, to me, it is not as much as a bad thing as it is a _good _thing. It may limit the amount of activities and adventures that I may take in my life, but, as I like to say, it's better safe than sorry. Also, it's better paranoid than dead.

Dead is what I might have been if I had let Deidara go around without the handcuffs. Who knows what he might've done if I had let him wander around and do what he wanted? He could have easily defeated me in combat, find the location of the key that I hid, and then escape. He'd probably be able to defeat some ANBU as well. I had no doubts that s-ranked criminals could defeat me and an ANBU. In fact, Deidara may be as strong, if not stronger, than the Tsuchikage! It was unfathomable, insane! It… it… it scared the living hell out of me.

From that point on, I had to be ready. I did this by going through the weapons that I had neglected in the corner, prodding at strange objects that I didn't quite understand. And, let me tell you, there were plenty of them. He had all the essentials, such as kunais, shuriken, scrolls, soldier pills, and explosive notes.

Some strange objects that I had never seen before were a package of clay birds, a strange book with plenty of odd sketches, and a ring with the kanji "blue" written on it. I didn't ask why he wasn't wearing it because I was stressed and far too lazy to talk.

"This is boring," spoke Deidara suddenly.

I perked up, giving him an odd look. With a sigh, I replied, "So? I'm not here to entertain you; I'm just here to watch you."

"Something smells here," Deidara changed the subject, scrunching up his nose, "… it smells like blood."

I rolled my eyes, "That might be _you, _Mister Big and Bad! I wouldn't be surprised either. With all the supplies you have here, you could probably take out all the guards."

"Thank you, yeah… but still… I don't have my main weapon."

His bombs were his main weapon… and I saw a package of play figurines. Although he didn't have them _with _him, they were still here! That liar. For several moments, I panicked. Would he be able to reach them from his position? No, I realized. I was pretty sure that he had to make a hand symbol for the clay bombs to explode, and as long as I kept his hands handcuffed together behind his back with that blindfold, there was no way he could detonate his bombs. I guess I was right. It _is _good to be paranoid. Perhaps if I had let him take off his handcuffs, he would've already blown up the place. I shivered at the thought.

"It's boring here, yeah," Deidara muttered again in annoyance.

I gritted my teeth together and huffed, "God! Just shut up! This isn't supposed to be enjoyable to you… and even I, the guard, am not finding this very enthralling."

"Aw… you're not having any fun?" asked Deidara, seemingly trying to act hurt.

"I think I'd have more fun talking to a toothpick," I sniffed, my head high.

Deidara simply grinned, "The only way to discover whether or not something is enjoyable is out of experience. Therefore you are saying that you've talked to toothpicks before and that in comparison to watching me, talking to toothpicks is more enjoyable… yeah."

"So, you couldn't tell I was being sarcastic then? A little pathetic," I said, rolling my eyes.

Deidara shifted a little, "Well you sounded pretty serious, yeah."

"You really think that I'd talk to toothpicks? That isn't nice."

"I can't really judge a person I don't know."

"Yeah, but that would mean that you don't have the right to say I talk to toothpicks!"

"But that also means that I can't say that you don't, yeah," Deidara finished in a smug tone.

I narrowed my eyes, infuriated with Deidara's behavior, "You know what? You are so infuriating."

"Why thank you," Deidara says, sarcastic yet amused.

"There are ten things I can name that I absolutely loathe about you," the volume of my voice got louder.

Deidara simply smirked lazily, "Oh really? I bet you can't name _one_, yeah_._"

"Sure I can. The first one is that you are a _bastard. _The most infuriating person I've _ever met. _Your over-confidence sickens me to no end and the way you smirk is so sadistic and disgusting. You make me want to throw up."

"Gee, thanks," Deidara says sarcastically.

I was seething by now, my teeth clenched, "You're welcome."

And the Tsuchikage said that this would be _easy? _Maybe the watching part was easy but trying not to kill him on the spot isn't.

Well, it actually might backfire if I tried to murder him. For one thing, the Tsuchikage would be pissed because they wouldn't be able to get any information off of him if I did, and plus, Deidara might have some sort of surprise attack that he uses when people try to kill him or something like that. I could end up dead. But still, just talking to him just pissed me off. Whenever I talked to him I felt like tearing my hair out and stuffing it down his throat.

I knew that there was no way that I had the guts or skill to kill him. However, that didn't stop me from _imagining _many different scenarios of me killing him and plastering a smug expression on my face.

One scenario might be at night, when Deidara's sleeping. Maybe I could just wait until I know that he's sound asleep and then shove my sword into his gut. I'll wash my sword in the sink and then carry Deidara's dead body to the bathroom window and throw him out, into the many traps.

Then, his body will suffer from further damage and the ANBU would never figure out what happened. I'd say that he tried to escape and that I had tried to stop him, but he beat me down and took the key and jumped out the window, into the traps. Maybe I'd even mess myself up just to seem more convincing.

Another scenario I imagined was me putting Deidara's clay figurines into his pocket while he's not paying attention. Then, when he questions me, I'll distract him from his question by asking if he wanted me to remove his handcuffs.

Once his handcuffs are removed, I'll start annoying and insulting him. Then, I'd hold up the empty bag and taunt him with it. He'll think that they clay figurines are still there and try to detonate them, completely unaware that they are in his pocket. He'll detonate them, ending his own life with his weapon.

The first one, I thought, I might've had a chance with. Deidara would most likely be over-confident and let his guard down while sleeping, allowing me the perfect time to strike. The second one was a little bit insane, since Deidara _is _an s-ranked criminal and could probably tell that I had put his clay statues in his pocket. He'd find out and then be pissed off at me, and then he'd bite me back, if you know what I mean.

Maybe I might try the first option, but even though the first one was the plan that I actually had a chance with, it isn't one hundred percent guaranteed that my plan will unfold perfectly. And usually when I "let the pieces fall where they may", they don't fit together correctly and just make a big mess.

Eventually, I gave up on attempting killing Deidara. It wasn't going to get me _anywhere._ Instead, I decided that I would do my job. I would _try _to interrogate him and see if I can get dirt on the Akatsuki.

"So…" I began uneasily.

Deidara lifted his head, "Yeah?"

"Why'd you join the Akatsuki? Any specific reasons?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Deidara snorted, "Pfft. It's not like I had a choice, yeah… They forced me into the Akatsuki. I never wanted to join."

"Oh… you say they forced you? Well, who did they send?" I asked out of curiosity and boredom.

"Sasori, Kisame, and… that bastard Itachi, yeah," he seethed.

I could imagine him glaring. Raising an eyebrow, I pried some more, "Oh? And I'm guessing that you didn't just _let _them take you, correct? From what I've seen so far, I'm going to assume that you'd put up some sort of fight to defend your ego."

Deidara snarled, "Feh. That stupid bastard Itachi… almost fooled me into killing myself with my clay, yeah…"

I was surprised that he was sharing so much information with me. I thought that Akatsuki members were smart. Of course, that was too much to expect from Deidara, "Ouch. I'm guessing that you have some sort of grudge against Itachi then?"

"I'm going to kill him one day," Deidara growled, obviously angry.

"So, what's with the scope? It doesn't seem dangerous, but what purpose does it serve?" I asked, resting my cheek in my palm and waiting for Deidara's answer.

Grudgingly, Deidara replied, "It's for long-range observation…"

"That's it?" I scoffed, "I thought that you were going to say something ridiculous, like you were going to kill Itachi using that scope. If I remember correctly, Itachi has some whacked eye technique called… hm, let me see, _Mangekyou Sharingan_."

"Over-rated Uchihas, yeah…" muttered Deidara, "Itachi and his stupid Genjutsu skills. Completely over-rated."

I grinned, "Jealous, aren't we? At least you weren't stupid enough to try and take him head-on. You would've gotten killed."

"This world is over-rated, yeah…" Deidara muttered again, "Nothing is meant to be eternal. If I'm going to die, I'm going out with a bang."

I scoffed, "Well, that's a little… disturbing. To go out with a _bang?_ Don't you _somewhat _think that you should re-phrase that?"

Deidara grinned, "Sick-minded, aren't you, yeah? And from a _girl _no less."

"At least I'm not psychopathic," I muttered.

"Art is fleeting," Deidara said, grinning, "Nothing is meant to last forever."

I gave it some thought. _Was he right? _What does last forever? The world wouldn't even last forever. Memories are forgotten and buried into the past. Oh, but there is one thing that lasted forever. I smirked, "Yes, there is."

"Oh, and what is that?" demanded Deidara in a challenging sort of tone.

I grinned, "Love. Love lasts forever."

Deidara smirked, "_Love _is a lie wrapped in ribbons to make it seem more appealing, yeah."

"I don't even know _why _I bothered mentioning it. A person like you would never experience the meaning of true love," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"And you have?"

I shrugged, knowing that he couldn't see, "Well, no, but I know enough to conclude that someone like you would never understand. Have you ever heard of _marriage? _That's what people get into when they love each other."

"This _marriage _that you speak of is like signing a contract to forever live as a slave," Deidara replied.

I rolled my eyes, "Is that what you really think it is?"

"From what I've heard, yes," he grumbled.

"Well, I'm not even going to _bother _to take you up on that," I scoffed.

Deidara simply grumbled under his breath, "Wasn't asking ya to, yeah."

I decided that I've had enough of debating with him and went back to what I was originally doing, "So, what's the Akatsuki? I know that it's the conquest of strength, but do you have some sort of plan for world domination?"

Deidara scowled, "You think I'm stupid enough to tell you? Bitch."

"Excuse me? Well, if I'm a bitch, you're a bastard."

"I could care less, yeah… Wait 'till I get out of here, I'll show you what art really is."

"I'm sorry, but I think I've seen enough of your bombs! You're the village traitor that blew up half the village before you ran away. In case you don't remember, I'm only a little bit younger than you! How old were you at the time? Seventeen! I was about sixteen when I saw it all happen, you damned fucker! You killed so many people! Only an _idiot _would do such a thing!"

"I was going to leave quietly but they tried to stop me, yeah! I had to blow up the village to get them off my back," growled Deidara.

I kept my mouth shut, deciding to be mature. Maturity is the key to success in this mission. I decided that there was no point in arguing against Deidara, because I didn't want him to kill me and plus, it wasn't doing well for my pounding headache that I had to deal with.

A vein pulsed violently in my temple, and I took my index and middle finger and screwed them into the sides of my head, trying to ward off the oncoming migraine. No matter my efforts, I still ended up getting that annoying, infuriating migraine. I cursed as loudly as I could and then took out my pills, pushing them into my mouth and forcing them down my throat, slumping in my chair once again and closing my eyes. This wasn't working. I needed something to do; anything!

Suddenly, I realized that my stomach was aching. Hunger! I was starving, I realized. Patiently, I stood and then calmly walked toward the phone. I picked up the receiver and dialed zero. Before the phone could even ring, an ANBU picked up the phone and spoke monotonously, "_ANBU Squad fourteen leader. How may I be of assistance_?"

I rolled my eyes, but tried to sound professional, "Ahem. Excuse me, but I am in… the S-ranked criminal room. I would appreciate it if you supplied food for my prisoner and me."

I ANBU replied once more, without any emotion, "_Consider it done_."

The person on the opposite end of the line hung up the phone, and I did the same. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I sat down on the chair again, "… Hmph."

"Feh! You women are all the same; useless, yeah…" muttered Deidara.

I looked up, clenching my teeth, "Shut up. I just got us food. Grate my nerves again and maybe I won't feed you!"

Deidara smirked, not taking my threat seriously, "You call that a threat? Well, grate _my _nerves again and I'll break out of these chains and kill you in the most sadistic, morbid, and artistic way you can ever imagine, yeah."

"That's disgusting," I muttered, crinkling my nose.

"But it's a way better threat than what you came up with," said Deidara smugly.

"Since when was it a competition? Usually, criminals don't constantly try to argue with the person guarding them," I grumbled with a glare.

Deidara scoffed, a lazy grin spreading across his face, "Well, I'm not like most criminals, yeah… I know that I could kill my so-called _guard _with my hands tied behind my back."

I wasn't really offended by the statement, since I knew very well that it was one hundred percent true, "Maybe so, but I've got the ANBU on my side. Besides- Bad guys _never _win."

"Whenever the "good guys" die, they always end up dying in vain," says Deidara, a smirk spreading across his face once more. This person really likes to use his facial expressions doesn't he?

"Dying in vain?" I questioned out loud.

"Yeah, dying in vain. What do you need, a hearing aid, yeah?" he grumbled.

I lowered my head, "Well, your statement was indeed true, since I'm almost positive that all those people that died the day you left died in vain. You're still here, and you're still stronger than most of the people in this village."

"I'm so honored to be the reason there is hate in Iwagakure, yeah," Deidara said sadistically.

I just shrugged. I knew he didn't see it, and I didn't want him to. He could do and think whatever he wanted; there wasn't anything that I could do. I knew that he was going to die in exactly a month, so it wasn't like he's going to be around very long anyway. I'd be able to handle him. As long as I didn't give him a chance to escape, I was perfectly fine. That was what I knew I had to convince myself as long as I was with him.

I needed to think positive; think like I know I can. I was still a ninja. Even though I was incredibly weak for a Chunin I knew that I still had it in me to have the intelligence that's required to be a Chunin. Instead of being the brawn, I may take on the challenge of being a brain! I decided that I would analyze every situation carefully from then on and make sure that it was impossible for Deidara to escape.

Suddenly, there was a gentle knock at the door. It was the food, I realized. I silently stood up, walking toward the door behind me. I opened the door to come face-to-face with an ANBU who was carrying a tray with two bowls of what smelled to be ramen. With a respectful nod of my head, I accepted the tray and closed the door, locking it once more with my key. I walked toward Deidara, and I saw him perk up at the sudden deliciousness that was wafting through the air.

Deidara smirked when he heard me placing the tray onto the floor. I sat cross-legged, humming as I peeled the papery lids off the ramen cups.

It suddenly occurred to me that Deidara would not be able to eat without me having to take his handcuffs off. Did he think that I was that naïve? I decided that I would feed him, no matter how embarrassing and degrading it was, I would. I was way too paranoid to take such a risk, "Okay, don't get the wrong idea or anything, but I'm going to have to…" I paused to wince in pained way, "_feed _you…"

Deidara's smirk only widened, "Well, can I take the blindfold off, yeah?"

"And let you see me embarrass myself? No way. You're not feeding yourself, _I _am. And I can see where your mouth is."

"Fine," muttered Deidara.

Grudgingly, I picked up the chopsticks and took some noodles out of the cup. I lifted the food up to Deidara's mouth and as calmly as I could, I demanded, "Open your mouth."

Deidara smirked and did what he was told, taking in the noodles, "These aren't bad, yeah… when I was an ANBU here I don't recall anyone ever making food this good."

"It's probably _store bought_."

"It's still good," muttered Deidara. He was silenced by more noodles being shoved in his mouth, and he happily slurped them up.

At the moment, I was contemplating on whether I should just commit suicide or not. The thought soon disappeared almost as quickly as I had thought of it. No way. I was way too scared to face the wrath of God. I don't know whether I've been all that great of a person and I don't think I'd handle hell's harsh conditions.

"Can you hurry up? Why can't I just feed myself, yeah…" muttered Deidara.

I shook my head, realizing that I hadn't been feeding him, "Sorry…"

"Just feed me," muttered Deidara. I scooped up more noodles and put them in his awaiting mouth.

"This is so degrading. They must've made me do this to see me make an idiot out of myself," I muttered.

Deidara smirked, "You should feel grateful, yeah! Not all girls get a chance to feed a guy as sexy as me."

My eyebrow twitched, "Just shut up and eat the damn noodles!"

Soon, he was done the noodles. I heaved a sigh of relief and sat in my chair again with my own cup and chopsticks. I slowly began to eat my now warm noodles. Deidara suddenly asked, "Do you have a name?"

I looked up in mid-slurp, "Wuh?"

"N-a-m-e. Name. Do you have a name, yeah?" he asked again impatiently.

I slurped down the rest of the noodles and then answered, "Well, yes."

"So what is it? I want to thank you properly for so graciously feeding me," he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. Why not tell him? "Eh, Kaori."

"Oh. Well then, thank you Kaori for so graciously feeding me."

"… Sure."

_-- Author's Notes --_

_This was finished Thursday, June 12, 2008. Please R&R and thanks for being so patient!_


	4. Chapter 4

_I do not own Naruto._

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Yay! I love that I'm getting reviews, and I really appreciate it! Thank you very much! I'm updating rather quick for this story, because I really enjoy writing it! Plus, I'm updating based on my poll that's on my page. This was in second place! So, this is the story that I'm updating. Thank you for voting for this story!_

_I began writing this chapter on June 23, 2008._

_--Chapter 4: In which night approaches--_

I stared at the clock, eyes wide with fearful awe. _No! _The long hand was millimeters away from reaching the twelve at the top of the clock, and the smaller hand was already on the nine. Night was approaching. Night is the most dangerous time here at the prison.

This is the time where all the lower class prisoners strike. Mostly because the guards are always doing a half-ass job and sleeping. Also because most of the time, the prisoners are equally as strong (if not stronger) than their guards. So, it all adds up to the prisoner escaping and then telling all their criminal friends when and how they should escape if ever they happened to get captured by the Iwagakure ninja.

Don't get me wrong; it isn't the ANBU that are slouches. They're usually doing all the crazy stuff like guarding the Tsuchikage and doing what I'm doing right now. They're always getting all the cool, impossible jobs. They leave Chunin to guard all the rouge ninjas and all that. And the rouge ninjas are always underestimated. I don't know why other Chunins take jobs like this so lightly. I guess they think that they've got what it takes to take a rouge ninja down, even though they clearly don't.

Suddenly, something ridiculously scary happened. The lights began to flicker like mad, and the temperature of the room rose like mad until it was about thirty degrees. For many moments, I and Deidara were in total, utter darkness. It was blacker than black. It was dead. The once brightly lit, white room was completely and utterly dead. I couldn't see a thing. Nothing at all.

I gulped, suddenly feeling slightly queasy in the darkness. Somehow, I suddenly thought that maybe they were playing some sort of mean prank on me. Maybe there was some sort of hidden camera, waiting for me to crack so that they could jump out of their hiding places and laugh at me. Maybe this whole thing was a set up! From the book that I read and everything. Maybe my friend's a paid actress!

I stopped with my ridiculous thoughts. I'm over-thinking everything. I needed to be practical. They probably did this to conserve energy or something. Plus I probably could just turn the lights back on, right? However, how would I be able to find a light switch when it's so dark? I can't even see anything. I wouldn't really be able to tell the difference between having my eyes closed and opened. Either way, what I saw was the same. All I saw was black.

The once brightly lit, blindingly white room was now blacker than ever. The blackest, darkest place I've ever been in. It scared the shit out of me, but I had to suck it up for now. I was the guard, and I couldn't make an idiot out of myself with the prisoner there. It'd just lower my self-confidence and make guarding Deidara so much harder.

I decided that it was ridiculous to have to guard someone in the dark and then stood, remembering when I examined the room earlier. The phone was directly behind me. I quickly found the phone, and I mentally thanked myself for analyzing the room earlier. I found the zero and pressed it, and an ANBU immediately picked up, "_ANBU Squad fourteen leader. How may I be of assistance?"_

It was the exact same tone as before, "In case you haven't noticed, the lights have gone off. When will this be repaired?"

The ANBU answered, "_We're working as fast as we can. Please bear with us._"

"Alright. Thank you."

The ANBU hung up, and I did the same. I groped my way around in the darkness, trying to feel for my chair. When I thought I had found it, I sat down, but I fell on my ass. With a curse, I finally found my way back to my chair and sat down grouchily, blushing like mad. I slumped in my seat grumbling about how ANBU were slackers. Well, one thing's for sure –I wasn't going to be accepting a job like this again. If the ANBU aren't going to pick up their socks and fix this predicament right now, actually, I'm going to try and quit the mission. Who cares if my parents scold me? Not me.

"I hope you're not scared of the dark," I suddenly muttered.

I could practically _hear _Deidara's smirk in his words, "Nah. After spending so much time in the Akatsuki, you learn not to be afraid of anything, yeah…"

"And that's because you're the epitome of scary. You and your little posse. I'm sure that you have many followers, right? But I'm sure you have much more enemies than followers."

"Well, no shit. The Akatsuki is an evil organization, so of course there aren't going to be many people who have the balls to try and be our ally. Usually we kill our allies if we find their not going to be of any help to us, yeah," said Deidara, as though bragging.

I merely scoffed, "Is that supposed to intimidate me? Well, just so you know, I've never had plans to go evil. Evil people are… well, evil!"

"Gee, really? I never knew," muttered Deidara sarcastically. I could hear Deidara click his tongue in the dark. "Are you afraid of the dark Kaori?"

I raised my head once more only to see black. I just closed my eyes. "Well, sort of. Depending on what kind of darkness it is."

"What do ya mean, yeah?" asked Deidara, confusion evident in his tone.

I shrugged. I don't know why I shrugged, for I knew he couldn't see it. "Well, this darkness isn't that scary, mostly because I'm not by myself. Mostly when I'm by myself, my mind just goes haywire on me and starts thinking up all this scary crap. So, that's the kind of dark I'm scared of. This dark I'm not scared of because I have someone with me. For some reason, that makes me just feel safer. I guess it's because I'm not alone."

"That was incredibly corny," muttered Deidara. "But, I suppose that it makes sense, yeah…"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm sure that even a big, bad ninja like you has been scared before, right?"

"Are you kidding?" scoffed Deidara. "I haven't been scared since I was _eight._"

"No, I'm not kidding. I'm sure that you've been scared before, right? Don't worry; a little weakling like me won't spill any of your secrets," I promised sarcastically. Deidara remained silent, as though thinking it over.

"Uh, sorry. I really can't think of a time where I've been scared," said Deidara sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes. I knew he was telling the truth, so I just asked a new question, "Well, when was the last time you cried?"

"What's with all the personal questions, yeah?" asked Deidara, bewildered. "Well, last time I cried? Probably about eight again," Deidara paused, "Well, what about you Kaori? When was the last time _you _cried and the last time _you _were scared?"

I thought it over. When _was _the last time I was scared? When did I last cry? I racked my brain, really thinking about it. Suddenly, in mid-thought, I realized that I shouldn't be sharing this type of information with him. He's an s-ranked criminal, for God's sake! He's evil. He wouldn't understand this sort of stuff. However, my words betrayed me, since I ended up telling him, "Last time I was scared was when _you _blew up half the village. That was also the last time I cried because you blew up my Academy classmate. She wasn't my best friend or anything, but she was someone I knew."

"… Sorry," Deidara muttered.

My head whipped upward, hurting my neck. Was he sincerely apologizing to me? I blinked. Still flabbergasted, I answered, "Um, I suppose it's alright. She's in a better place now, and it isn't like I knew her all that well…"

Deidara stayed silent for a few moments before asking, "Who's the Tsuchikage?"

I racked my brain once more. God, who the hell _was _the Tsuchikage? Suddenly, I remembered. Oh shit, the Tsuchikage was Deidara's _team mate. _Well, Deidara's former team mate. I mumbled, "Ryuu-sama…"

"Last name?" asked Deidara, seemingly impatient.

"Ryuu Ame…" I muttered. His name was "Dragon Rain". It's funny how things work out, right?

Deidara snickered, "That nerd became Tsuchikage, yeah? Maybe once I get outta here I'll pay him a visit."

Oh no, please don't. I bit my lip, and, nervously I said, "Uh, how about you _don't. _I mean, the Tsuchikage is a busy person."

"I'm aware. But I'm sure that he can put aside some time for his team mate, yeah."

I was tempted to freak out and yell that he couldn't visit him, but I remembered that I needed to keep calm in order for this mission to be a success. I took a deep breath, "Well, if you're lucky, he'll come down and interrogate you so that I can finally have a break."

"Please. Guarding me isn't that bad, yeah… at least you didn't end up with Itachi, who would've trapped you in Tsukuyomi already and killed everyone in sight," muttered Deidara, "Plus he isn't artistic at all."

I groaned, "Gah, please don't start with the artistic crap! My brain's going to explode from over-exposure to pure idiocy!"

"_Art _is not idiocy, yeah… Art is a solace. Art is fleeting –something meant to be there for just one moment and then be gone forever."

"Ya know what? I'm not going to debate art with the likes of _you._ I'm just wasting my time!" I grumbled.

Deidara snickered, and then asked, "Hey, you know something? You're voice is incredibly dull for a girl."

My brilliant reply? "So?"

"You don't care, yeah?" asked Deidara, and I could imagine him frowning.

I rubbed my temples. The darkness barely bothered me anymore. "Well, no, not really… I don't know why you think that I would."

"I thought I'd be the first to mention it," muttered Deidara, "I guess not, yeah…"

"Well, I have a life, just so you know. Just… not one that I particularly enjoy," I mumbled, slouching even more. Yes, my life was boring. Not the life that I had wanted at all. It isn't like I _hated _my life. It's just that I wished that I had more control. I wished that I could quit being a ninja and retire from it early. My plan had been to find someone decent and adopt children from the Sunagakure orphanage. Then I'd raise my children and encourage them to become medic-ninjas, and then work at the hospital. And maybe if I still wanted, I could maybe start courses on being a dentist.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Deidara spoke again, "You don't enjoy your life? Why not, yeah?"

"I don't know why it concerns you, but it's just because I don't even _want _to be a ninja," I muttered, "Can't you see how horrible I am at even guarding? I'm making conversation with the _prisoner._"

Deidara chuckled, "Well, it isn't that bad, yeah… I'm just the kind of guy people open up to."

"I suppose. But I wouldn't say I was _opening up _to you. I'm just having a civilized conversation with you. The kind of conversation that most people would have over the dinner table."

"Oh, like a _date?_" Deidara snickered.

I turned red, but forced myself to be calm, "_no, _not like a date. More like a business dinner. If you understand what I mean."

"Sure I do. Either way; it's a date, yeah."

"No it isn't. A date is when two people who are interested in each other go out to a special place. A business dinner is when two people who are having dinner for business. And besides –most dates aren't located in the middle of a prison with one person handcuffed to a chair and blindfolded."

"…Well, _some _are… and usually when it's these types of dates, things tend to get a little… _messy,_" Deidara snickers.

I turned red once more, "_shut up. _That is not what I meant you sick-minded imbecile!"

Deidara snickered once more, "All right, all right."

Once my blush finally faded, I decided to ask more questions, "Ahem, anyway…"

"Yea?"

I suddenly forgot what I was going to ask. Ugh, what was I going to say? I racked my brain, but couldn't think of anything other than the question that I asked next, "What's it like in the Akatsuki?"

Lame. Totally, utterly, lame. I cringed, but listened to his answer: "I suppose that it's fine, yeah. I got to use my art more often, just like I wanted. It does get to be a drag though."

"I'm certain," I mumbled. The lights flickered back on. "Finally!"

Deidara smirked, "It wasn't _that _bad."

"I guess not." I shrugged. "But still, it's nice to be able to see again."

I blinked, trying to let my eyes adjust to the sudden blinding light. I groaned and looked up at the clock. The nine forty-five pm. I grumbled under my breath and then yawned. Would I be able to sleep? Hearing my yawn, Deidara spoke, "Tired? You can go to sleep, yeah…"

I snorted, "No way. I'm not letting you escape."

"I won't escape. I don't have a good enough plan yet," Deidara said.

I narrowed my eyes, "How do I know I can trust you?"

"I dunno. I guess that's just up to you, yeah…"

I stood, walking over to Deidara. I circled around his chair, checking to see if the handcuffs were on properly. I examined the handcuffs to see that I had done it right. I looked over to his blindfold. It seemed to be on securely as well. He was relaxed, and didn't look like he was going to escape. Still paranoid, I moved the weapons so that they were directly under my chair. I must've made quite a racket, because Deidara spoke again.

"What the hell are you doing? Digging a hole to Konoha, yeah?" he muttered, frowning.

I sent him the most withering glare I could muster, "Well, I'm just putting all your weapons somewhere. Just shut up for two minutes!"

"I don't have to," replied Deidara.

I groaned as I sat down on my chair again, swallowing down two more pills with a sigh, "God. Yes, you do. As long as I am here killing myself just watching you, you are going to zip it! At least for the night."

"If you're lucky," he snickers. "What if I have to go to the washroom, yeah?"

I opened my eyes. Washroom? I glanced over my shoulder at the door that led to the washroom. I had nearly forgotten that –Akatsuki or not- we all had human needs. One of them was, unfortunately, urinating. I had nearly forgotten that Deidara was human since all I've heard about him is "big, bad Deidara" and "crazy nut job that blew up the village". You can't imagine bad guys going to the washroom.

That's just not what you think about. So I'm sure that I'm not the only one out there that thinks that it's an awkward question to answer, right? "Um, do you need to use it _now?_"

"No, it's just that what if I need to use it in the middle of the night?"

"Then go right now so that you won't," I grumbled.

Deidara grinned, shifting in his chair, "Uh, these handcuffs? And I'm going to have to take the blindfold off unless you're planning on assisting me, yeah…"

I scrunched up my face in disgust, "_you sicken me._"

Suddenly, panic and paranoia erupted within me for the second time. Oh shit. What am I going to do now? There's no way I'm helping him, so that was completely out of the question, but how do I know I can trust this moron? He might kill me if I let him go! I quickly grabbed as much as the tools as I could and ran to the washroom, dumping them into the empty, spotless bathtub. I went back and took the second load. I then ran right back to the bathtub and dropped them all in. I closed the curtains with a _swoosh _and then went back to my chair, heaving a huge sigh. Deidara smirked and said snidely, "_That _wasn't obvious at all."

I glared liquid flames toward Deidara, twitching, "Gah! You are… God!"

Deidara raised an eyebrow, evidently amused, "I've had plenty of girls swoon over me, but I don't think I've ever been called 'God' before, yeah."

"Shut up. You better not attack, otherwise, I swear to God… I'll be your personal poltergeist when I die! And I'll damn you for the rest of my life –my before _and _after life!"

Deidara shrugged it off, "Yeah, yeah, hurry up."

I was hesitant for a moment, but then stood up and walked toward him. I, as roughly as I could, undid the knot for the blindfold. Once it was off, I moved behind Deidara so that he couldn't see my face. I grumbled to myself as I removed the ring of keys out of my shirt and singled out a small, shiny one. I inserted it into the key hole on the handcuffs. I turned the keys, activating the tumblers, then, unlocking the handcuffs. I practically jumped three meters away, hand on the handle of my sword and anticipating an attack. Deidara merely stood up casually and stretched, looking over his shoulder and sending me a sheepish grin.

His statement pissed me off to no end: "You're short."

My eyebrow twitched, and I closed my eyes, struggling to maintain my calm, "Gee, I never knew. What a revelation! Well maybe it's because you're the freaking bean stock giant!"

Deidara raised an eyebrow, "What? I'm only 5'9..."

"Only? That is considered very tall for a person like me!"

Deidara smirked and walked toward me. He looked down at me, and I glared up at him, my hand hovering over my sword. He raised his hand and placed it on the top of his head, and moved it so that it was hovering over my head. He smirked and backed up, muttering, "You're about 5'5, yeah…"

"I hate you. You're not up and about to compare our sizes! Go to the washroom before I lock you up to the chair again!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Fine, fine…"

He casually walked toward the door with the washroom sign on it and entered, shutting the door behind him. I bounced over to the door after it was shut, pressing my ear tightly to the door. I listened as closely as I could, but didn't hear any clinking or swishing from the curtain. Therefore, Deidara had not tried to get a weapon. I sighed, and as I was backing away, the door flew open, and I was hit square in the face. I fell to the ground, hiding my face and muttering curses.

I stopped my curses when I heard Deidara's sheepish apology, "Oh, sorry. Didn't see ya there, yeah…"

I looked up at him, glaring, "That's _quite _alright. Now, let me show you to your seat."

I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the chair, sitting him down and handcuffing his hands behind his back. I reached into my pocket, trying to find the blindfold. _Shit. _I checked my pack, and then I looked around the room. Where the hell was it? I scowled down at Deidara, who was innocently staring at the floor.

"Where is it? Cut the cute act, it won't work on me," I snapped, looking at him expectantly.

Deidara looked up at me, baffled, "What the hell? I didn't take the blindfold, if that's what you're thinking, yeah…"

"Well then where is it?" I demanded.

Deidara shrugged, "Probably ran away from you."

I snarled, "Damn it, Deidara!"

Too peeved to say or do anything more, I stormed to my chair and moodily plunked myself down, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the clock, muttering curses. Shit I lost the blindfold? What kind of dolt would do that? It can't just evaporate or anything; that's impossible. Would Deidara be able to escape now that he didn't have a blindfold? No, no way he can. How could he, anyway? Unless he has laser beam (which I doubt), I'm pretty sure that he can't escape. At least, I hope.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that hiding his weapons wasn't necessary at all. If anything, it just made getting a weapon a lot easier for him. Fortunately for me, Deidara didn't go and get a weapon. How was it unnecessary? Well, I had them beneath my chair, and I'm pretty sure that I could've guarded them. However, I had to make it more stressful for myself by hiding them in the bathtub!

Self-esteem wounded, I stared at my hands. Of course, I had to forget that Deidara didn't have a blindfold anymore.

"Pfft. I never took you as the shy type, Kaori," said Deidara, smirking.

I looked up, glaring, "I'm _not _shy. I just don't want to talk to you."

"It's not like you have a choice. You won't last if you don't talk to someone, yeah…" muttered Deidara.

"Uh, yes I will. I'm positive that I'd survive without talking, unlike you who can't go on without talking for five minutes," I muttered. "In fact, hey, there's number two! That's the second reason that I hate you. You can't shut up. You always need to say something, no matter how stupid and random it is, you always have to whine about _something. _I feel like I'm babysitting a three year old instead of guarding an s-ranked criminal!"

Deidara blinked, grinning, "Wow."

"That's it? Good. Now stay quiet," I muttered, praying that he'd listen to me for once.

Of course, Deidara didn't care what I said. He'd take action anyway, "No."

I glared at him, fisting my hands, "Why the hell not?"

"Because it'd then be quiet, yeah," answers Deidara.

"That's what I _want, _dumb ass! I want to sleep," I grumbled.

Deidara sighs, blowing some hair out of his face, "Whatever, yeah…"

Satisfied, I close my eyes, furrowing my brow. It isn't exactly a comfortable sleeping position, but I was exhausted. I knew that Deidara wouldn't be able to escape, so I was at peace. I imagined myself in my room, in my cozy little bed. I shifted a little bit, almost going to sleep.

You can count on Deidara to ruin it all, "You look nice when you sleep."

I sat up straight, sending him a horrified look (despite the red-ness of my face), "_What?_"

"What?" asked Deidara, baffled.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I closed it once again. Deidara might be complimenting me to get off easier! Well I'm not falling for _that. _I smirked at my wisdom and closed my eyes once again, lowering my head.

You wouldn't believe how fast I was out.

_-- Author's Notes--_

_Aha, I updated really fast for this one. I just wanted to, I suppose. It's a fun, easy story to write. And it was second on the list. So I suppose that this is the story to update. Aha. So… hope you enjoyed! Please review!_

_I completed this chapter on June 25, 2008._


	5. Chapter 5

_I do not own Naruto._

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Oh wow I love this story. I keep on updating like a madwoman. This is so unusual for me, since it took me almost six months to update chapter three on this story. And now I'm updating every week or so. Amazing, isn't it? So, _Just a Little Flower _is going to be on Hiatus for a little while since I can't write to DeidaraxOC stories at the same time without messing up. So this is good to have this chapter out, right? Right?_

_I began writing this on Sunday, June 29, 2008. Ready, set, GO!_

_--Chapter 5: In which there are aspirations and the first awkward moment--_

People need a drive in life. They need something to aspire toward; otherwise they will stay in one place. They will be "stalled" as my father sometimes says. Did I have something to aspire toward, or, in one word, an aspiration? Did I have a "drive" in life? The more I thought about it, the more I realize it was one of the many things that my life was lacking.

It was something missing. A missing piece of the puzzle which was my life. There were many missing pieces, and this was only one. There were still others that I have yet to find. Other pieces that I may not even know exist. My life was lacking in so many ways and I had not a clue how I was going to find the lacking pieces of the puzzle. And when I do find all of them, how will I put them together?

Suddenly, I thought of Deidara. Why Deidara? Wasn't he the person that was going to die at the end of the month as soon as the ANBU can get information from him? Yes, that's right. So why would I think of Deidara? I pondered over it for a few moments and then came up with a question; did Deidara have a drive in life? Did he have something to aspire toward; an aspiration? Did he have all the pieces of the puzzle with him?

I opened my eyes, sitting up straight. My neck hurt from the awkward position that I had been in the entire night. I groggily rubbed my eyes and looked to Deidara, who was already awake and staring at me. I stretched. After my little stretch, I asked, "Do you have an aspiration?"

Deidara gave me a strange look, "The ANBU has you asking a lot of strange questions, yeah…"

"I'm asking you this out of intellectual curiosity. So answer," I grumbled, choking down two of my stress pills.

He thought it over, mulling over what to say, "Well," he began, "I aspire toward art; creativity, yeah. I want to be an artist and prove that my art will bring fear to the eyes of all who ever encounter its beauty, yeah. I want all who ever encounter my art to realize that art is fleeting."

I blinked, taking it all in. I slowly nodded. "Oh… well, would you say that you've found all the pieces of the puzzle?"

Baffled, he asked, "Puzzle, yeah?"

"Yes, puzzle. The puzzle of your life. Have you yet to acquire all of the missing pieces? Or rather, have you already put all the pieces together?" I asked this with great curiosity. I was interested in what Deidara had to say; perhaps I was hoping that his answer would grant mine. I hoped that maybe what Deidara said would give me a clue on what my missing puzzle pieces were, and how I would find them and put them together.

Deidara was silent for many moments, really thinking over what I had asked. His answer came out slow and unsure, "… No, I have not acquired all the pieces of my _puzzle, _yeah."

I sighed, disappointed, "Oh…"

"Why so disappointed? I'd think that you'd be rather happy in my failure to collect all the pieces of my 'life puzzle', yeah."

"Well… I suppose I was hoping that what you said about not having all the pieces of your puzzle would help me find my pieces," I muttered. I groaned, "Does that even make sense?"

Deidara grinned, rolling his eyes. "Well, yeah. You asked me that question for purely selfish reasons of your own."

I grumbled under my breath. Deidara grinned at me.

"At least I know that the ANBU haven't completely lost their touch, yeah. Perhaps breaking out of here will be harder than I expected."

Harder than he expected? I perked up at that. This means that I have a chance. He wasn't expecting this, so that means I have an advantage in this little war. I beamed at the thought. Feeling a little better, I carried on my conversation with Deidara; "So, what are the missing pieces of your puzzle?"

Deidara averted his eyes to the bright, fluorescent lights that hung from the ceiling, "Hm… I don't know. I guess I have to find out, yeah…"

"Same here," I replied. "I haven't found all my pieces yet, and even when I do find my pieces, I'll have to put them all together."

Deidara snickered, "Wow, this is quite a deep conversation, yeah. Who would've expected that someone as paranoid as you would be able to let loose and carry on a rather deep conversation with an evil villain like myself?"

"I don't know. Like you said, I asked you those questions for utterly selfish reasons," I muttered.

"That's a rather interesting way to view life, yeah," Deidara commented, "A gigantic puzzle? Did you come up with that?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, just a few moments ago when I was thinking about humans need a 'drive' in life."

Deidara nodded leaning back in his seat. "You're right, yeah. Humans need something to keep them going."

"I can't believe you're agreeing with me," I muttered.

"What? Is something wrong with that? Would you rather that I fought endlessly with you, yeah?" asked Deidara, grinning.

I gave him a pained look, "Uh… no."

"That's what I thought, yeah," Deidara paused, "What's your drive in life Kaori?"

I gave a look, then, I answered carefully, "Well… I don't really have one."

Deidara clicked his tongue, "Hm…"

I grumbled, "What?"

"Nothing, yeah… It's just a little sad that a young lady like you doesn't even have all her shit together yet," he replied, grinning sheepishly.

I glared, "Well, it's not like you have it all together either. You said that you didn't have all your puzzle pieces either."

"Yes, that's right, but I have an aspiration. I have something to guide me, yeah. You claim to have nothing."

I couldn't reply to that. What was I supposed to say? Lie and tell him that I wanted to be whatever? I couldn't. Deidara stared at me, waiting for an answer. When he received no answer, he sighed and leaned back in his chair, grinning.

"Point one for Deidara."

"Point one? Since were there _points _associated into this conversation?" I demanded.

Deidara smirked, changing the subject, "Order food, yeah. I'm hungry."

I glared, but got up anyway. Just as I was about to pick up the receiver, the phone blared. Deidara jumped a little, glaring at me. I scowled and mouthed, "It wasn't me!" I picked up the receiver, and calmly spoke into the phone, "Yeah?"

"_We are bringing food. It's about a week's worth. We are sending with the food a kettle that you can plug into the socket that's located on the bathroom wall._"

"… Thanks?"

The ANBU that was speaking hung up. I did the same, still quite confused. I walked back to my chair and sat down, rubbing my temples. This is ridiculous.

When the food came, I thanked the ANBU and then put all the stuff under my chair. It was a box of ramen cups and a pack of chopsticks along with the kettle that the ANBU had promised. Deidara stared at the food, grinning.

"Open one. I'm starved, yeah," Deidara complained.

I sent him a glare, "Perhaps later."

Deidara rolled his eyes, and seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't. Suddenly, he thought of something, and then opened his mouth once more, "You said that you don't want to be a ninja. What do you want to be, yeah?"

I hesitated, but then, in the end I decided to tell him, "I want to be a dentist…"

"A dentist?" Deidara smirked.

"Yeah, a dentist… because I believe the oral hygiene is very important," I muttered, feeling lame.

Deidara shrugged, "It is, yeah…"

I looked up. He's agreeing with me again? I gave him a strange look. "You're agreeing with me again?"

"I don't know what's with you today, but you seem to be making more sense than usual, yeah," Deidara replied with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, "Maybe it's because of my _oh-so-comfortable _sleep."

Deidara sniggered, "You seemed to be pretty sore when you woke up, yeah."

"I was being _sarcastic._"

"Being sarcastic is unhealthy."

I snorted, "What would you know about health?"

"Not much, but I know that being sarcastic is bad for it…"

"…"

Deidara smirked, "Point two for Deidara!"

I ignored him, and decided to prepare the ramen for us to eat. I took two cups of ramen from the large box and two pairs of chopsticks along with the kettle. I hobbled over to the washroom and then turned on the tap water, filling the kettle with the water required. I took the long chord and grabbed the plug at the end, pushing it into the input that was on the wall that the sink was against.

Once the hot water was ready, I poured the required amount into the two ramen cups and used the chopsticks to stir. I stirred mechanically, scowling. Day two and already I was losing grip on my sanity. How utterly pathetic of me. I picked up a cup, holding it out to Deidara.

"… Hello? Remember, handcuffs? And _you _won't let me out, so you have to feed me, yeah."

I glared at him, "… This… is so retarded and degrading."

"Yeah, I know we've gone over that, yeah."

My hands twitched. I was about to slap him, but I calmed myself as quickly as I could, took a deep breath, and said: "Close your eyes."

Deidara looked at me, bewildered, "_What?_"

"You heard me. Close your eyes."

Deidara blinked, "What the hell… feh, fine…"

He closed his eyes, eyebrow twitching. I grinned in spite of myself, scooping noodles out of the cup and bringing it to his mouth, shoving it in. He slurped down the noodles, and opened his eyes.

"So why'd you want me to close my eyes, yeah?" he asked, confused.

I shoved more noodles in his mouth, coming up with a lie, "Because it's amusing."

"Liar, yeah… it's because you think it's 'degrading'," Deidara said mockingly.

I glared, eyebrow twitching, "But it is, isn't it?"

"No… like I said, not many girls get to feed a guy as sexy as me."

I glared, "Just shut up!"

"You're the one who asked a question, yeah…"

"I said shut up!" I snapped, losing it. I took two pills out of the little plastic canister and swallowed them down.

Deidara gave me a strange look, but I didn't allow him to say anything. I shoved more noodles into his mouth to silence him. I successfully managed to get Deidara to eat the noodles within ten minutes without him choking and without once looking him straight in the eye. Like I said; it was utterly degrading.

I sat in my chair with my noodles, eating them with a scowl. Deidara watched me awkwardly, as though he wanted to say something. Annoyed with his silence, I demanded, "What?"

Deidara shrugged, "Nothing, yeah. It's just that it's weird being able to see you."

I scoffed, angrily eating my noodles. I must've looked like I hadn't eaten in months. I quickly finished my food, and then took Deidara's cup and my cup and threw them into the garbage in the washroom. Once I had completed that task, I sat down in my chair and then let out a large breath.

I glanced at the clock. Three o'clock pm. What had I been doing lately? I don't have any structure in my life anymore. Should I begin dividing my days here into units like I had in my normal life? Well, if so, what would my activities be? Watching Deidara? That would take up the whole day, so, that would mean forty-eight units watching Deidara. I shivered at the thought.

What had I been thinking about this morning? Oh yeah, an aspiration. People need an aspiration to keep them going. A "drive" in life. It was something that I was lacking. An aspiration is an essential in life, and is greatly required. It's actually one of the most the most important things in life. And that was one of the things that my life was lacking.

What else was I lacking, other than an aspiration? I was lacking… hobbies. I was lacking talents, things that I was good at. What would a person like me be good at anyway? I remember my dad once saying that I had a reason for everything, so perhaps a social worker? No, I hate dealing with people. What does that have to do with what I was thinking about this morning?

This morning, I was also thinking about how life was like a puzzle, with many pieces. That's right, and an aspiration was just one of the many pieces. I knew that my puzzle had yet to be completed. I didn't even know how many pieces there were in my puzzle, and how many I was missing. I didn't even know the existing pieces that I already had, and I didn't know how to fit them together to create the image that my puzzle was meant to be.

But that's how life is: So confusing and complex, just something that no human being can truly understand unless they've lived their entire life, from beginning to end. From cover to cover. So, was I saying that I won't understand life until I've completed it? Well, that doesn't sound dandy at all. I'll have to die in order to truly understand the meaning of my life. And dying was not something that I planned to do anytime soon.

Once again, Deidara came into my mind. Did he understand life? From his personality, I wouldn't exactly consider him to be wise, but I was curious -as curious as ever. I had questions, and I just wanted something that half-resembled an answer. Just something to grasp.

So, I asked the incredibly stupid question that came out of my mouth, "What's life?"

What a stupid question! What kind of idiot would ask an s-ranked criminal what life was? He didn't know what life was, how could he? But I was sure that he knew how to end life. I bet he could name ten highly affective ways to kill a person in a matter of seconds.

Deidara looked up and gave me a strange look as though I had grown two heads. I suppose that's about what I expected, "What the hell, yeah?"

I blushed, embarrassed, "Never mind! It was an idiotic question. You don't need to answer."

Deidara sighed, "I'll answer, if you want."

I looked up at him, giving him a strange look, but I didn't say anything.

"… Life… life is like…" he paused, frowning, "Life… is… is like… a gigantic tree." he finished lamely.

"A tree?" I questioned out loud.

Deidara nodded slowly, "Yeah… from… a seed, yeah. A seed that stays in the ground, slowly maturing and changing, then beginning to sprout. The roots will protrude from the small little seed and slowly, a tree will form. The tree will start as a little stick coming up from the ground, but it'll get taller and larger, changing as the years go by and gaining new features unexpectedly, yeah… the tree grows to its capacity, and then, one day, will whither from old age, and the leaves will suddenly go dry and the tree will die and get chopped down by a sweaty guy with the axe. He'll chain the dead tree up and then drag it through the mud and then"-

"Okay, okay," I cut him off. "But, isn't that a used theory?"

"I don't think so," Deidara replied. "That's a pretty deep question you asked, yeah…"

I gave him an odd look, "What?"

"You know… You asked, 'what is life'. That's pretty deep, yeah."

I blinked, staring at him with uncertainty. I couldn't tell whether he was mocking me or complimenting me, but in the end, I managed to say, "Thanks…"

Deidara smirked, leaning back in his chair, "So, is that somehow tied with your whole aspiration thing that you were talking about this morning?"

"Sort of… It just came up," I mumbled.

Deidara raised an eyebrow, "What do ya mean, yeah?"

I rolled my eyes, but answered, "Like… an aspiration is an essential in life. And… there must've been other essentials in life that I was missing, and then, I started to wonder"- I stopped to check if he was listening –"what life actually was… and how… how I was supposed to gain all the pieces of my life puzzle to complete… my life puzzle."

Deidara nodded, "Yup, that's definitely deep, yeah…"

"I suppose," I muttered. "But… it's confusing."

"That, too," Deidara replied.

I looked up, to Deidara. Deidara was staring straight into my eyes, and I felt something drop. I don't know what it was, but it felt like my heart dropped and traveled through my digestive system and was slowly getting burned with the acid liquid from my stomach. My stomach twisted, and my heart, which currently felt as though it was traveling through my digestive system, was beating faster than it ever had –or ever should.

His teal, deep blue eyes were filled with the innocence of a child. His skin was pale, yet healthy. His long blonde hair was tousled and was falling over his shoulders thus he was leaning forward. And I… I was mesmerized. I couldn't take my eyes away from his, and I just kept gawking at him.

I blushed, embarrassed about my staring. I hated him! I hated him, didn't I remember? I mentally kicked myself for looking like an idiot. I got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me louder than necessary.

I stood in front of the mirror, at my messy appearance. My hair was messed up, and my clothes were wrinkled. I turned on the tap water and splashed icy water on my face. My face was still slightly pink from the incident earlier.

I pulled at my hair tie, combing my fingers through my hair. I frowned when it was down. It was so long. What were my reasons for having it so long, anyway? When I found no reason, I took a kunai from my pouch and then hacked at my hair. Two inches of hair was chopped off, and I threw the bundle into the trash. I fluffed my hair back. It was at least two inches shorter than it was before. I pulled it back into a low ponytail.

I stared at myself for a few more moments. The area around my eyes had gone slightly black from lack of sleep, even though it had only been two days. I didn't dare think of how dark the rings around my eyes would get after a month.

My lips were cracked and dry. I cursed myself for not bringing lip balm. My skin was pale – hideously pale. Again, I cursed myself for not being a child of the sun. My eyes were so dead. My hair was tangled and messy, pulled into a half-assed low ponytail. I glared at my reflection and licked my lips. Maybe I was dying.

Why had I acted so weird around Deidara? I was supposed to hate him. And then I just gawked at him just because his eyes are so… deep. Something about his eyes made my stomach churn and my temperature fly higher than ever. I couldn't lay my finger on it, but I knew that it had something to do with his eyes… or perhaps it was merely the way that he looked at me. The way that he had looked at me with such intensity… as though he were going to kill me or trying to steal my soul. It's scarier that hell. Okay, that was a lie. Nothing was scarier than hell. Nothing was supposed to be scarier than hell.

I took a deep breath, and then I went outside of the bathroom and sat down at my chair once more. I avoided looking at Deidara.

Deidara gave me a strange look, "What did you do?"

I blinked, giving a shrug of my shoulders, "I cut my hair."

Deidara scoffed, "That's it?"

I looked up, and then sighed and nodded twice.

Deidara rolled his eyes at me, "You're quiet all of a sudden, yeah."

"I've never been the talkative type," I answered.

He grinned, snorting, "I'd say you've been talking a lot with me, yeah."

"Because you're impossible to ignore, and that isn't a good thing."

"Well it seems like a pretty good thing to me. Impossible to ignore…"

I glared at him, "Third thing I hate about you; you never listen to me."

Deidara gave a little laugh, "That's better than the other ones –a lot shorter, too, yeah."

I sighed, looking at the floor. Well, I had run out of things to talk about, so I simply asked a new question: "What's your horoscope?"

"Virgo, yeah. What are you?" asked Deidara, smirking.

I sighed, "Aquarius."

Deidara nodded.

Several moments of awkward silence followed out short-lived conversation. I cleared my throat, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Finally, I found a new topic to discuss, surely one that we haven't covered before, "How does the Akatsuki work?"

Deidara gave me a livid look, "I'm not revealing any of the Akatsuki's secrets, yeah."

I sighed, "No, Deidara. I wasn't going to demand the purpose of your club, but I was merely asking how the Akatsuki functioned. I was asking if you… I don't know, had a room mate. Or ate breakfast with the entire group in the morning. Do you take turns cleaning? Do you sometimes watch movies and all that?"

"So you're merely asking the Akatsuki's daily lifestyle?" questioned Deidara.

I let the words register in my mind. I slowly nodded, "That's exactly what I'm inquiring. You do not have to answer if you are so concerned."

Deidara stared at me cautiously, as though analyzing my brain. I fought the temptation to roll my eyes. He must think that I was a scheming sort of person, but I could care less about the Akatsuki's whereabouts. I had no qualms about telling the Tsuchikage that he refused to speak. I was asking out of boredom. Obviously, Deidara didn't buy it.

He didn't seem entirely comfortable, but he answered anyway, "The Akatsuki rarely has group meetings, yeah. We travel separately," he spoke slowly, thinking about every sentence. He was paranoid about letting out information, "The Akatsuki may be a group of s-ranked criminals, however, we are all human. All ninjas are human, as far as I'm concerned, yeah. Akatsuki members eat breakfast every morning, eat lunch every afternoon, and eat a late dinner. We stop for treats like dango occasionally and we sometimes watch T.V. The only person whom doesn't act human is Itachi, yeah. And Sasori-danna"-

Deidara shut his mouth. I slowly grinned, "Sasori-_danna?_"

Suddenly, Deidara did something that I thought he'd _never _do. He blushed. It was a light pink, but I caught it. Even against his pale complexion, the blush was easy to catch. He cleared his throat, "Uh… my master…"

"Have I heard you say that before?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

Deidara sighed, disgruntled. He tiredly shook his head.

I clicked my tongue, "Good… I thought that maybe I was starting to grow forgetful."

"What's wrong with being forgetful, yeah?" questioned Deidara. I opened my mouth to tell him not to change the subject and pester him more, but I decided against it. I decided that I'd bother him about the master suffix later.

Instead, I shrugged, replying, "Well, plenty of things, I suppose. Being forgetful can just completely screw you over," I paused to allow Deidara to snort, "Haven't you ever forgotten something and then have had to face dire consequences for it?"

"Well… yes, I suppose," mumbled Deidara.

I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded, "So, you understand, somewhat, that being forgetful can sometimes," I cleared my throat, "_screw you over._"

Deidara began to laugh, "Well… being forgetful could help you."

I narrowed my eyes, "How so?"

"Well, say something terrible happened –something bad. Perhaps an unsuccessful mission or a scary moment, yeah. If you're a forgetful person, wouldn't it make all the bad times easier to forget?"

I nodded, regarding his words, "… Yes, it would. But what about all the good times that we have in life? If we are forgetful, then what will become of those forgotten memories? It'd be a shame to lose pleasant memories."

"… Yeah, but when you're living as an s-ranked criminals, pleasant memories are memories that we'd rather not have holding us back," Deidara mumbled.

I looked at Deidara; however I didn't look him in the eye. For a moment, I pitied him. However, I slowly started to realize that it was a _prisoner _that I was sympathizing. No less an s-ranked criminal. A criminal that had blown up half the village a couple of years ago. Although none of my loved ones were harmed, other people's loved ones were lost tragically and it was a huge blow to the village's finances to repair the village back to its regular liveliness.

Ashamed of the fact that I had actually felt sorry for him, I didn't speak again. Instead, I sat there, staring at the wrapper that I had forgotten to throw out. A plastic wrapper from the ramen cup, reading, "Call today and you may have a chance to win!"

Deciding that it was too pitiful to just stare at the ramen cup wrapper, I decided to stare at my hands. On my left hand, there was a band aid on my thumb. I had cut myself while chopping vegetables. On my right index finger, there was a scab from my paper cut.

No matter what I stared at, however, Deidara just kept coming back into my mind. I was tempted to slap him and demand that he got out of my head, but if I did that I'd look like a fool, and a psychopath. I'd also be a hypocrite. I had accused Deidara of being a psychopath when we met yesterday, I vaguely remember. But still, why couldn't I stop thinking of Deidara? Perhaps it's because he annoys the crap out of me. Either that or I'm running out of stress pills.

At that moment, I grunted, popping two more pills into my mouth and swallowing forcefully.

_-- Author's Notes --_

_This chapter really wasn't as good as I had expected. It's longer than my other chapters, but still doesn't have that spark that I had been trying to give. So, I'm slightly disappointed with the way that this chapter turned out, but I suppose its fine. I suppose that means I'm going to have to give one hundred and one percent next chapters, which I'll most likely get out right away._

_Please read and review if you enjoyed, which I hoped you did!_

_This chapter was completed Tuesday, July 08, 2008. I hope you enjoyed._


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

_I do not own Naruto._

_Ahem. Here's another chapter of _Ten Things I Hate About You. _I'm surprised that it received so many votes! So, here I am updating. Thank you for the reviews, anon and signed! Thank you very much! This is for all of my reviewers._

_And yes, I know my last chapter was boring._

_I began writing this on Sunday, July 13, 2008._

_--Chapter 6: In which the temperature rises instantaneously--_

One thing that we all have to accept is that there is a difference between right from wrong. No matter how hard it is to determine, an action is either right or wrong. It cannot be both; otherwise this goes against the laws of nature.

It is a known fact that it is wrong to pity s-ranked criminals that blew up half the village when they were seventeen and when you were sixteen. It is wrong to think that an s-ranked criminal is good-looking. It was _very_ wrong. But I couldn't help but secretly admit to myself that Deidara was indeed quite… nice to look at.

It wasn't like I haven't seen good-looking guys before. It's just that I've never actually _talked _to any of the ones that I saw. I've always thought that they were all stupid, selfish assholes that didn't do anything besides look in the mirror and flirt all day. And I was only _partially _correct. Although I did, without a doubt, hate Deidara's attitude, I knew that he wasn't a selfish asshole. He was just a plain asshole that was really, really annoying. And Deidara has made no real attempt to flirt with me, unless it was done jokingly.

After I finished gawking at Deidara, I thought over it for about a good hour. I finally realized why I was staring at him; he was good-looking. It was a fact, not a compliment. It was a factual observation that I came up with while analyzing Deidara, or, in other words, staring at him. It's rude to stare, but I had every right to in the current situation. I was the guard, he was the prisoner. I could do whatever the hell I wanted to. So, I was sure that Deidara wouldn't question me later about my staring. Or, even better, perhaps he'd even forget about it.

Deidara was an interesting character, and I'd gathered four unimportant facts about him that would surely have the ANBU burst into full-blown laughter. They'd be laughing because I have only gathered the insignificant information that they could've spent the rest of their lives without having to know it. So, basically I sucked at the whole interrogating business, but at least I got some facts.

Fact one was that he got bored very easily, and me being the only other human in the small white room, he usually started talking randomly in the middle of dead silence. Fact two was that Deidara liked to flatter himself. A lot. So it was obvious that he had a high self-esteem. Fact three was that Deidara called his partner "Sasori-danna", which, by the way, hadn't slipped my mind.

I was planning to annoy him with this bit of information later. Fact four was that Deidara had a scope over his left eye. It was removable, I knew that because in the beginning I had thought it was a weapon and took it off from his eye, only to discover that it was completely harmless and ended up returning it. Other than the above, I was certain that was all I found out about Deidara.

And what did I discover about the Akatsuki? I was sure that they'd ask me that one. I nearly laughed as I went over what I was going to reply back. I would probably have to say that I learned that the Akatsuki traveled in partners and rarely had meetings. That would be barely anything. I was certain that the Tsuchikage along with the ANBU would be disappointed in my abilities to do such simple (yet difficult) tasks. But if they did try to put me down, I'd tell them that it was their fault for assigning me that ridiculous mission anyway, after I hadn't been on missions for a couple of months.

Suddenly, I began to realize that the temperature was _rising. _I wasn't really bothered by the heat, because I wasn't wearing very thick clothing. I was comfortable with the temperature, because I personally thought it wasn't warm enough before. I cast a glance at Deidara, realizing there was no way that he'd be able to handle this temperature with the clothes he was wearing.

"K-Kaori…!" Deidara whined, squirming, "It's… too… damn… _warm!_" Deidara growled through clenched teeth. He looked at me expectantly, "Help me take off my cloak, yeah."

I glared at him, "Screw that. I'll just sit here and watch you make a fool of yourself. Undressing you is more degrading than _feeding _you."

"Sadistic whore," Deidara muttered, glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes, "If you think that attitude is going to make me help you at all, then you thought wrong, bucko. I suggest that you start being a little bit more polite and then maybe I'll actually help you."

Deidara glared at me, but groaned, "Fine! What do you want, yeah?"

I tapped my chin, taking all my precious time I needed to think of a condition. Deidara seethed impatiently as I did so. Once I figured out what I'd make him promise, smirked, "Okay. Well then. You _will not _say anything rude. You are _not _allowed to tease me, and you have to promise that you won't _ever _try and escape, period! Got that _Deidara?_"

Deidara blinked twice, "Uh… okay."

I sighed, "Alright then. But remember; no escaping! I have to get you out of your handcuffs. So no escaping! Otherwise… I don't know. Just don't do it."

"Well, if you're going to get me out of my handcuffs, why help me take off my cloak?" Deidara smirked, "That is… unless you really _want _to, yeah."

I blushed scarlet, "You're teasing me! That's it! I'm not helping you anymore."

Deidara frowned, but it looked more like a pout to me. This resulted in me blushing _more. _If that's not wrong, I don't know what is. Deidara whined like a kid, "C'mon! I was kidding!"

"_Exactly,_" I muttered, glaring at him.

He glared right back, "What, did you _want _me to mean it, yeah?"

I blushed once again, "W-what? You know what? Forget this!" I stood and quickly unlocked the handcuffs. I hid the key again, and then watched as he stretched his arms before unbuttoning his cloak and throwing it into the corner. It landed with a loud _thump_.

I blinked, and he grinned at me. He had a fishnet top and black ninja pants. He also wore standard black ninja sandals and _leg warmers… _I think. I don't know what they were called, but Deidara made them look somewhat decent. Deidara plopped back into the small chair, rolling his eyes, "First the lights go off and now the freaking furnace is going haywire. Isn't that brilliant, yeah?"

"It isn't that bad," I muttered in response.

He grinned, "So, you're not going to handcuff me again, yeah?"

I gave him a steady glare, "I _was, _because, as you've mentioned many times before, I'm _paranoid. _But, I changed my mind. First of all, there are no weapons here, and you won't be getting one unless you"- I paused, wondering if he knew that I hid all of the weapons in the bathtub. Deidara rolled his eyes and nodded, and I continued, -"go to the bathroom, so," I cleared my throat, "It'd be completely unnecessary for me to reveal the location of the key just to put the handcuffs on you when there are no weapons within your reach minus the ones that _I _have."

"Why would you need the keys to put the handcuffs on?" asked Deidara. "Don't they just click shut, yeah?"

I glared, waving around the silver handcuffs, "These handcuffs have been around for _centuries. _The cheapskates here won't even get the advanced technology of modern-day handcuffs for the use of those with the misfortune of having to guard s-ranked criminals like _you._"

Deidara smirked, "Well, I don't want to be handcuffed anyway, yeah."

I was suddenly regretting my words. What if Deidara had to go to the bathroom, which was bound to be sometime today? Then what the hell was I supposed to do? Perhaps I should have the ANBU come down and retrieve all of his weapons. Yes, that's a good idea. I stood, walking toward the phone directly behind me. I didn't hesitate to dial "0". The phone didn't ring once and an ANBU picked up the phone, the same monotonous voice that always answered, "_ANBU squad member. Code name Dragon. How may I be of assistance?"_

I almost rolled my eyes, but I replied anyway, trying to sound as though I wasn't ready to scoff at the ANBU's obvious lack of personality, "Ahem. Uh, I confiscated all of my prisoner's weapons. I'd appreciate it if someone came down to retrieve them so they are not within his reach."

"_You're from the s-ranked room, correct?_"

"… Yeah," I answered.

The ANBU seemed to be thinking about something. It was very unlike a person of such a high ranking to take so long to think. However, he answered, "_Done._"

The ANBU hung up, and I did the same. I rolled my eyes. Well, obviously this one was an idiot. I looked toward Deidara, glaring as much as I could muster, "Okay, you'll have to pretend that you have handcuffs. Otherwise you're going to be stuck in a room like this with an ANBU who probably wouldn't hesitate to kill you if you did something as little as sneeze."

Deidara nearly rolled his eyes, but pretended his hands were handcuffed behind his back anyway, "I'm not scared of the ANBU, yeah. They're scared of me. They're lucky that they have the upper hand in the situation, otherwise their blood would be splattered all over the"-

I cut him up with a "SH!" as I heard a gentle knock at the door. I opened the door too see an ANBU standing there, clearly a female. She was taller than me, and seemed a lot older by the sound of her voice, "I have been sent to take away the weapons of your prisoner."

I saw the large bag that she had in her hands, and I allowed her in, closing the door. I told her that the weapons were in the bathtub, and she nodded and collected them quickly and efficiently. She was gone within three minutes. Deidara relaxed as the door closed softly behind the leaving ANBU member.

"I can't believe she didn't notice how warm it is in here!" Deidara muttered with a scowl.

I uncomfortably shifted in my seat, "Well, she's ANBU! It's expected," I sighed, "I thought you mentioned something about once being an ANBU yourself, right?"

"Yeah, but that was… hm… three years ago, yeah. When I ditched this place. I still have the tattoo, yeah."

I rolled my eyes, "Should I explain that tattoo's are permanent? Or should I define what the word permanent means? Or both?"

Suddenly, I remembered that Deidara's hands weren't handcuffed. I froze, anticipating a hit. However, all I heard was a scoff, "It's not like I'm stupid, yeah. No need to be all snappy, yeah."

I blinked, and I couldn't help but ask, "You're not going to try and attack me?"

Deidara answered, "I'll attack when I have a better plan. So far, all my weapons are gone, while you have a sword and a whole bunch of other supplies with you, yeah. It wouldn't be exactly wise to try and escape in the current situation."

Note to self: don't leave a weapon within arm's reach of Deidara. I sighed, rubbing my temples, "Maybe I _should _handcuff you."

"No!" Deidara muttered. He pushed back his long hair. I stared at it, noticing that it was at least two inches longer than mine. If I hadn't cut my hair, maybe it would've been the same length. Oh well.

Deidara pulled at his half-ponytail, and then placed his hair tie between his teeth. I watched curiously as Deidara pulled all his hair into one, high ponytail. He twisted his hair tie around the bundle of hair quickly. I noticed that he still had his bangs covering his left eye. I raised an eyebrow, "Why keep your bangs? Doesn't that make it… a little… warm?"

Deidara blinked, "I like it, yeah…"

I groaned, popping two pills into my mouth. I ignored Deidara's loud whistle.

"Wow, what's with the pills, yeah?" asked Deidara, staring at me suspiciously.

I glared at him, grumbling under my breath, "High blood pressure."

Deidara clicked his tongue, "I wonder if Sasori-d"- he glared at me when I snickered –"_Sasori _has that, yeah…"

I grinned, "Well, maybe… he might. It sure as hell isn't a good thing. He must be one grumpy bastard, right?"

"That'd be an understatement," muttered Deidara. He blew a strand of hair out of his right eye, grinning at me.

I nodded, and then decided not to drag the conversation on. Instead, I decided to use the few, valuable moments of temporary silence to do some thinking. Thinking that was greatly required if I wanted to satisfy the Tsuchikage with the outcome of this mission. I tried to think of something to think about, but I couldn't think of anything to think about. That barely made sense, but to me it did. I had nothing to think about, so what would I think about?

There was always Deidara. I averted my gaze to the ground, preferring not to meet his gaze once more and embarrass myself like I had last time. Well, I guess that Deidara wasn't that bad. He had been talking with me a lot. I don't think I've ever talked to a guy as much as I had with Deidara. But it was strictly business! There was not another reason that I talked to him so much. Well, I guess there was. He always talked randomly in the middle of dead silence, as I mentioned earlier. He just couldn't keep quiet for too long. I guess that I didn't mind too much. It gave me something else to do besides sit there and pretend I'm not bored.

Being bored was something that I was greatly used to. It was almost part of me. Pretending to not be bored was something that I did on a regular basis. Every day, I would be completely and utterly bored with every activity that I thought about. So, I'd just pretend I wasn't bored and did things that really weren't enjoyable, but they were things that'd benefit me in the future.

I would usually flip through history books. Eventually, my parents had taken the hint that I was bored and offered to request missions, but I insisted that I was having a lovely time studying the village's history. I was shocked when they believed me. But, my parents don't even know my favorite color, so it wasn't as surprising as it _should've _been.

Being someone who pretended to not be bored, I rarely got the thrill of surprises. In my entire life, I'm sure that the most surprising thing that happened to me was my first crush. My first crush was a subject that comforted me whenever I thought about it. It was a time in life where I wasn't bored. Where I didn't need to mask anything. I vaguely remembered admitting that I liked him during spring, and I remember him hugging me. I remember how my friends had been happy for me, and how they congratulated me. We stopped liking each other when we were thirteen. And even though we had liked each other, we never had been boyfriend and girlfriend.

And, besides that, I've never had a crush on anybody. I've been a lone wolf since. I can't say that I haven't taken the time to appreciate a guy's looks every once and a while, but I also can't say that I'm a boy-crazy bimbo that saunters around the village in what could pass as a bathing suit. I was just not searching. I was just waiting for the right time. But, I was nineteen already, and I haven't even found someone. I wasn't getting any younger, but I just didn't want to get into that sort of thing.

"So, what exactly are the ANBU thinking, keeping me here, yeah?" asked Deidara suddenly, eyeing me curiously.

I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest. I decided to lie, "Well, I'm not exactly sure," I paused, and then decided to add _some _honesty, "… Okay, well… the thing is… I'm really bad at this whole 'ninja' thing. This is my first mission in months. So… the Tsuchikage-sama just randomly had some ANBU come up to me and… he gave me this mission. They didn't really give me the details, so I'm just about as confused as you are."

Deidara smirked, "I guess you aren't that strong then, yeah."

I rolled my eyes, "Gee, thanks… that makes me feel so much more secure with my abilities."

He rolled his eyes, "I didn't mean to _insult _you… it's just that you seem uncomfortable, yeah. And you're paranoid. If you were a highly skilled ninja then you probably wouldn't have been stressing out over this whole thing as much as you have."

"Well, aren't ninjas supposed to be aware? And always thinking beyond what they can see?" I asked, a scowl spreading onto my face.

Deidara smirked, leaning forward, "Yeah, but they're also supposed to know how to mask their emotions."

I flushed, "… I… I hate you."

"Evidently." he paused. He obviously was trying to figure out what to ask next to strike up a conversation, "So, how long are you going to be here, yeah?"

I sighed, rubbing my temples, "Well…" I inwardly wondered if I should tell him. In the end, I decided it would be okay, "… a month."

"You look unsure," Deidara remarked. He raised an eyebrow, "Are you lying?"

"No. I just don't know if it's okay to tell you that sort of information," I muttered. It was the truth. I decided to ask, "… Why are you being so…" I rummaged through my brain for the right word, "… _un-Akatsuki _like?"

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Didn't I tell you that I was forced into the Akatsuki, yeah?"

"Oh, yes. That's right," I mumbled, fiddling with a kunai. I had taken it out just a moment ago, and I was bored. But it shouldn't have looked odd, since I was the guard. But if a person randomly walked into the room, they wouldn't know who was who. Deidara didn't even have handcuffs!

He smirked at me, "If you're telling the truth about you staying here for a month, then I should get to know a little bit more about you." He cast a glance toward me and saw my confused expression, and he rolled his eyes, explaining further, "I'll be here for a month, according to you. So, since I'm going to be spending so much quality time with you, I might as well know some more about you, yeah."

I narrowed my eyes, "And how do I know that this isn't a joke? Or your sick scheme to find a way to murder me to make it easier for you to escape."

Deidara scoffed, "I don't need that sort of information to kill someone, yeah. I'm just bored."

I shrugged, "Alright. If you say so." I was still unsure about whether or not this was okay to give out personal information, but it seemed quite fine to me. Besides, it wasn't like I was giving out a village secret. I don't even _know _any of the village secrets. "What do you want to know?"

"Uh," Deidara looked up, thinking, "Hm… what about… well, what's your favorite color?"

I gave him an odd look, "First of all, what do we look like? Ten-year-olds? And second of all, didn't you ask me that already?"

Deidara thought over it for a moment, "… Not that I recall…"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course you wouldn't. I can't believe I even bothered asking."

He glared, "Well, aren't you going to answer?"

"… I guess it'd be green," I mumbled. This was so degrading! No one's asked me my favorite color since I was what, ten? Eleven? I didn't even remember, it was that long ago. And now I had to answer it and I was nearly twenty. No, I was _practically _twenty. And I'm being asked this by someone who _is _twenty.

Deidara clicked his tongue, and said, "I like blue."

"Is that why your ring said 'blue' on it?" I asked, blinking at him.

He scoffed, "No. I was given that ring. I just got lucky to get one that said my favorite color, yeah."

"Ah," I mumbled. "And do you have any more childish questions for me?"

"Yes," Deidara said smugly. "Why the _hell _are you wearing sneakers? Isn't that for… civilians? Like, you know, _non-_ninjas, yeah?"

"… _No. _They didn't say it was necessary to wear ninja sandals all the time! And besides, those things make the most irritating sounds whenever I walk in them. How people do stealth missions with those shoes I'll never know. They're annoying. And besides, I like my sneakers."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Okay, here's another question then. Why don't you style your hair?"

"Why _bother_? I could care less what people thought of me. It's not like I'm going anywhere, anyway. I don't need to look pretty just for one damn mission," I narrowed my eyes at Deidara, "but apparently, you've never thought of that and went to look pretty anyway."

"Hey, hey!" Deidara muttered, "I like my hair like this, yeah."

I narrowed my eyes, "Whatever."

"Why do you hate being a ninja, yeah?" asked Deidara, eyeing me with curiosity.

I shrugged, "It's boring, pointless. No fun. I hate the training. It takes to much energy. I don't like fighting. I've always been a person with _peaceful _nature. I don't believe in destruction."

"Ugh, don't tell me that you're one of those hippies that go around wearing those lame clothes and proclaiming about peace and love, yeah," Deidara muttered, rolling his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes, "No. I'm not. And just so you know, I've never thought of them as _hippies… _they're just people who believe that violence isn't the answer to making the world a better place. And, in a sense, they _are _right. Since when did violence solve anything? All it did was kill billions of innocent people!"

"So you _are _a hippie," Deidara said with a smirk.

I glared, "Okay, that's enough out of you. You're lucky that I'm not even handcuffing you… asshole."

"Oi! We all know who's stronger here, even if you are the guard, yeah," Deidara pointed out, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest.

If he were fat, I wondered, would he still be able to cross his arms over his chest like that? I imagined Deidara with a giant, protruding belly attempting to cross his arms over his chest. I almost laughed at the mental image that my thought brought. So, would that mean he was _pregnant? _I shuddered at the mental image _that _thought brought, and then decided to drop the subject completely.

"You awake, yeah?" asked Deidara, narrowing his eyes at me.

I blinked, quickly replying, "Oh, right. I nearly forgot that I was talking with you."

"Whatever," Deidara muttered. "So you're not going to reply?"

"Yes, I am going to reply. You may be stronger, but I have a _knife. _You have _nothing. _You have no weapons. Zilch. Unless that mystical, magical scope of yours has laser beam, although I highly doubt that," I answered, crossing my arms over my chest and rolling my eyes.

"For one thing," Deidara began, "It's called a _sword_, yeah."

I grinned, "Actually, it's a _katana._"

"Same thing, isn't it?" Deidara rolled his eyes before adding, "Do you know how to use it?"

I blinked, blushing a little, "Well, I was trained to wield it, obviously, as I have it in my possession." I patted the sheath of my sword. "So, yeah, I do know how to use it. Have you ever tried wielding a katana?"

Deidara frowned, "Nah. I've never liked swords, yeah… It isn't very artistic. I'd rather be more creative when killing my opponent."

"Why be creative when you could just end it within five seconds if your opponent is weak? Isn't that the goal during a fight? To kill the other as quickly as you can and get the hell out of there?"

Deidara scoffed, "You say that as though you've actually _killed _before, yeah."

I blinked, averting my gaze to Deidara's hand. I don't know why I looked at his hand. Maybe it's because I was thinking along the lines of, "these are the hands that killed so many people" or something like that. I then looked at my hands. I've never killed a person before. Unless you could bugs as people, then I haven't killed a thing. I was an innocent little bag of sunshine, some people might say (although I don't think of myself as that).

I swallowed, answering Deidara's question, "… So maybe I haven't killed anyone. And I'm rather proud."

"You're a _ninja. _You're supposed to kill, yeah. That's what we're trained to do," Deidara muttered.

I glared, "Didn't I tell you that I didn't want to be a damn ninja? I don't like the job, so obviously I'm not going to be all enthusiastic about it, mister bang! So leave my personal experiences in the battlefield out of the damn conversation. Why don't we talk about yours instead? How many people have you killed? A hundred? A thousand? A _million_? Well, why don't you share it with me? Don't worry one damn bit; I won't get bored at all!"

"Calm down, Kaori," Deidara said rolling his eyes, "There's no need to get all worked up over it. I was just pointing something out. You really need to learn to control your anger."

I blinked, blushing. Shit, he's right. I never really did know what to do when you were so hell bent on being right just to get burned in the end, so I just apologized all the time, "… Sorry… I guess you're right."

Deidara smirked, leaning back in his chair, "Point three for Deidara. Geez, you're so boring, yeah… you could at least try to get points."

"There aren't any points… Since when did we earn points?" I asked, aggravated.

"… When someone wins an argument, yeah," Deidara answered, smirking.

"That was an argument?" I asked.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Well, obviously… what did you think it was?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure."

After I said "I'm not sure", I didn't speak again, neither did Deidara. Instead, we sat in a heavy silence for an hour or so, barely even glancing at each other. This was the perfect example of an awkward moment. It was one of those uncomfortable silences where you wanted to say something, but you didn't know what to say so you didn't say anything and let the silence go on and on. All participants of the awkward silence waiting for someone else to say something. However, no one would make a move to break the silence.

Deciding not to be one of those people that don't want to break awkward silences, I tried to forge something to say. Perhaps I should make a remark about the weather? No, there aren't even windows here. The only window is the one in the bathroom. Maybe I could ask him some questions now? Since he did ask me all those questions, so I guess it'd only be fair.

"… Um, what were you planning to do if the Akatsuki didn't force you in?" I asked, unsure of what I was doing.

Deidara blinked at me. Maybe he was wondering why I was starting the conversation instead of him. Even though he still seemed surprised by my sudden talkative attitude, he answered, "I was planning to become a traveler, yeah…"

I raised an eyebrow. Becoming more comfortable, I asked, "Why did you want to be a traveler?"

"Because it's fun to travel all over the place, yeah… and I'd get to use my art if I wanted," he answered, smirking.

"Oh," I mumbled, fiddling with a kunai again.

Deidara changed the subject, "So, Kaori, why are you suddenly talkative? Usually I'm the one to start the conversations, yeah."

I shrugged, "Well… the silence was sort of awkward, so I wanted to break it. So I just thought that maybe I could just start asking you random questions to make the silence a little bit more comfortable. I think that it worked."

"Yeah, I guess it did," Deidara agreed.

I nodded, then changed the subject again, "Why are you so obsessed with being artistic?"

"Because art is a bang," Deidara answered, grinning.

I shivered, "Art is a _bang._ I know it's meant to mean that art is fleeting, but _still._ It sounds gross."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Art is meant to be fleeting, something that's there for one moment and then disappears with a gigantic explosion, yeah. That's true art. Art is supposed to be there for one quick moment, only to be lost in the past seconds later. But the seconds that it _does _exist, it's truly beautiful."

I blinked as he finished, "So… wait, you're saying that a toothpick is beautiful?"

"… What's with you and toothpicks, yeah?" muttered Deidara.

"What? I'm just asking! So, you're saying that art is fleeting, and that art, which is fleeting, is beautiful as long as it is around, so you're saying that any object that can be destroyed is art and you're calling everything that can be destroyed beautiful?"

Deidara gave me a strange look, "A toothpick isn't beautiful, yeah."

"But it's fleeting! So that means that art _isn't _fleeting, because you say that art is beautiful and then you claim art is fleeting. But toothpicks are fleeting and then you're saying that it's not beautiful, meaning that art isn't fleeting!" I argued.

Deidara gave me a confused look, "Do you even know what you're saying? Because I sure as hell have no idea, yeah…"

"Well, I'm just saying… you're just contradicting against yourself…"

"I just know that a toothpick isn't art, yeah… it just isn't," Deidara muttered.

"But it's _fleeting_," I muttered.

Deidara grinned, "It's my philosophy, and so, I'm allowed to say that a toothpick isn't art, even if it _is _fleeting."

"… Damn you toothpicks can't be an exception. That's just plainly retarded."

"You're just upset because I just got myself another point. Point _four _for Deidara."

I gave him an odd look, "Why'd you say 'four' twice?"

"Point four _for _Deidara. F-O-R. _For_," Deidara spelled it out for me.

I flushed, not knowing what else to say.

Deidara smirked, leaning back in his chair, "Point five for Deidara."

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Aw, that was so fun to write. I should've made it longer, but I just wanted to get chapter six over with. I didn't have any more ideas for conversations, but I think it turned out alright. I was starting to go a little stupid when I was writing this chapter and starting thinking that "For" wasn't a word. I'm pretty sure it's a word, because the spell check doesn't put the red doo-dad beneath it. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a word._

_I finished this chapter on Sunday, July 19, 2008. R&R! I love reviews. I admit. Hehe. :P_

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

_I do not own Naruto._

_Here's another update for my favorite story so far, but this chapter's really short. But next chapter's gonna twist your brain. _

_I'm trying to improve, I have no idea if I am or not. Yeah, so far it's going pretty smooth. So far, there's more humor than there is romance. I have no idea how I'm going a smooth transition from "being annoyed with Deidara" to "really liking him". So far she's admitted that she thought he was good-looking… so I guess it's all good._

_I began writing this on Sunday, July 20, 2008. Please review if you enjoy this chapter!_

_--Chapter 7: In which Kaori is an oddity--_

I was beginning to lose track of time. I might've already spent a month with Deidara and I wouldn't know. My best estimate would've been at least a week and four days. Eleven days, two hundred sixty-four hours. All we did was talk with each other all day, eating three meals a day. We eventually ran out of ramen and then had to eat oatmeal. The ANBU also revealed a secret plug in the wall and brought a table, a microwave, and oatmeal, easy Mac, and ramen. I moved the mini kettle to the table as well.

It had been boring, even though I had Deidara to keep me entertained. I occasionally paced around the room in fear that I'd forget how to walk, ignoring Deidara's comments about how paranoid I was. The furnace was fixed and the room was cool once again, much to Deidara's relief. All in all, nothing really exciting had happened, not that I expected anything interesting to happen.

I was sort of glad that the days were going by quickly and smoothly. Aside from the fact that Deidara was utterly annoying and was always nit-picking me, I supposed that we got along quite well. We talked to each other most of the day, even though most of our conversations were arguments. Whenever Deidara claimed he won an argument, which was all the time, he always declared the amount of points that he had in total. I didn't really mind. He could get a million points for all I cared.

I started to think about the first time I ever really spoke to Deidara. It was a couple of weeks before he decided to blow up half the village. I was walking carelessly, I vaguely remember, and I was passing him while he was sitting under a tree. He was painting a miniature sculpture. I don't remember what the sculpture was supposed to be, but I do remember saying, "cool sculpture," and him just mumbling a "thanks".

We didn't really _talk. _It was more like me giving a stranger a compliment. In fact, that's exactly what it was. I doubted that he even remembered me saying that. So, I decided that I wouldn't ask him if he knew it was me. It's not like it _mattered _anyway.

I sighed, sipping at my coffee that I had asked an ANBU to drop off. It was a little bit too sweet for my taste, but I could care less. I've been deprived of my favorite drink for far too long. I took large gulps, ignoring the questioning looks that Deidara gave me.

"Caffeine isn't good for you," Deidara told me.

I looked up from my coffee, rolling my eyes at his obvious statement, "Drinking caffeine isn't nearly as bad as killing a million people a week."

Deidara blinked, "… I don't kill a million people a week, yeah. Hell, I haven't even killed one hundred people, yeah…"

"Liar. You bomb places that could have one hundred people, and I haven't killed one. And then you scold me for drinking coffee," I snorted.

"Do you want a point for that?" muttered Deidara, rolling his eyes.

I grinned, "Yes, in fact, I would."

Deidara rolled his eyes again, "Fine. Thirteen points for me, one point for you. So far, I'm winning, yeah."

"Of course you're winning. Even if I did win more arguments than you, you wouldn't give me the points out of immaturity and the desire to win your own ridiculous, childish games," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Do you think I'm that childish, yeah?" asked Deidara, frowning, "How can you think I'm childish? I'm _twenty_."

I scoffed, "Yes, I'm aware, but sometimes, if not all the time, your maturity is comparable to that of a three year old. And that's bad coming from me, because I'm younger than you."

"By a _year_," muttered Deidara.

"Yes, but still, you're older than me and you're setting a _terrible _example for those who are younger than you."

"Well you should learn to respect your elders, yeah," Deidara retorted, smirking.

I glared at him as viciously as I could, sneering, "_I hate you._"

"Point fourteen for Deidara," he said, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair, a smug look plastered to his face.

I couldn't wait until the month was over, then I'd be able to get the hell out of here. I only had two weeks left, and that was really good. This'd be all worth it, because once I tell my parents who I was guarding, then they'd be off my back about missions for a long time, hopefully forever. Then maybe I could quit this ridiculous ninja charade and learn to be a dentist.

Speaking of dentists, I haven't been brushing my teeth at all. That's disgusting. And I've been eating the same cheap food. I wondered vaguely if the ANBU would bring down a toothbrush and toothpaste for me if I asked them to. I glanced at all the stuff that they brought down for me, and then decided that they would. It was almost like staying at a hotel, only I was with a criminal that would probably kill me. And I didn't get a bed.

"So, Kaori, have you ever been on a date?" asked Deidara randomly.

My eyes widened, and I blushed madly, "What the hell type of question is that?"

"I don't know, yeah… I'm bored; humor me," said Deidara, teetering back on his chair and closing his eyes.

I glared, blushing furiously. How was I supposed to answer such an embarrassing, personal question? "… Uh, no… I haven't."

"… You are so deprived, yeah," muttered Deidara, rolling his one visible eye.

I frowned, "I'm not deprived; I just choose not to go out on dates because I'm not interested in stuff like that!"

Deidara smirked, "Okay, Kaori, remember when you were raving about the 'life puzzle' stuff? And how you said that you missing pieces? Well, going on a date is probably one of the ones that are missing, yeah…"

"I thought you said that love was a lie wrapped in ribbons to look more appealing," I shot back, narrowing my eyes.

"I didn't say anything about love, yeah. I was talking about dates," Deidara answered.

I glared, "Are all men pigs? Seriously, the whole point of a date is to go out with someone that you like. I don't like anyone, thus giving me no reason to go out on a date. Ever."

"Like is the first stage that leads to love, yeah. Who gives about it? No one cares about all the emotions involved, they just want the date."

"What makes dates so special if you don't even care about the person that you're going out with? That's just messed up and… just plain wrong," I muttered, still glaring. Deidara simply rolled his eyes (well, I only saw his visible eye) again.

"Dates are fun, yeah," Deidara answered, smirking at me.

I scoffed, "They aren't fun with no point behind it. I'd hate to think about all the poor girls that have ever gone out with you."

"I don't, yeah… If you're going to go out on a date you might as well pick the best-looking person you know."

"My God you're such a pig," I muttered, "I'm not even going to bother asking how many dates you've been on."

Deidara grinned, "Well, you haven't been a date so obviously you've never had a boyfriend, right?"

I glared, "What happened to 'marriage is like signing contracts to forever live as a slave'? Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is two stages below that. It goes boyfriend, fiancé, then marriage! You're just contradicting against what you said -again!"

"Marriage and love are totally different from girlfriends or boyfriends and crushes, yeah. Marriage and love are serious. But all the other stuff is just fun, yeah," said Deidara with a shrug, "Don't be such a grump."

"So how many girlfriends have you had, Deidara?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. I didn't know why I asked. Maybe I was just interested in what he was going to say.

Deidara thought about it for a moment, "… At least twenty-five, yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Just to say this; you're such a damned pig."

Deidara glared at me, and I smiled, sipping my coffee with satisfaction.

"Point two for Kaori," I said.

"I can't believe you're suddenly interested in earning points, yeah," muttered Deidara, fixing his half ponytail again.

I shrugged, "I don't care about the points -It'd be so much fun to see you lose a game that you have created."

"That's sadistic, yeah," he muttered.

I scoffed, "At least I don't find joy and 'beauty' in killing poor, innocent people with clay bombs. _That _is just the psychopathic sort of sadistic. Tell me; are you a masochist as well? Because you did say you were going to go out with a _bang… _and no matter how disgusting it sounds, it does mean that you want to blow yourself up, right?"

"If I'm going to die, I'm going to die in an artistic way," Deidara stated, pulling his bangs back and taking off his scope to clean it, revealing his other eye. My God he's cute. I inwardly kicked myself for thinking that.

"Oh…" I trailed off, staring at him, "That's cu- I mean, nice."

Deidara gave me an odd look, "What were you about to say, yeah?"

I glared, "Nothing."

"Aw really Kaori! What were you going to say, yeah?"

"I was going to say 'that's curable' but it isn't so… yeah," I muttered. I was actually going to say 'that's cute' but I wasn't going to tell him that. So now I sounded like an idiot. A demented, lost idiot. And that was fine. Anything's worth avoiding pure embarrassment.

"Hm…" Deidara mumbled, closing his eyes and running his hand through his bangs.

I felt self-conscious, even though Deidara had his eyes closed. I was with him for almost two damn weeks, for the love of God. I should be able to handle this. But for some reason, I felt a little queasy. This mission, I knew, was going to be a real pain but I didn't think that it was actually going to be _painful. _It's not that I liked him or anything. I hated him. But still, after basically living with him for eleven days and knowing that he's going to die at the end of the month is a little sad. But I didn't like him. No, it wasn't like that at all.

Who was I kidding? Yes, I liked him, but I still hated him. I hated him because I liked him. This was supposed to be a strict, business-like mission. I wasn't actually supposed to become something resembling _friends _with the person that I was guarding. But who could blame me? Deidara was really good-looking, and he was nice. He didn't escape even though I let him take off his handcuffs and blindfold, and he always kept me entertained. But I hated him.

I narrowed my eyes, remembering why I never went on dates. It was for this reason. I needed to do my job, not worry about Deidara. But still, he was one of my few friends that I've had in my miserable (at least from my perspective) life. And now he was going to die just because he's a criminal. Wait, what the hell was I saying? He blew up half the damn village and killed so many damn people. One of them was even from my Academy class! And yet that didn't affect me at all.

I must be such a sad little girl to be so desperate as to end up having a ridiculous crush on a criminal hailing from _the _Akatsuki. Was I really that pathetic? Yes, of course I was. There wasn't one other girl that I knew, no matter how boy crazy, that would dare crush on Deidara. I must've truly been insane.

Well, at least it was just a crush. Had it been anything more, I would've been completely and utterly screwed. No, make that _fucked. _I'd be completely and utterly _fucked. _So, I decided that I would eventually get over my little crush by the end of the month no matter what. That was the beauty of crushes; once you decide that you've had enough of it, it just goes away. No pain, no problems.

I was truly terrified of getting boyfriends because of all the crap that they put in magazines about girls getting "heartbroken" and then committing suicide in the most dramatic, unnecessary ways. It was sickening and utterly terrifying. Those women, I was positive, were quite sane. And I, quite frankly, was on the borderline of insanity. So, if one nasty breakup could get a girl to commit suicide, what the _hell _would it do to me? Make me a masochist?

I closed my eyes, trying to maintain my composure. I wasn't going to cave in now. It was almost over anyway, and I was desperate to just get the mission over with. They should've at least not have assigned me to stay here twenty-four seven. Didn't they know a thing about emotions? Oh right, ninjas didn't have emotions. So this wasn't their fault, it was mine for not being properly prepared.

"_Oh God…_" I muttered, covering my face. So this means if I have a cow when Deidara gets executed it'd be my fault? "_Oh God, oh my God…_"

"Please don't tell me it's your time of the month, yeah," muttered Deidara, rolling his eyes, "That's the last thing I need."

I glared at him through the gaps in between my fingers, "You know what? Shut up. And _no._ If it's really so interesting for you, that was last week."

Deidara scrunched up his face, "Ugh. I really didn't need to know that."

"Then you shouldn't have brought it up," I muttered, rubbing my forehead. Maybe I should ignore him, so that I can at least cut off this little charade right away. Before the end of the month, if possible.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Whatever, yeah…"

"Do you want to make me pop a vein vessel?" I demanded, swallowing two pills.

He smirked, "Nah. It's amusing to see you come close though, yeah."

"Sadist," I muttered.

"Hippie," Deidara countered.

I glared, "Why do you always have to argue with me? Can't you just leave me alone?"

Deidara scoffed, "If you were so annoyed about the fact that I was arguing with you constantly then you wouldn't even bother to reply, Kaori, yeah."

I sniffed, "Fine. Then I won't talk to you."

"Sure."

I closed my eyes. I wished that I could fast-forward time. Something told me that I really wouldn't be able to handle Deidara's death. Something told me that Deidara's death would totally screw me up. So, I told Something to shut the hell up. I _was not _going to be affected by Deidara's death. I _was not _going to interfere with these confidential matters. I _was not _going to say anything to Deidara about this. I _was not _crushing on Deidara. I _was not _going to talk to him anymore.

I was a liar –that was for sure. As soon as Deidara talked to me, I started talking to him again.

"What is up with you, yeah?" muttered Deidara, rolling his eyes.

I glared at him, "Something that doesn't concern you in any way. Do continue your fiddling."

Deidara smirked, "Aw, you can tell me your secrets, yeah. It's not like an s-ranked criminal such as myself would spill all of your secrets." Deidara grinned as I narrowed my eyes even further.

"There's the fourth reason I hate you. You're so rude. It's like you can't have a civilized conversation at all. You always just have to add in one of your snide, cheeky comments. Even if it has nothing to do with the main subject, you'll add it in anyway, because you're _that _rude."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "I still don't think that you can come up with ten, yeah. What is there to hate about a person as wonderful as me?"

I glared, "Oh, and you just added reason number five. You think that you're all that when you're _not. _You're so obsessed with your art and you're just so confident. It's just so… annoying!"

"God, learn to relax," muttered Deidara.

"Learn to shut up," I countered, rubbing my temples in annoyance.

Deidara muttered, "Feh."

I didn't reply afterward, but instead decided to sort myself out. I hated Deidara, but for some reason I really didn't want him to die. Maybe it was just me and my insanity. I was really an oddity. Why couldn't I have just been a normal girl that knows when and when not to like a guy? Why couldn't I just be normal?

I should've just quit being a ninja, and then I never would've met Deidara. I would be continuing my miserable life and following my daily planner and measuring my activities out in units like I'm supposed to. I just simply wasn't cut out for this sort of work.

I wondered briefly if Deidara thought I was crazy. I sighed, frowning slightly, "Deidara, do you think I'm crazy?"

Deidara smirked, "Am I supposed to answer that honestly, yeah?"

I frowned, looking down slightly. I hated my life, "I don't care. Just answer."

"Yeah," Deidara said, grinning widely.

"You know what I don't get about men? They can just be total jerks and then not give crap about it at all," I mumbled, looking at the ground.

Deidara shrugged, "It's just because women are too sensitive, yeah. You could say one little thing and they'd be crying their eyes out. It's stupid, yeah."

"So is that why men are always picking on girls? Because we're sensitive? Men are such bastards. I'm probably never going to meet a guy that doesn't make fun of girls for being sensitive."

Deidara scoffed, "That's easy. All you have to do is walk into a gay bar, yeah."

My eyes widened, "… You walked into a gay bar before?"

"Well, I didn't know until guy tried to grope me, yeah. After that I think I blew the place up, but I'm sure there are more gay bars around."

"Oh my God, wait a minute. You're saying that _gay men _are the only guys that you think wouldn't make fun of girls for being sensitive?"

Deidara smirked, "Yeah."

"… You know what? You're an ass. If I were a mantis, I'd be eating you right now."

"I read about that, too. But, a female mantis only eats the male while they're _mating_, yeah. So you're saying that we'd be mating?" Deidara leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and smirking suggestively.

I blushed, not knowing what to say.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "That's point fifteen for me, yeah."

"I think that you're evil," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the clock.

"Because I _am _evil, yeah," replied Deidara.

"I noticed," I muttered.

I suddenly realized that I was itchy. Maybe it was because I haven't showered in forever? I glared at the floor. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Deidara was here, un-handcuffed. What if he escaped while I was in the shower? Maybe if I showered quick… wait, no. But I wanted to take a shower so badly…

I decided to ask, "Deidara, would you try to escape if I took a shower?"

Deidara quirked an eyebrow, "How would I escape, yeah? I have no key and no weapons."

I sighed, "You're right… okay. I'm just going to get the ANBU to bring down a towel or something."

I walked over to the phone, calling up the ANBU to bring down a towel. He sounded unsure when he agreed, but came down anyway with a towel. I thanked him awkwardly and closed the door behind him, locking it. I walked toward the bathroom, stopping suddenly.

"There's no lock on the door, so you better not come in," I warned.

Deidara muttered something inaudibly and I walked inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I took off my clothes and quickly hopped into the shower, not really caring that it wasn't warm. Deidara wouldn't escape, right? He wouldn't do that. He had been nice the entire time, so I didn't think he would.

After I had put my clothes back on and hid the key in my shirt again securely, there was a knock at the door. I froze. I slowly opened the door, and I was surprised to see Deidara there, looking down at the floor.

"Deidara, what are you"-

I was cut off when he walked up to me, and kissed me full on the lips.

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Oh, and trust me,__**it's not what you think**__. It may seem very random and a little fast… but… argh! Wait for the next chapter before you quit reading my story. That's all I can say without spoiling it. _

_Not really proud about this chapter. I wasn't sure how I was going to make this any longer. But next chapter's going to be a little bit more romance. And it's a little dramatic, but the way I wrote it is more… angry? I'm not really sure, so you're going to be the judge once I post it. __ I'm very excited about the next chapter, because I started writing it and I just wanted to get this one over with. The next one's coming soon! _

_Please review! Even though this chapter sucked, please review! You all rock my socks._


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

_I do not own Naruto._

_There's a major twist coming up for those who didn't quit reading my story. Trust me, I think you'll be at least a little surprised. Unless you can read my mind. If so, get out of my head! Ha! Kidding. Anyway, hope that this chapter is enjoyable for you. Because I know I'm going to have a kick in the pants writing it. _

_--Chapter 8: In which everything changes except for one thing--_

Oh my God. He was kissing me. And for some reason, _I was not going to stop him. _I felt bad. I felt really bad. I felt like I was sinning, and I probably was. _I was kissing an s-ranked criminal. _I wondered foggily if it'd be bad for me to admit that he was a really good kisser and mentally kicked myself.

I gasped for air, putting my hands on Deidara's shoulders. I was originally planning to push him off of me, but of course I wasn't going to do that. He slipped his tongue inside of my mouth, to my disgust. And yet I could've cared less. I closed my eyes, melting into his arms. I didn't care when he pushed me up against the sink. I didn't care when his hands slipped underneath my shirt (even if I should've).

He stopped kissing my mouth and began kissing my neck, and I clutched onto his shoulders. I was so stupid. I furrowed my eyebrows. What the hell was I doing? No, what the hell was _Deidara _doing? Suddenly, I felt Deidara's hand closed around the keys.

My eyes snapped open when I felt him take the keys from underneath my shirt. He pushed away, panting slightly. His fingers curled around the key, and he smirked weakly. I didn't say anything to him as I gaped.

For many moments, we stood wordlessly, both panting. I couldn't believe the bastard kissed me. And I couldn't believe that I had let him! I even let him put his hands under- and that leads to… No. I just couldn't believe it.

Finally finding my voice, I swallowed the saliva that had gathered in my mouth and said as calmly as I could, "You son of a bitch."

Deidara smirked at me weakly before disappearing. He reappeared behind me and began unlocking the small lock on the bars. I glared at him. Before thinking, I tackled him and pulled him to the ground. With a loud thump, I landed on my back onto the white tile of the washroom. Deidara glared at me as he tried to get up.

I suddenly remembered all the traps that were outside and the strings that were almost invisible. And I also remembered how his scope was for long range observation. This may be my last chance to stop him from escaping. Narrowing my eyes, I pulled him down and peeled the scope off of his left eye, hiding it in my shirt and wrapping my arms around myself.

Deidara scowled at me, "Give that back Kaori."

I glared, "Make me, you lying bastard!"

He lunged at me, trying to take my sword from its sheath. I pulled his hair and took out a kunai, making a move to stab him. He saw it right away and grabbed my wrist, so I kicked his leg. He must've gotten annoyed, since he took the kunai out of my hand and lodged it into my side.

I grabbed my wound, "Shit!"

Deidara quickly jumped to his feet. Deciding that escaping was more important than his scope, he finished unlocking the bars and threw them to the ground. He pushed open the window, stopping to look over his shoulder and smirk at me, "… another point for Deidara, yeah."

"Fuck you," I muttered, holding my side. Deidara jumped out of the window.

I struggled to get up, but I managed to stand up on my feet and limp over to the window, all the while clutching my side. I peered out of the window, and saw that Deidara had been impaled with dozens of needles as well as a couple of shuriken, but none in vital places, passed out on the ground. The alarms blared, but I ignored it all.

I felt tears threatening to come out of my eyes. The bastard. With one hand, I rolled him over. His hair covered his eyes, and he looked as though he were sleeping. I coughed out blood, and my vision began to get blurry.

"… Point three for Kaori."

After that, I passed out from blood loss, though luckily I didn't get impaled by one of the needles stuck in the grass.

-x-x-x-

I opened my eyes, but then closed them as soon as the sun's rays blinded me. I opened my eyes once more, blinking a little bit. Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I opened my eyes completely, sitting up and looking around the room. I was in a hospital. Questions flooded into my mind.

How the hell did I get there? Was it a sick joke? Where the hell's that bastard?

I rubbed my head, feeling sick. I remembered how Deidara pulled that sick trick on me, and how pissed I got. And how I hid his scope in my shirt. My eyes shot open, and I looked down at what I was wearing. I was wearing some baggy, very skimpy hospital dress. Suddenly pain racked through my body, and I clutched my side. With a loud groan, I fell back onto the pillow.

My clothes were gone, I had no idea where Deidara was, and I failed my mission. Well at least I had gotten over my crush on Deidara. That bastard. I couldn't believe that he'd manipulate me like that. I should've seen that one coming, I guess. If I didn't like him so much, I would've had the strength to push him away! Damn me! And how the hell did he know that I liked him? How? I never told him.

There was a gentle knock at the door. I pulled the covers over my head. I heard the door open and then close. Footsteps walked toward me at a steady pace, and someone placed something on my side table.

"Kaori-san, are you awake?"

I peeked over the covers, blinking at the person that had entered. It was the Tsuchikage. I sat up, fiddling with the blanket with my hands, not looking at the item that he brought. "What can I do for you, Ryuu-sama?"

Ryuu wasn't wearing his hat, and his short, brown hair was tousled and sticking up. He smiled weakly, "How's your injury?"

I shrugged slightly, finding it hard to be respectful toward him in my current state, "its fine…."

He nodded, "We know that you put up a fight, and we'd like to know how he managed to steal the key from you in the first place. He refused to tell us."

I looked up, struggling to hold back the blush that almost made its way to my face. There was no way in hell that I'd be able to tell him the truth. I looked down again, fiddling with the blanket, "I… I was… bathing and he somehow got out of the handcuffs and… and stole the key that I was hiding in my pocket."

Ryuu didn't seem convinced, and I inwardly kicked myself for making up such a horrible story. But there was no other way that I could explain how he wasn't handcuffed and why he didn't have a blindfold. And there was no way that I was telling him how Deidara really stole my key.

My head was still down, but when I looked up again, Ryuu was holding out an object to me. I looked at it, and realized it was Deidara's scope. My eyes widened.

"What do you know about this?" asked Ryuu seriously.

I took a breath, "That's Deidara's scope. He uses it for long-range observation. I… took it from him so that he wouldn't see the strings that triggered the traps."

Ryuu nodded, sitting back in his chair, "… What else did he tell you?"

I looked up again. I didn't know anything! But I couldn't just say that. "He… he finds beauty in explosions."

"Did you not discover anything else?" asked Ryuu, looking up at me hopefully.

I bit my lip. I looked down and shook my head. I felt something being placed on my lap. It was the scope. I looked up to the Tsuchikage, sending him a questioning look, "I… I do not understand."

"You may keep this. He will want it back, and he won't suspect that you have it," he said, smiling weakly once more, "I'm sorry that I asked you to guard Deidara. I didn't think that he'd be able to escape so easily."

I was so weak, that was why he escaped so easily. Because I wasn't good enough for the mission. Lowering my head slightly, I asked quietly, "Where is he now?"

The Tsuchikage seemed surprised at my question, "He's in the room right next to this one."

I blinked, "No one's guarding the room?"

The Tsuchikage looked down, "… That's part of the reason I came here. You see, my other Chunin have been sent away two days ago for training to become Jounin. You were going to go after the month was over. All my Jounin are on missions or are training with their Genin squads. My ANBU are scattered across the country, and the ones that are here are either guarding the prison or tending to other matters. I have two ANBU at each of the hospital exits, but I don't have enough to watch Deidara."

"… I don't understand, Ryuu-sama."

Ryuu looked hesitant, but then asked, "… would you like to guard him in his hospital room? I've put him on chakara control so that he can't use any jutsu. I should've done that when you were guarding him at the prison, so for that I apologize."

I bit my lip, then began to nod slowly. It'd be a good chance to give him a piece of my mind. But for some reason, I always end up in the worst circumstances. I'm practically a failure ninja that never gets any missions, and then randomly they set me up with the craziest, possibly hardest job –guarding the village traitor. And then he almost escapes from me, and then I get both myself and him hospitalized, and they want me to guard him anyway? Coincidence? I think not.

I had no idea what I could've done in my past life to deserve all of this, but I was really, really sorry.

He nodded, and then stood, "I'm going to check up on him now to ask him a few questions. A nurse will arrive shortly to release you from your room and bring you your clothes and weapons. After that, you may go to Deidara's room. Take care, Kaori-san."

With a nod, he left the room, closing the door behind him. I sighed, examining Deidara's scope. Feeling more curious than usual, I brought the scope to my left eye, peering through. I gasped. It was… really cool.

I brought my hand to the side of the scope, pressing a small button. The scope did some sort of zoom-in sort of thing. I saw a dead bug in the top right-hand corner of the room, along with a spider web on the window sill.

Deciding that I've played with it enough, I peeled it off. There was another knock at the door and the nurse came in, carrying my clothes and weapons. She smiled at me, "How is your wound?" she walked over to my bed and put my clothes down, "I've heard that you're going to guard Deidara. Do you feel well enough?"

I nodded, "Yeah… thanks."

The nurse smiled brightly, leaving the room with a small nod. Once she left, I quickly changed into my clothes, and strapped all of my weapons on properly. I combed my fingers through my hair and stretched. I winced. No, I shouldn't have stretched.

I pocketed the scope, leaving my room. Once I was in the hallway, I walked toward the door that was next to my room. I took a deep breath, my hand hovering over the knob. Oh crap, what was I going to say? Well, he was probably unconscious anyway.

I turned the knob, and the door opened with an over-exaggerated creak. Inwardly cursing the damn door, I awkwardly stepped into the room, taking in whatever was inside.

There was simply a large bed right in front of me, where Deidara was laying down on. There was nothing else in the empty white room. All of the curtains were drawn, and the room was utterly dark. I paled I closed the door behind me.

I slowly tip-toed toward the bed. Once I reached his side, I took out the scope. Like I had guessed, I could see Deidara's face. He looked like such a child. Wait, what was I saying? Shut up Kaori! Shut up, shut up! He may be adorable when he's sleeping but he practically raped you.

I scowled at the thought. My first kiss and it didn't even mean anything. Well… it meant something to me, but not to the person who gave me it.

Suddenly tired of having to use the scope, I moved the curtains to the side, and light flooded the room. I cringed slightly, but quickly got used to it. Since there was no chair, I sat down at the edge of the bed. It was really big, and he was only using one side. I watched him as he slept.

"Lying bastard," I muttered to him.

I realized that a strand of hair was in his face. For some reason I really wanted to push it away! No, Kaori, don't. But for some reason, I didn't listen to myself. Instead, I gave in and pushed the stray strand of blonde hair behind his ear. After realizing how stupid I was, my hand snapped back to my chest.

I watched in horror as Deidara stirred, his eyebrows knitting together. Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open, but he squeezed them shut when he saw the light. He slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. I noticed the bracelet on his wrist. That must've been the chakara control device.

Deidara turned his head, looking at me. He smirked weakly, "Hey."

I glared, resisting the urge to hit him, "That's all you have to say?"

He blinked, "What… oh right, yeah…"

"You freaking bastard!" I shouted, tackling him. I straddled him, holding his shoulders and glaring at him as intensely as I could muster.

Deidara glared at me, roughly pushing me off of him and grabbing one of my kunais. I landed on my feet, drawing my sword and trying to look as threatening as possible, but I was most likely failing horribly. It was then I noticed that Deidara was wearing his normal clothes, minus the cloak.

He spun the kunai on his index finger a few times. I glared at him, jumping toward him and attempting to cut his arm off. He easily dodged and sent a punch to my stomach, sending me flying back. I swore under my breath and coughed up a bit of blood before rushing at him with my sword again.

Deidara twisted my wrist and pushed me against the wall, kunai to my throat, "… Kaori, give up, yeah…"

I coughed more blood, "Damn you…! I hate you for… doing what you did. Damn you to hell!"

Deidara smirked, "You're such a liar, yeah…"

"What the hell do you mean?" I demanded, glaring at him.

"You probably liked it," Deidara said smugly, grinning at me. I glared at him. Damn him for being able to read my mind!

Not thinking, I pushed him away and tackled him to the bed again. Even though I had him pinned, he had a kunai to my heart. He glared at me, threatening me to do anything. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my side.

I winced slightly, grabbing my side. Damn it. I rolled off of him and laid down in the empty space beside him, wincing in pain. I decided not to take out the scope and play with it while Deidara was awake. He might get mad at me all over again.

There was no point in staying mad at him. He may be on chakara control, and he may be really weak at the moment, but I wouldn't be able to get mad at him, get revenge, or kill him. The Tsuchikage would be pissed to the maximum with me and demand why I had killed him, and then I wouldn't know what to say because I wouldn't be able to admit that Deidara kissed me, because I had already lied about his escape attempt.

"Try anything like that again, and I'll kill you," Deidara said. He groaned when I didn't answer, "If I said I was sorry will you stop acting like a kicked dog, yeah?"

"No," I muttered. A bad habit that I developed over the years was that if I get mad at someone, I'd sulk about it. "I'm not the biggest girly in the world but I do know that what you did was plain sick."

"I was trying to escape," said Deidara, sounding annoyed. "You would've done something like that, yeah."

I glared, "No, I would not do that! That's just… invading other people's personal space and playing with feel- I mean, luck."

Deidara blinked, and then a grin spread across his face. He leaned toward me, "You were going to say _feelings, _yeah."

I blushed, "N-no! I wasn't going to say _feelings _you imbecile!"

He smirked, moving so that he was closer to me. He leaned over me, "Kaori, do you like me?"

I gasped, going beet red and rolling off the bed. As I was climbing onto the bed, I stopped my movements when I heard Deidara laughing. I looked up at him. He looked so… nice. I flushed once more, taking a seat on the bed once again. I watched him laugh. It was so genuine and the sound was like… music. I was so busy watching Deidara laugh that I didn't bother to pay any attention to the stinging pain in my side.

It had to stop. Right there. I couldn't believe that I was forgiving him already. Maybe it's because, aside from all the stabbing, I really enjoyed kissing him? Yeah, that was it.

Deidara stopped laughing, and smirked at me, "So, Kaori, do you? You can tell me, yeah…"

"Well what do you think? After our little brawl we had just moments ago I'd like you? Yeah right…"

"That isn't answering my question, yeah," Deidara said with a smirk. "Answer."

"Well actually," I said, inching away, "I can't tell you…"

"Why not, yeah?" demanded Deidara.

I shrugged, "I dunno, maybe it's because you might use it against me again?"

"Again?" questioned Deidara aloud. "What- … You do like me."

Deidara poked the back of my head, causing my eyes to widen slightly. I muttered, "What do you want, Deidara?"

"Turn around, yeah," said Deidara. I rolled my eyes, then crossed my legs and began to turn around. Soon, I found myself face-to-face with Deidara, his face centimeters away from mind. I turned red as he said quietly, "Boo."

I gasped and almost fell off the bed again, but this time Deidara caught me with both hands, laughing again.

"You're way too easy, yeah," Deidara said, grinning. "I should get ten points every time."

I glared, "Okay, that's it. I'm leaving."

As I was getting up, Deidara grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to the bed. I glared at him, opening my mouth to say something, but he cut me off, "Aren't you supposed to be guarding me? What happened to paranoid Kaori, yeah?"

"It left as soon as you," when I said 'you' I poked him in the chest, "kissed me in the prison. I lost my first kiss, so what else to I have to lose?"

Deidara scoffed, as though I was telling a horrible joke, "Your virginity, yeah."

I turned red again, "How the hell would you know if I lost my virginity or not?"

He raised an amused eyebrow, "Have you?"

"No!" I said, seething and beet red, "Sick minded ignoramus."

Deidara laid down, his hands behind his head. He turned his head toward me, "Do you want to lie down?"

I glared, "God knows what's going to happen when I lay down again. Just so you know, I don't have a key that will get you past all the ANBU guarding this hospital up my shirt, so you better not try anything."

"I thought you weren't paranoid anymore, yeah… or are you lying?" Deidara smirked as I frowned.

"I wasn't," I said through clenched teeth. "I'm just going to close the curtains."

Deidara smirked, closing his eyes. I stood up and closed the curtains, then hesitantly lay down beside him, turning my head away from him. Last time I lay down beside him was a moment of weakness. My wound was hurting last time, so I just had to do anything to make it go away.

"Damn it!" I cursed, grabbing my side. I felt the bed shift, and I could tell that Deidara was rolling over.

"What?" asked Deidara.

It was pitch black, so I didn't see a thing. I decided that it'd be best not to move out of my position, "Stay on one side of the bed, and I'll stay on this side."

The bed shifted again, and I could tell that Deidara had gotten closer, "Why should I, yeah?"

"Because thanks to your little game of 'stab Kaori', I have a really deep cut in my side. You come over to my side of the bed, and you're most likely going to hit it," I said, cringing. I checked to see if there was still more room, then moved over a little more.

"Or are you just scared of me, yeah?" asked Deidara.

I scoffed, "Well, when someone who's had to live with you for pretty much two weeks and still doesn't hesitate to stab you, I think that's enough of a reason to be pretty scared. You could've really killed me back there if you had decided to stab me in my stomach or my heart…"

I heard Deidara sigh, "If I said sorry"-

"No, and I'll _never _forgive you." I was such a liar, wasn't I? Inwardly, I had already forgiven him. But I'm just not going to tell him that I'm okay with it, because I shouldn't be.

"Seriously? There's absolutely nothing that I can do to get you to forgive me, yeah?" asked Deidara, seemingly baffled.

I suddenly felt dampness on my side, and I gasped, jumping out of the bed, landing on the floor once again with a thump, "Shit!"

Light flooded into the room as I heard the curtains fly open. My eyes widened as I realized I was soaked in blood. Deidara was beside me, "Where's the wound?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, "I'm holding my hand against it… ah! It hurts, for the love of God…" I lay down on the floor.

"Don't move Kaori," said Deidara. He lifted me up bridal style and carried me to the bed. He gently placed me on the bed, pressing the white blanket against my open wound. I knitted my eyebrows together at the stinging sensation. I was _almost _painful enough to cry about, but not quite.

"I'm going to bleed to death," I panted, closing my eyes.

"I lost an arm before, and I lived, yeah," said Deidara, still holding the blanket to my wound.

"What..?" I muttered, eyes still shut tight.

"I'll tell you more about it if you don't die, yeah."

I cracked open my eyes, desperate to distract myself from the unbearable pain, "Deidara, why are you h-helping me anyway?"

"It's my fault you even have this wound, yeah?" he asked. He gave me a small, reassuring smile, "Sorry …"

I blushed, turning my head away. I guess I wasn't over my crush on Deidara just yet, obviously. Because that little smile that he gave me made me melt inside. I closed my eyes, the pain becoming more unbearable than it already was. With nothing to distract myself, I simply passed out.

-x-x-x-

When I woke up, I was still in the hospital room. I glanced to the floor, where the blanket was. It was soaked with blood. I vaguely wondered where Deidara was, and then heard soft breathing coming from beside me. I turned my head to the other side, and realized that Deidara was lying beside me, fast asleep.

His chest rose and fell as he breathed. He looked so peaceful. It was way better looking at him with natural light rather then through a small scope. I wonder who his girlfriends were. I doubted that there was any girl that would be able to stand out next to him. He was just… too good looking.

I sighed, sitting up on the bed, cringing slightly. I looked down at I was wearing. Dry blood stained my clothes. Well that's nice. Now I'm bloody Mary. I rolled my eyes and walked toward the door. There would have to be a bathroom somewhere in this damned hospital.

Once I left the room, I closed the door gently behind me. I walked quickly through the halls, scanning the doors. Once I saw one that looked like it'd lead to the washroom, I darted inside. Luckily, I had guessed correctly and ended up in a washroom.

I locked the door behind me, and then looked in the mirror. Saying that I looked hideous would be an understatement.

My hair, which was supposed to be light brown, had darkened to its natural shade from lack of sunlight. My skin, which was already pale, now was the epitome of "where the sun didn't shine". My eyes had dark bags beneath them and my clothes were soaked with cold blood and plastered to my skin.

I cringed at my reflection, but then remembered why I had originally come. I reached for my shirt, lifting it up slightly so that I could wash out the wound. I hissed in pain as I lifted up my shirt. Once my wound was revealed, I realized that there was only blood around it, yet no blood actually coming out of it.

I bit my lip, turning on the sink. I splashed some water onto my wound, wincing once more. After that, I turned off the tap and pressed some toilet paper against the cut. After the cut was dried (after a very painful procedure), I examined the wound. It was really, really deep. I didn't think that it was too serious though, seeing as I did die of blood loss yet.

Feeling satisfied, I limped back to Deidara's room, surprised to see that he was sitting up.

Deidara raised an eyebrow as I sat down on his side of the bed, since my side was covered with blood, "Where'd you go, yeah?"

"I went to look at my cut," I muttered, holding my wound, "It's pretty bad. You stab too damn hard."

He smirked in response, "Why are you on my side, yeah?"

I glared at him, pointing to the blood stain, "Because the other side is soaked with blood."

"But you're soaked with blood, too," Deidara pointed out, rolling his eyes, "You should get new clothes, yeah."

"How can I do that? I can't just leave again, because you'll escape and when I try to stop you you'll go all 'stab happy' on me again like last time," I muttered.

Deidara smirked, "I only stabbed you once, yeah… you should be glad it was just once, too. If I stabbed you any more, then you'd be dead, yeah."

I scoffed, "Should I also thank you for taking advantage of me?"

"Yes, actually, you should because you and I both know that you enjoyed it, yeah."

"I did not! I just didn't know that you were going to steal the key," I said defensively, my face heating up again. Deidara grinned at me.

"So you mean if I didn't steal the key and I just continued, you'd let me?"

I flushed, "… _No._"

Deidara scoffed, "Yeah right. I get another point."

"Why do you keep bringing it up? I want to forget about it, and you're not really helping," I snapped.

"Why do you want to forget about it so much, yeah? It wasn't even that big of a deal," said Deidara, laying down and closing his eyes. He smirked slightly, "You're so uptight, Kaori."

I scowled as I watched him drift to sleep again. The chakara draining device must be making him tired. I looked down at my clothes. Deidara was right –I should probably get new clothes. I'll just go ask if I could borrow a nurse's outfit or something.

I stood up, holding one hand to my cut. I looked around the bed for one of those nurse buttons. Finally, I found one on the bedpost. It was right above Deidara's head. I walked to Deidara's side and pressed it with ease. There were footsteps in the hall. A nurse entered the room.

She was a middle-aged woman. She gasped when she saw me, "Oh my… What on earth happened?"

I awkwardly shifted on the spot, "Well, I had this deep cut on my side and it reopened while I was guarding him." I pointed to Deidara.

The nurse nodded, "Well, I'll have to wake him up to change the sheets… well, as for you, would you like to borrow a nurse outfit?"

"Uh, yes please," I said. The nurse smiled.

"I'll come back with your clothes and the new sheets," she said before turning around and leaving, closing the door behind her. Within minutes she returned with the promised items. She also brought a fold-up chair. She handed me the clothes and set up the chair beside Deidara's bed where there wasn't blood, placing the sheets on top. Magically, a cloth appeared from her pocket and she cleaned up the blood on the floor.

She smiled at me apologetically, "I apologize I can't stay to change the sheets. I am needed elsewhere. But," she took out some bandages and handed them to me, "here, I brought these for your cut. If you need new bandages, press the nurse button and I'll make sure to come."

I thanked her, watching as she left. Nice nurse.

I sat down on the floor. I held the bandages awkwardly. Okay, so now what? I wasn't exactly the greatest with medical supplies. I could barely work a band-aid, and she expected me to know how to bandage up a wound on my _side? _I sighed, lifting up my shirt slightly to reveal my cut. I began wrapping the bandage around myself, but the stupid gauge wouldn't wrap tight enough. Either that or I just wasn't doing it properly.

Someone chuckled in the back round, and I immediately pulled down my top and glared over my shoulder at Deidara, who was sitting on the bed and snickering at me, "I'm so glad you find my misery amusing."

Deidara motioned for me to come toward him, "Is there anything you know how to do properly, yeah?"

I glared at him, "Ha, ha, funny. Kaori doesn't know how to do anything." Despite all that, I stood and awkwardly sat on the bed beside him, handing him the bandages. "I don't care anymore. I'm going to die before the end of this mission, anyway."

Deidara rolled his eyes, taking the bandage and lifting my shirt up. I jumped off the bed, glaring at him.

"What are you doing?!" I demanded. Deidara rolled his eyes.

"The thing that you can't do, yeah. Sit down and be a good patient before I change my mind about helping you, yeah," said Deidara. I glared at him, sitting down beside him once more. He pulled up my shirt slightly and wrapped the bandages around me, tying it together.

I examined the way he wrapped my torso critically, "You make fun of me? It's not like you're the greatest doctor either."

Deidara grinned at me, "Whatever Kaori, yeah."

My mouth twitched, and I quickly stood up with the clothes I was still holding, walking out of the room and back into the bathroom that I found earlier. I closed the door behind me, looking into the mirror. Everything changed; Deidara's officially as evil as everyone says, I hate Deidara more than I did before, and we're in a hospital and both wounded. But one thing hasn't; my stupid, annoying, pointless crush on Deidara.

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Wow, so long. Anyway, I hope you liked the last chapter, which was really boring. I think I took the romance too far in this one, and I don't really like this chapter. Not proud at all of my work so far. I think I started making Deidara OOC… I don't like it._

_Well anyway, if you liked it, please review!_


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

_I do not own Naruto._

_Ah yes, the OOC Deidara problem… actually, I sort of planned it to happen, since I knew that the whole hospital part would just be more fun if I could make him a little bit out of character, but as soon as he's in the prison again, he goes back to normal. It's a little hard to explain, but I'm trying to give Deidara a really "easy to piss off when you say/do certain things" sort of person. So, let's just say that Kaori hasn't really said or done any of those certain things yet… :P_

_--Chapter 9: In which Kaori makes some very bad decisions--_

I've always thought of myself to be quite mature and very non-ambitious. I have no big dreams or quests. Had I been in a serious battle with an opponent stronger than me, I'd most likely just give up. If my aid was needed somewhere in battle, my first thought would be, _are you bloody serious_? I was useless, basically. I didn't believe in being a ninja, and I wasn't the type of person that'd keep getting up once they were knocked down.

It just wasn't me. So that was when I made my decision: Deidara was on chakara control, so it wouldn't be a problem to take him back to the prison and guard him the normal way. I talked to the Tsuchikage about this, and he had allowed me to do so. With the help of ANBU members, we managed to knock Deidara out do to chakara loss and bring him back to the prison.

"You can go change your clothes if you want," said the Tsuchikage, looking as though he was trying not to laugh at my nurse outfit. "And get any supplies that you may need. After you are done gathering fresh supplies, you can go to the prison. Here's the keys. I found them on the ground where you were unconscious," The Tsuchikage reached into his pocket, pulling out a remote control of some sort. "And here is the chakara control remote. You hit this button," he pointed to the one with the minus sign, "to reduce the amount of chakara that is taken from Deidara and this one," he pointed to the button with the plus sign, "To increase the amount."

I nodded, taking the keys and device. Once the Tsuchikage dismissed me, I went back home right away. I needed to get some more stress pills, and perhaps some sleeping pills as well. I also briefly wondered if I could also get anesthetics. I sighed as I walked home. It was already night, so I had missed the sun. Maybe I should get a Calendar as well, so that I could mark off the days. It'd be a good way to get a good laugh out of all the days that I've survived.

Deidara was way nicer than he usually was in the hospital. But then again, he was probably weak from getting stabbed with all those needles. I was hoping that as soon as I got to the prison he'd be back to normal. Normal, sadistic arsonist, weird Deidara that always blabbered about his art, got annoyed for stupid reasons, called me names whenever he didn't get his way, and freaks me out with his smirks.

As soon as I reached my house, I took the key from its hiding place under the mat and entered the home. I peered inside, barely recognizing the layout that was once so familiar to me. I sighed, closing the door behind me. I removed my sneakers, and walked up the stairs. I went straight to my room, looking through my drawers. I filled up my small, orange container up on more stress pills and then went to my closet.

First, I changed into more suitable clothing. I changed into dark, navy-blue knickers and pushed them up just below my knees. I changed into a black mesh top and threw on a large, light green sweater that was baggy and too big for me. I didn't zip it up and I didn't pull up the gigantic hood.

I rummaged through the boxes of stuff, looking for the scroll that I had called "my secret weapon" back in my late-Genin days. Once I had finally found it, I pulled it out with a satisfied grin. I took a kunai out of my pouch, biting my thumb and writing on the scroll. The scroll was given to me by this old man on one of my Genin missions. Apparently the guys on my team were too "irresponsible" to take care of it, and I agreed.

The scroll was basically to summon any weapon that I wanted or needed, but just one. Carefully, in my blood, I wrote down, "bow and arrow". I had no idea how to use one, I admit, but I was hoping that when the moment was right, I'd figure out how to use it. Once I was satisfied with what I wrote, I rolled up the scroll and stuffed it into my pack. Then, I pulled out a band aid and wrapped it around my thumb. Most ninjas act like it's nothing, but really, it stings like hell.

Suddenly, a photo slipped out of the box. I picked it up, examining it. Oh right, it was me, in my Genin days. My hair was short and I was a little chubbier back then. I smiled at the memories. But then I realized that I was wearing my forehead protected around my neck. I blinked. Oh, right, that's how I liked to wear it.

I pulled down my forehead protector so that it hung loosely around my neck. After I had all my supplies, I left the house and made my way to the prison again.

-x-x-x-

I was standing in front of the s-ranked door, filled with anxiety. I kept on fumbling with the keys and trying to reassure myself that I'd make it alive through this mission. But, as I was walking here, people must have noticed I was going toward the prison and kept on loudly saying stuff like, "Oh, I heard Deidara was there" and "Poor child, going to die at such a young age at the hands of that sadistic arsonist!"

If there was some sort of backup in case I didn't make it, I probably would've ran home and called in sick. Unfortunately, that wasn't the way things were done in the ninja life. I had no choice but to face my fears. But if it were up to me, I'd be having a bubble bath right now with my rubber ducky.

I groaned, telling my right hand which held the key to quit trembling. Finally, I managed to rather clumsily turn the key and trip into the s-ranked room. If there was one thing I never failed to do, it was to make myself look like a downright idiot when I was trying to make a good impression. At least there was something I did properly.

After I pulled out the key and closed the door behind me, locking it securely, I looked around the room. It had been updated a little bit, I noticed. There was a small sleeping bag rolled up in the corner, which I assumed was for me. The table and all the stuff we had before was still there, but was now organized. There was also a note pad and pen there, which I guess was for taking notes. Then, my eyes trailed to Deidara.

I realized that he was still wearing his regular clothes, and was unconscious as he sat in the chair. Instead of the armless chair he had before this chair now had arms, and his wrists were strapped with what appeared to be _hair. _I blinked, then to experiment to see how strong it was, I tugged at my hair. I blinked. I had never realized how strong hair was until now.

Well anyway, Deidara had his forehead protector pulled down over his eyes as a blindfold. I grinned. We were back at stage one. I bet I could pretend to be someone else, and he wouldn't even notice. I blinked. I didn't have to be me. I could be… whatever, no, _who_ever I wanted to be. A grin spread across my face. I walked toward the table and picked up the notepad and pen, sitting down in my own wooden armchair which was directly across Deidara.

I began writing down all sorts of female names. Midori, Ren, Haruki… What else? This was my chance to temporarily have a name that wasn't as girly as Kaori. I tapped the end of my pen against the wooden chair in frustration. What about Yuki, Maruko, Mari. Mari! That name wasn't as girly as Kaori.

I beamed, stuffing the notebook and pen in my pouch. From that moment I was Mari… Mari Maruko. I wasn't Kaori Takahashi any longer, and it pleased me.

I watched as Deidara began to stir. A familiar sight, but it looked slightly strange because he was so immobile. I snickered slightly, and then his movements came to a complete halt. I could tell he was trying to glare through his forehead protector.

"Who are you, yeah?" he asked, voice more menacing than I've ever heard it. I cleared my throat.

"Mari Maruko," I said, my voice slightly lower than usual. I grinned at myself, "I'm here guarding you."

His demeanor had changed instantaneously, and as I breathed through my mouth, I realized I could taste his anger. He was pissed, for some unknown reason. He was _seething. _He was so angry, and I had no idea why. If I were Kaori, I'd ask what his problem was. But I was Mari Maruko now, so I was just going to watch him get angry.

Maybe it was because that the ANBU tied his wrists down with _hair_ and put him with a new guard that probably wouldn't free him and let him take off his blindfold. It was like when kids get a substitute sensei in the Academy. Whenever they get a substitute that's way better and more fun than the original, they always get upset when they're gone. So this would mean that I was the cool guard?

Well, let's make Mari the very un-cool, boring, and bitchy guard. I grinned, taking out the remote and hitting the plus button several times. Deidara began panting, scowling, "You little bitch, yeah…"

I cleared my throat, almost starting to get why Deidara was so sadistic. It was a little fun, but I still wouldn't blow people up with chakara clay bombs. "So tell me, what are the Akatsuki's intentions?"

Deidara was seething. He definitely was pissed. I've never seen him quite this pissed. In the beginning when I first met him, I came pretty close. But it was probably because I kept on bothering him about the Akatsuki and how I kept trying to bother him. Since then, I don't think I've ever tried to piss him off. But this time, I think I could piss him off: and live to laugh about it.

Deidara probably wouldn't find this funny, since he was really, really, really mad. I almost thought that he'd break out of the bonds and kill me, but the hair was way too strong. Well, in that case, he'd probably break the chair in half just to kill me. No wonder he blew up half the village when people tried to stop him; if Deidara was this pissed off and was fully equipped, I wouldn't go near him. I guess that the other people in this village didn't know that he got angry so easily.

I guess I wouldn't say easily. I guess he only gets pissed when you take down his ego or try to stop him from getting what he wants. Sort of like Reiko from the Academy. Whenever someone would say their doll was better than hers, she threw the biggest tantrums. It was amusing, but also incredibly petty.

I decided that in case Deidara did wake up, I had better be ready. I thought back to my Genin days. The henge-no-jutsu. How was that done again? I think… it was tiger… no. Uh… yes, it was tiger. I nodded to myself, forming the seal. I thought about what Mari would look like. _Henge._

There was a puff of smoke. I had done it! After the smoke had cleared, I stood up, walking towards the washroom. I looked into the mirror. Mari had straight, black hair came down to her collar bone and was layered. Her eyes were green, and her skin was pale. On her cheeks she had faint freckles. She was an inch shorter than I was. She was wearing what I was wearing. I grinned. Deidara would have no idea it was me. Hopefully I wouldn't run out of chakara.

I walked out of the washroom, sitting down in the chair. I was officially Mari Maruko. I reached into my pocket, pulling out Deidara's scope. I grinned, putting it to my left eye and looking around the room. I closed my right eye, and then used the scope to look around the room. The room was just as clean as it was without the scope. With a sigh, I took of the scope and fiddled with it in my hands.

I took out the notepad again, speaking up, "Are you going to answer or what?"

"I'm not an idiot," Deidara growled, "I'm not giving out information on the Akatsuki to some random bitch, yeah…"

I was slightly taken aback. Maybe I wasn't expecting him to call me, well, Mari, a bitch. I got angry, "Well excuse me for trying to do my job. It isn't like I enjoy talking to some random _bastard_."

Deidara was getting angrier, "I could kill you if I wanted to, yeah."

He was trying to scare me, I knew. It wasn't going to work, at least not this time. I couldn't see his facial expression, so it helped. He looked so vulnerable, and I felt butterflies building up in my stomach. No! I had to concentrate, otherwise I might mess up and I'll accidentally deactivate my henge! "Not in your position you can't."

Deidara snarled, "How the hell did I get here anyway, yeah?"

Someone really didn't like getting moved randomly. I guess I'd feel the same way, but really, Deidara really did not pass out on the right side of the bed, "Well," I paused to clear my throat to stop my laughter, "we knocked you unconscious to take you back to the prison."

He scoffed, obviously being a sore loser, "They knew I could've killed them if I was awake, yeah…"

I blinked, then decided that I wasn't going to get any information anyway. I pressed the button on the back of the pen repetitively, narrowing my eyes. Maybe I could just doodle on the pad or something.

Unfortunately, my repetitive pen-clicking didn't go unnoticed by Deidara, who was greatly annoyed with the irritating sound, "Would you just shut that thing up, yeah?!"

I rolled my eyes. Seriously, what was his problem? I didn't reply to him, instead I decided to write down a poem. Poems, how lovely, aren't they? But I just didn't know what to write. Maybe I could write something about my headache. Roses are red; violets are blue, headaches suck, so do you? No, that was just so clichéd.

I decided to forget the poem. Instead, I'd just write something else. No, I'd draw something else. I grumbled under my breath, stuffing the notebook and the pen in my pouch. I wasn't going to do anything with it. Besides, how would I be able to explain the flower and the lady bug scribbled beside the blank area where the information about the Akatsuki was supposed to be?

Instead, I decided that I'd do something else. I decided that coffee would be nice at the moment, seeing as I'd be very stressed out as long as Deidara was pissed. I decided that I didn't like Deidara when he wasn't in the hospital. In the hospital, Deidara was normal. Here in the prison, Deidara was either blabbering about his art, making fun of me, getting annoyed, or just asking me random questions about me when he's bored.

I was almost tempted to stab myself in the side again just to go back to the hospital and out of the prison. I had a high-tolerance for pain. I wasn't a complete disaster when in pain; because pain usually means that you're alive. So pain was a good thing? Not really, but it did mean that I was alive when I felt it.

I stood up, retrieving the kettle. I walked toward the washroom and filled the kettle with water, then walked back to plug it in. As the water heated, I just stood idly by the table, tapping my fingers against the surface.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my neck and slam me against the wall. Instinctively, I grabbed the person's wrist, struggling to breathe. I opened my eyes, and gasped for breath when my eyes met Deidara's. His eyes weren't as calm as before. They were aggressive and downright pissed. He resembled my neighbor's cat, but at the moment, it was probably best that I didn't mention it.

As I felt Deidara try to reach into my pouch, I beat him to it and took out a kunai, holding it to his neck. Deidara grabbed my hand, taking the kunai and holding it to my neck. I wheezed. This wasn't very good at all. I had almost deactivated the henge!

Deidara glared dangerously, eyes fiery, "Give me the keys."

Screw you! I wanted to say. But to hell with that idea. Hell, I was actually about to give him the key. But then I realized that I still had my sword! Even though I saw red dots in my vision, I let go of Deidara's wrist and took out my sword, swiping at Deidara blindly.

Deidara glared, jumping away. He still had a kunai. I bit my lip nervously, holding the sword in front of me. Luckily, I hadn't let go of the henge yet. Remembering the chakara control device, I took it out of my pocket and pressed the plus button rapidly. I watched as Deidara suddenly grew tired.

I narrowed my eyes. I shouldn't decrease the amount of chakara anymore, otherwise he may die. Wait, what was I saying? Wasn't that a good thing? Well, no of course not. I glared at Deidara, holding my sword out in front of me with one hand, and the chakara device in the other. I hesitantly pressed the minus button, watching as Deidara slowly got his energy back. He glared poison flames at me. I was almost proud that I managed to get him so angry.

He glanced down to the bracelet he was wearing. With his opposite hand, he tried to get it off, but no avail. I watched this all in a bemused way. I better not say anything, otherwise he might kill me. I coughed, letting him know that I was there, "Uh, if you don't mind me asking, how the _hell _did you get out?"

Deidara glared, stepping forward and delivering a hard kick to my stomach. I coughed out blood a little bit. Shit, shit, shit! I concentrated so that I didn't lose the henge, but, unfortunately, I still hit the wall. My head banged against the concrete, killing at least forty percent of my brain cells. It wasn't like I used all of them, anyway.

I struggled to get to my feet, coughing. As Deidara took a step forward, I pressed the plus button twice, causing Deidara to weaken. "Come any closer and I'm pressing the plus button until you're unconscious."

Deidara scowled sourly, "You bitch, yeah…"

If I had this device earlier, Deidara would hate me. And by me, I mean Kaori. Its fun being Mari and all, though. I had never known that Deidara got mad so easily. But then again, I never tried to really challenge him. It was always him challenging me with his little games and such. I decided that I'd have to be careful around Deidara as long as I was Mari, because I had a feeling that Deidara really hated Mari.

I forgot that Deidara had the kunai, because he threw the kunai at my hand that was holding the device, breaking it. My eyes widened. Nervously, I looked over to Deidara. The bracelet had magically unclasped, freeing Deidara's wrist. A devious smirk steadily made its way to Deidara's face, and he adjusted his forehead protector. Mari was so dead.

Deidara lunged at me, punching me on my arm. I cringed as I fell on my side. Damn it! I stood up hastily, picking up my sword. I glared at him as he ran toward me, dodging a punch and attempting to stab him. Deidara pushed the sword away, sending a strong kick to my good side. At least it wasn't my bad side.

Well not it was hard to tell which was my good side, since on the side where Deidara kicked me I swear he broke at least three ribs, not to mention my hip. I cringed as I landed on my bad side, but luckily didn't open my wound. That would've definitely given me away.

I sheathed my sword, deciding that it rendered useless while fighting Deidara, or rather, being used as a punching bag. Instead, I just got into a regular hand-to-hand combat position. I wasn't very good at hand-to-hand. I was a weakling, I have to say. The amount of times I've broken my hand trying to punch someone is pathetic, not to mention the amount of times I got serious injuries from not guarding myself.

But luckily, I got one of the highest marks for the henge-no-jutsu class, so I was pretty sure that I'd be able to keep it up. Hopefully. I bit my lip as Deidara attacked me again, but I quickly dodged it. After twenty minutes of fighting Deidara, my head started to kill me.

There was no way that I'd be able to fight him with a headache. I narrowed my eyes. I needed to take my pills, but Deidara would know that it's me. I nibbled on my lip, too busy worrying that Deidara managed to kick me in the stomach again, and I hit my head against the wall for the second time. There goes another twenty percent of my brain cells. And I think those were the ones I actually needed.

I limped. I was a gimp now, too! I caught Deidara's fist with both hands, and still was pushed against the wall. Blood trickled down the side of my face. I looked into Deidara's blue eyes, into his liquid flame-filled glare. It was a little weird that I didn't care that he was glaring at me. I still felt a little bit flustered that we were so close.

"Okay, okay! I give up, you win!" I exclaimed, my head pounding with pain, "Please just let me go."

Deidara glared at me, suddenly grabbing my neck in a death grip and holding my up against the wall. He smirked, scaring the hell out of me and putting me on cloud nine at the same time, "No."

I wanted to demand why the _hell _not, but I knew the answer. Suddenly, I did something that I would _never _do. I slapped him.

For some reason, a slap was all it took to get Deidara to let go of my neck and back away from me. I still pressed myself against the wall, panting. I couldn't feel my legs! Did I just slap Deidara? I was definitely going to get it for that one. Well, Mari was going to get it for that one.

I let myself fall to the ground, and I hid my mouth with one hand. I discreetly popped two pills in my mouth, and then hid my pills again. I heaved a sigh of relief, closing my eyes and letting my head droop slightly.

I opened my eyes again when Deidara lodged a kunai into my arm. I pushed Deidara away from me, pulling the kunai out of my arm and trying to block out the pain. I inwardly thanked my mom's genetics for giving me a high-tolerance for pain; otherwise, I think I'd probably be dead. I glared at Deidara, "What the hell is up with you?"

"A certain bitch drained my chakara and keeps pissing me off, yeah," said Deidara, glaring me with a perfect scowl on his face.

"A certain bastard keeps on being an asshole!" I countered, glaring at him. He snarled at me, backing away and reaching into his pocket. Suddenly, I had a random flashback from when I was sixteen.

_I was watching the Chunin exams. The two contestants had stepped into the ring, Deidara and Megumi. Deidara glared menacingly and Megumi, reaching into his pocket. He suddenly threw a bird up into the air, and the bird came to life, fluttering toward Megumi. It suddenly exploded, sending Megumi flying into the wall._

I watched as he pulled out a wad of clay, closing his hand. His fingers appeared to be squishing it. Suddenly, he opened up his palm to me. A mouth on his hand suddenly spit out a bird, and it rushed toward me. As it was getting closer to me, he formed a seal.

"Wait!" I said. I formed a seal as well, deactivating the Henge. Really, having the time of my life isn't worth it.

There was a puff of smoke, and inwardly I wondered why he didn't use his clay in the first place. After the smoke cleared, I looked down. I was myself again. I sighed with relief, slumping against the wall. Deidara just looked even more pissed. Oh crap!

He grabbed the front of my shirt, glaring at me menacingly and hissing, "What is this, some sort of joke, yeah?"

I turned my head to cough, and then asked nervously, "…What do you want my answer to be?"

"Just answer the damn question, _Kaori_," he seethed, pressing me against the wall harder, glaring at me.

I gulped, "Uh, first, you have to let me go and sit in your chair… please."

Deidara glared again, but sat down in his chair, glaring at me as I limped to my own chair and sat down uncomfortably. I cleared my throat, "… Okay, first, you have to promise that you won't hit me or kill me."

He growled a little bit, but nodded sourly, "Fine."

I took a deep breath, "I don't like my name. It was my one chance to not be me. I hate me!"

Deidara scoffed, obviously still angry, "That's a stupid reason to change your name and appearance, yeah."

"I know it isn't a good time to ask," I said, changing the subject, "But why didn't you just use your clay bombs before?"

He scowled again. I blinked. Deidara was obviously on a short fuse, but I should've probably guessed that. "I just found a clump in my pack while I was leaving the hospital."

I was a little shocked by the sudden change in personality. I liked Deidara way better when he was in the hospital. But at least now he wasn't going to make me fall of a bed while he was mad at me, "So you used it just because you were so pissed at me? What are you, an idiot? You could've used that to escape."

Deidara growled, hand twitching. He wanted to hit me? The bastard. I glared at him, "Sixth reason I hate you; you are too easy to piss off when the right strings are pulled, and when you're pissed off, you're so out of your mind that you ruin the perfect opportunity to escape."

He glared at me, looking like he wanted to kill me. Seeing this, I put my hand over my sword. He better not try to hit me. I felt like I was in an abusive relationship, where at some points the guy might be really nice and calm and then when the wife does one little thing to piss him off, he just goes crazy and starts stabbing her with a kitchen knife –for fun!

I glared at Deidara with all the bravery I could muster. I had never been the type of girl that wanted to compete all the time, but the way that Deidara thought that he was so tough just made me feel like it. We had a glaring contest. Of course, I lost because I couldn't stare into his eyes any longer without blushing.

Could I be any more pathetic? Apparently so, because what I did next was something that I hadn't done since I was seven years old –I sulked. I wasn't even scared of Deidara because I was so busy sulking. I just sat in my chair, my back against the wood and I sulked. I didn't cross my arms over my chest and pout like most people did, because that'd be too obvious. Instead, I didn't look at Deidara, and I just stared at the wall past him.

I couldn't wait until the month was over, because then Deidara would die. He'd be hanged in front of the village that hated his guts. Deidara would be rotting in hell, I'd be going back to my boring, dull life, and the world would be good again. But until then, all I could do was wait.

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Aha… so I tried to get Deidara's character back –I think I did it! Life is good again! Well anyway, the "General" beside the Romance doesn't mean "Boring". It means I have to touch up on every genre, and not the ones listed. So I covered the Drama (which was something I wanted to get outta the way), so now what? Well, it's going to get very Adventurous from here on out. And a little bit sad? Maybe. But I don't want this to get corny._

_Please, for the love of the Lord! Please review. I get very discouraged very easily, and I don't know why. Reviews are awesome, no matter what anyone says. People who say others shouldn't beg for reviews don't know the feeling of success that they bring to an author's heart! Please review!_


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

_I do not own Naruto._

_Okay, so I'm updating again. From here on out, it gets a lot more interesting, at least, for me. The setting just changes dramatically, and everything just gets really hectic for poor Kaori. I know Kaori's life sucks. Well, it's just so boring, ay? And then she's getting used as a punching bag… aha… well hopefully this chapter's good. Oh and by the way, I have no idea how to really get to Takigakure. Please bear with me. xD_

_--Chapter 10: In which Kaori's luck sucks--_

I couldn't hold it in anymore. Maybe it was because of my ridiculous little crush that I had on Deidara, or maybe it was because I felt that he needed a week's notice or so. It was exactly one week until the month ended, and I just couldn't keep the fact that Deidara was going to be executed to myself anymore. I just had to tell him… somehow.

It was a stupid idea, and I knew it. But of course, with all the bad decisions that I'd been making, I didn't think that I had much left to lose. So, I just opened my mouth randomly in the middle of dead silence, "… Deidara, at the end of the month, they're going to hang you in front of the village."

Deidara's face suddenly became so dark; it sent cold shivers down my spine. "… _What?_"

My hands flew to my mouth, and I looked up at Deidara with wide eyes. Oh shit! "I'm sorry!"

He was mad, that was for sure. He glared at me. It was the nastiest glare that I've ever gotten from anyone, and I was sure that if looks could kill, I would've imploded by now. Deidara obviously was trying not to kill me, and I couldn't blame him. I reached into my pocket, pulling out my pills and popping them into my mouth with a sigh.

-x-x-x-_ One week later…_

It was the big day. The day that Deidara was going to be executed. I had been biting my nails all morning –a habit that I thought that I got rid of twelve years ago. Apparently, I hadn't. I was nibbling on my nails like a hamster out of anxiety, guilt, fear, and another weird emotion that I just couldn't put my finger on. This stupid crush! It was my entire fault, really. If I had just been more prepared, this never would've happened!

And to make it all worse, Deidara had barely talked to me since the "incident", I shall call it. I didn't blame him either. When someone just randomly tells you that they've been keeping you all cooped up in a prison for a month just to kill you at the end of it, then you don't usually end up being so pleased about it. It definitely wouldn't be my cup of tea, that's certain.

I glanced over to Deidara nervously. We weren't in the prison anymore, but we were in a special room in the Tsuchikage tower. Deidara was in handcuffs, sitting in a rather uncomfortable wooden chair, and was also under serious chakara control.

His hands were bound behind his back, and his hair, which had been drained of all its (creepy) radiance, was covering his face. His breathing was shallow, and was audible in the dead silence. His skin was paler than before, and when I saw his teal eyes this morning, I noticed that they were deeper than ever, but they now weren't even visible because of the blindfold that he wore.

I felt like _I _was the one that was killing him. At the moment, I didn't care. I just really wanted to help him. No matter how weird, flamboyant, and insane he was, I had to admit that he was quite the friend, even though he was one of those friends that stabbed me when he got pissed off, that was fine, because when he wasn't being a nutcase, he was being a funny, nice, _attractive_… Oh screw all this! I was going to get him out of there.

Reaching into my new, baggy brown sweater pocket, I felt for the key. I felt the cool metal between my finger tips, suddenly feeling sudden warmth in my chest. I knew how I was going to save Deidara.

It was simpler than I thought it would be. I had the keys to the handcuffs that he was wearing. I glanced over to the security cameras, and then to Deidara. With his blindfold, he wouldn't be able to see if I took out his scope, right? I took out the scope that I'd taken from him, and then put it over my left eye. I pressed the button to zoom into the security camera, and then examined it closely. There was no speaker, so they shouldn't be able to hear a word I say.

I looked around the room, looking for any hidden speakers. There were none, and that was what I expected. I heard from my ANBU friend that they usually put speakers on the camera if at all, and if they hid it, it usually wasn't hidden very well.

I smiled to myself, taking off the scope and depositing it back into my pocket. I coughed loudly, but Deidara didn't even seem to notice. I wanted to scream. Was he dead?

"Deidara," I whispered. Deidara lifted his head slightly.

"What?" he muttered. I felt sorry for him at that moment. He sounded so miserable.

I cleared my throat, "… You have to do what I say if you want to get out of dying, got it? I know you're mad at me, but it doesn't matter. I'm going to help you right now, so you better accept my help graciously otherwise I might change my mind."

Deidara lifted his head entirely, "… What do you want me to do, yeah?"

I rolled my eyes. He sounded like my plan wouldn't work and he was still going to get killed anyway, "Okay, I know you're all weak because of the chakara control thing, but do you think you can still stand and push me over?"

"… Yeah," said Deidara, sounding a little bit more like himself.

"Okay. I'm going to stand up, and just run straight ahead. Knock me down, and steal the key from my left pocket, but I guess it'd be my right pocket from where you're attacking me from. Unlock the handcuffs as fast as you can and then pull off your blindfold. The chakara control remote is on the desk. Take a kunai from my pouch and smash it. The chakara control thing will just break, you'll have all your energy back, and you can figure out the rest from there, right?"

Deidara nodded, "So do I start now, yeah?"

"Wait," I said. I shifted slightly, "… You have to promise… that you won't kill anyone."

Deidara seemed reluctant, but mumbled grudgingly, "Fine…"

"Okay. I'm going to pretend that I'm fighting back. Okay? You can start…" I discreetly pushed a pen of the table in front of me and stood up to pick it up, "Now."

He waited for a few moments, and then rushed forward, tackling me. I let out an "oof" as I landed flat on my back. Damn it, he was heavy! I pretended to struggle to push him off. Deidara eventually got the key and unlocked the handcuffs. A loud alarm went off. Deidara had already taken off his blindfold and pushed me against the wall, stealing a kunai. I pushed him away, taking out my sword.

I suddenly felt like I was going to topple over. My hip had just healed, damn it! And now it was broken again all because of my stupid plan to get Deidara out.

Deidara grabbed my arm roughly, throwing me against the wall. I cursed loudly. He obviously was still mad at me.

He took the kunai, stabbing the chakara control device, panting slightly. The ANBU burst through the door, and Deidara quickly disappeared, then reappeared next to me. His mouth was close to my ear, and he muttered "thank you".

After that, for some reason, he found it necessary to use me as a shield. I swore under my breath as Deidara held a kunai to my neck. The ANBU stopped in their tracks.

"Don't come any closer, otherwise, the girl dies, yeah…" he said, smirking.

I seriously had no idea whether he was bluffing or not. I bit my lip. The ANBU slowly reached into their back pockets. Idiots! Did they want me to die? Deidara saw it, but instead of killing me, he stabbed me harshly in the side.

I groaned, grabbing my already bad side and clutching it as the blood spilled out. One ANBU rushed to my side while the other chased after Deidara, who was on the loose. My vision started to blur, and my eyes were starting to close. _The bastard…_

-x-x-x- _Three years or so later…_

My hair cut was way too short. Usually I liked my hair long and all the same length and bangs. But thanks to my stupid hair cut that I got the other day, my hair came down a little bit past my collar bone and was _layered_. Did I jinx it when I pretended to be Mari three years ago and styled her hair that exact same way? With my luck, I probably did.

Was it a bad decision to let Deidara escape back then? Yes. Did I still have a stupid crush on stupid Deidara? Yes. Did my life return to normal after I let Deidara get away? Hell no. For some reason, my life changed drastically after Deidara got away from me. My parents were shocked that I had gotten away from _the _Deidara alive, and had never been more proud of me (to my horror).

I got more missions than I ever thought I would, although none of them were that great. It was mostly missions sending me out to other villages to gather medicine, deliver scrolls, and escort nobles to their homes. It wasn't as boring as my life used to be, but it wasn't exciting either. It's like having to walk an elderly across the street –and the street takes at least three days to cross.

That day, I had woken up earlier than usual. I walked down the steep flight of stairs, and dragged myself into the kitchen, where my parents sat chattering about something that was either really boring, or painfully depressing. I took my seat at the table and began to pick at the waffles that my mother had put out for me.

"Kaori-chan, would you do me a favor and check our mailbox for us?" asked my mother sweetly.

I rolled my eyes, but stood up and made my way to the front door, walking towards the mailbox. I opened up the small little box-like thing, and pulled out a letter. It was addressed to me. I raised an eyebrow. That was new. A letter for me? It was probably a letter from my cousin telling me how thin she got over the years.

Well, it wasn't from my cousin. It turned out that it was from the Tsuchikage. I carefully opened the envelope, and took out the stationary. I mumbled the words as I read the letter; "Kaori, you have demonstrated great skill in being a Chunin, ha! Yeah right… and I believe that you are ready to begin your Jounin training in _Takigakure_?!"

I quickly scanned the rest of the letter, "You will get one year to train, and when you come back I will put you to the test with the other Chunin that trained to be Jounin… Bring supplies such as kunai, shuriken… It's your choice whether or not to go. If you decide to go… report to the Tsuchikage tower…"

I blinked. Hell no. I wasn't going. Unfortunately for me, I must've been standing out there for a while, since my dad had come out to check up on me and had read the whole thing over my shoulder, "Kaori, you're going."

Whirling around, I faced my father and gaped, "… I am?!"

"What is it, dear?" asked my mother, coming out of the house to check and see what all the commotion was about. "Oh! Kaori, you're going to be a Jounin?"

_No, I'm not. _"Well… I don't know they did say it was optional…"

"Well pack your bags! You're going to Takigakure!" said my father, ushering me inside the house. I inwardly screamed. How old was I, thirteen? No, I was actually twenty-two. I was old, very old. I was incredibly weak for a Chunin, and there was no way that I was going to become a Jounin no matter how hard I trained. Everyone else my age was already ANBU or Jounin. I'd probably be getting promoted with a bunch of teenagers.

I grumbled to myself as I dragged myself up the flight of stairs, going to my room. I began packing my clothes. Navy khaki pants that had those scrunched up things on the ends so that I could pull it up so that it was below my knees, blue khaki shorts, net tops, baggy sweaters. I went to my closet and took out my sword, which by the way I haven't used since I fought Deidara three years ago, and my ninja sandals and forehead protector.

At the moment I was feeling like the unluckiest person in the world, so I decided to wrap my forehead protector around my hips instead of around my neck like usual. With my luck, I would probably get it caught on the branches while jumping through trees and accidentally hang myself.

At the moment, I was wearing a pair of the navy khaki pants that I mentioned earlier with a black net top and a baggy, dark green sweater with a giant hood. I slipped on the black ninja sandals, again wondering why they were even invented in the first place. I adjusted my sword around my hips, feeling awkward. After all that, I strapped on my shuriken and kunai pouches on again.

Once again, I was reminded how I was _not _cut out to be a ninja. I grumbled as I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked down the stairs. I said goodbye to my parents, grabbed a giant water bottle and some snacks, and then began to make my way towards the Tsuchikage tower. Wasn't my life just _awesome_? Not.

When I reached the Tsuchikage's office, I noticed that he was wearing the full outfit. All the robes and the pointy hat. I gently knocked on the door that was propped open, clearing my throat. Ryuu looked up from the papers that he was signing, and then smiled at me kindly. He stood up, "So, you've decided to go to Takigakure?"

Actually, no, my parents decided it for me. "Yes."

"That's good. Well here is the map," he handed me a rolled up map; "You will be needing it. You can leave now, if you'd like."

I nodded, and then bowed my head, "Alright. Thank you, Tsuchikage-sama."

I left the building. Before I knew it, I was walking through the busy streets of Iwagakure. It would be the last time I walked there in a while. As I reached the village gates, I felt a strange emotion in my chest. Most likely because I was going to miss this place. I was going to miss my boring life.

When I left the gates, however, I felt the strangest feeling ever. It was like I was completely and utterly free. I was. There wasn't any specific training that I had to do –I just had to go to Takigakure and train there however I wanted to. I unrolled the map. So I'd be going through a large forest that's a couple of miles off from here… then I should see tons of large rivers, and then I have to follow one of these rivers leading to giant waterfalls. Then I'd have to actually go through a waterfall to get to the village.

I groaned, stuffing the map into my backpack. I inwardly debated whether or not I should move at full speed. I wasn't exactly _fast. _But I wasn't slow. The thing with me is that if I ran at full speed for too long I'd either; throw up, pass out, or just be very tired and give up. And I got tired very easily.

Grumbling under my breath, I decided I'd go half speed. Slowly, I began to run. I ran past the deserted, stony battlefield looking places, concentrating some chakara to my feet to make me run a little faster. Once I reached the forest, I was tired.

I leaned against a mighty oak tree, panting slightly. My vision was getting very blurry, and my head was starting to kill me. Good thing that I brought a super-sized container of my stress pills along whenever I went anywhere. I reached into my bag, pulling out the gigantic medicine container and popping two pills into my mouth. I also removed my gigantic green sweater and stuffed it into my bag, leaving me in my net top.

Maybe this was my turning point in life. Maybe after this, my life would change completely. I closed my eyes, wishing as hard as I could. My life sucked. I had the worst luck ever and the most boring life possible. And I was still a ninja even though every time I talked to my parents I _implied _that I wanted to be a dentist.

Suddenly, there was some rustling in the bushes. Damn it all! I took out a kunai, still panting. I glared at the bushes. Something was going to jump out soon. Like I thought, a rouge ninja jumped out of the bushes, two swords in his hands. I inwardly cursed as he came at me, attempting to slice my head of. I ducked, and luckily I didn't get a new haircut. I swiped out my leg, sweeping him clean off his feet.

Maybe I was getting my thunder back after all? Not that I really had any in the past. I snatched his swords away, but he still had his kunais. He threw a bunch at me, but I quickly dodged them all except for one that decided to get stuck in my arm. I cursed under my breath. This was familiar. It reminded me of something that happened three years ago.

I yanked the kunai out of my arm, wincing slightly. I chucked it at the ninja, getting him in the leg. My aim was way off, since I was aiming for his heart. I gasped as he threw needles at me. I dodged all of them this time. Then, I took out three shuriken, throwing them at him.

Luckily, I managed to get one in his stomach, causing him to fall down. He was still breathing, but was unconscious. I almost sighed with relief. I didn't want to kill anyone, at least not yet. I wanted to go to heaven, where all the angels were.

After I beat the rouge ninja, I decided that it wasn't a good idea to start moving again. I zipped up my back pack and buckled it up securely and slung it over my shoulders. I jumped into the tree, barely managing to land on the branch. I was really rusty…

I concentrated chakara on my feet, and then began jumping through the trees. I smiled slightly as I did so. Jumping through trees was my favorite part of being a ninja. I felt like I was flying and all the worries and stress was always magically lifted off my shoulders. Jumping through trees was fun, no matter how much I hated being a ninja.

I was traveling at full speed by nightfall, and I was getting used to the jumping again, though it was still tiring. My heart thumped in my chest, and sweat dribbled down my forehead. My back pack bounced on my back as I jumped, and my hair flew behind me. It was the best feeling I've felt in a while, that was positive.

But of course, the entire thing was ruined when I got attacked –again. I gasped as a kunai cut my arm, and fell from the tree. For a moment, I panicked because I had no idea how I was supposed to land. However, I managed to land on my feet. Although it rather painful due to my hip which was slightly bad due to the fact that I broke it three years ago, I could stand on both feet. I looked around for the person that attacked me, a frown on my face.

"Who's there?" I called out, feeling slightly stupid. No one was going to answer me. At least, that's what I thought.

A figure jumped into the dark clearing, but I couldn't really see what he was wearing. I could tell it was a he because of his height and the way that his body was shaped. Either that or it's a girl with a really weird body shape. I held my sword out in front of me, trying to look menacing. I was sure that I looked like I had no idea what I was going to do next though, because truthfully, I had no idea what I was going to do next.

I narrowed my eyes, wishing that I didn't even go on the stupid Jounin training thing, "Who are you?"

The figure stepped closer, and I realized that he was wearing a black cloak with red clouds and a high collar, along with a Chinese styled straw hat with long white tassels. I blinked, straightening slightly. It seemed familiar. The person slowly raised his hand, and I noticed a ring on his right index finger.

Slowly, he removed his hat from his head. His hair was long, and his eyes seemed to shine in the darkness. Half of his face was covered by long, thick bangs. His hair was blonde. Deidara? I gaped, "Wha"-

He threw a dozen kunai at me before I could say anything, and I quickly dodged. My poor arms had been tortured enough. I threw a handful of kunai at him, but he dodged them, "Too slow, yeah!"

I grimaced as he did a back flip and reached into his pockets. Just as I expected –he forgot about me. So my luck wasn't getting any better that day. I dropped my bag beside a nearby bush, bracing myself.

I used my sword to deflect shuriken. Suddenly, a bird came flying at me. "Shit!"

Deidara made a hand seal, "Katsu!"

I gasped as the impact of the explosion sent me flying into a tree. I groaned as my back hit the hard bark. Damn it, of all the times that I had to meet him –when there was no one else to defend me. All of a sudden, a dozen clay spiders began crawling towards me. My eyes widened as he detonated all of them at once, sending me into a tree. I landed on a branch, panting. My back was bleeding like hell. Damn it…

Useless, that what I was. I couldn't even try to fight him. He was way too strong. But at the moment, dying wasn't something that sounded so pleasant. I jumped at him, tackling him to the ground. All the bombing was a long-range attack.

He growled as we landed on the ground, and punched me hard in the gut, and then grabbed my neck and raised me in the air. He liked to grab my neck a lot, didn't he? Somehow, I managed to choke out, "… I can't believe you're going t-to kill me after I let you go, Deidara…"

Deidara snarled, slamming my back against a tree. The first word that popped into my head was irony. He hissed, "How do you know me, yeah?"

"Because I guarded you for an entire month, damn it!" I choked out, losing air. I gasped for breath as Deidara let go of me. I landed on the ground, coughing up blood. One of these days Deidara was really going to kill me.

"Kaori?" he asked, kneeling down to my level. He pushed away his bangs, and I saw that he had a new device, only it was smaller and didn't take up his entire cheek. He examined me closer. All of a sudden, he got mad again, "Wait, if you knew it was me why did you keep fighting?"

"Because you didn't remember me!" I exclaimed. "And you didn't exactly give me a chance to say anything!"

Deidara seemed to calm down at this. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, and I could clearly see his face. I almost blushed. At that moment I was confused –was running into him a sign that my luck was getting better or worse? Deidara smirked at me, "Sorry, yeah… I didn't recognize you."

"You try to kill me and you apologize? You psycho…" I muttered sarcastically. I hissed in pain at the stinging sensation on my back, "Damn it…"

Deidara grinned a little bit, "It's been a while now… yeah."

"Three years or so," I told him. "Are you seriously going to make pep talk with me after you just attempted to kill me?"

"I thought you were a rouge ninja that was going to get in my way, yeah," said Deidara.

I narrowed my eyes, "Well now I have this huge wound on my back and it's bleeding like crazy," I paused my wince in pain, "And it stings."

"Want me to bandage it up for you, yeah?" asked Deidara.

I rolled my eyes, "No, I don't want you to help stop the bleeding and I actually do want to pass out from blood loss. Why do you need to ask?"

Deidara scoffed, "So that's a yes then?"

"Wait, does that mean you're going to have to lift up my shirt and touch me?" I asked, feeling my cheeks warm up a little bit. I was so pathetic. "If so, than I'm doing it by myself."

"I'm not going to look at anything," said Deidara, rolling his eyes. He smirked as he said the next comment, "There probably wouldn't be much to see anyway, yeah…"

I glared, "Oh, ha, ha, my sides are splitting. Okay, fine. You can go bandage me up then." Because I had no idea how.

Deidara smirked, reaching into his kunai pouch. My eyes widened in alarm, but then I relaxed when he pulled out a roll of bandages. I turned around, my back to him. I awkwardly –and painfully- pulled up my shirt, my wound on my back stinging as I did so. I felt something cool being applied to my back, but it stung a little bit, as well. I hissed in pain.

"Ouch…" I muttered.

"Don't move, yeah," said Deidara. I suddenly felt a cloth up against my wound, and I felt Deidara move his arms around me. At that moment, I turned bright red. No! He was doing that because he had to get the bandages all the way around me. After he was done wrapping the bandages all the way around me about four times, he tied it.

"Ow…" I mumbled again, pulling down my shirt. I turned around, giving Deidara a small, smile, "Thanks… I guess."

He shrugged, smirking, "No problem."

Deidara and I both stood up, and I awkwardly walked over to my back and slung it over my shoulder, wincing slightly. "This has been a wonderful meeting… but if you'll excuse me I have to go."

He was leaning against the tree, his arms crossed across his chest. He opened his visible eye, "Where are you headed, yeah?"

I gave him a questioning stare, "You're not going to kill me if I tell you, right?" Deidara scoffed in response. "I'm going to Takigakure to train…"

Deidara blinked, then smiled a little bit, causing my heart to flutter, "Oh yea… Jounin training. You got Takigakure? I have a mission that I have to do there, yeah."

"Oh," I mumbled. Even though my stomach was doing back flips, in the back of my mind I was cursing my luck for screwing me over. I had no idea whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Well I guess that it was more of a good thing, because now if I get lost Deidara can help me out.

"It takes about five days to get there even at full speed, yeah…" said Deidara, a smirk spreading across his face. He pushed off the tree, "And plus there are tons of rouge ninjas on the way there, and some of them are at Jounin level."

I narrowed my eyes, "Are you saying that I'm incompetent?"

"Well, not incompetent… just trying to tell you that there might be foes that are stronger than you by a lot, yeah," said Deidara, shrugging.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "A longer way of saying I'm weak. Okay, it's not like I'm offended by it." I suddenly fixed a stare that was supposed to be a glare but just turned out to be a stare, "So what are you suggesting that I do about it?"

Deidara shrugged again, a small smirk on his face, "Well, I could always come with you, yeah."

"Like a body guard?" I questioned. Deidara nodded, and I scoffed, "Wait, why are you helping me at all? In case you've forgotten already, you're an s-ranked criminal, and you're part of the Akatsuki. You're supposed to be murdering me right now."

"Think of it as me returning the favor, yeah," Deidara said. Then he narrowed his eyes and muttered under his breath, "No matter how pathetic it is that I got saved by a girl that's weaker than me."

I scowled, "Thank you for whispering for my benefit."

Deidara grinned, then grabbed my upper arm and tried to pull me somewhere. I hissed in pain, and Deidara stopped, sending me an annoyed frown, "Kaori, every time I touch you doesn't mean I'm trying to hurt you, yeah."

A small blush spread over my face, but I glared, "I know that! My arm got stabbed by some ninja that I ran into, and you grabbing the place where I got stabbed isn't exactly helping it get better!"

His face went confused, and I relished it. He looked _really cute _when he was confused. I inwardly bonked myself on the back of my head. Damn it. Wasn't I even concerned about the fact that I am interested in him at all? Not really. Deidara suddenly grinned sheepishly, releasing my arm, "Whoops."

Deidara suddenly gestured me to follow him. I moistened my lips before I followed him through the thick forest. It was a little scary when it was night, but at the same time very relaxing. Crickets chirped in the air and the crescent moon was high in the starry sky. The soil looked richer, and the grass seemed to sparkle.

I was probably too interested in the scenery to pay attention to Deidara, who poked me in the side, "Oi, I'm talking to you, yeah."

I blinked, and then looked towards Deidara, "What is it?"

"It's been three years and you haven't come up with the eighth reason that you hate me, yeah?" asked Deidara, smirking. "I knew that you wouldn't be able to name ten."

"You remember that?" I asked. It slowly came back to me, and then I gave a humorless laugh, "Oh right… Well, fine. I don't really know if this counts, but I _hate _it when you hurt me. You broke my hip, three of my ribs, stabbed me in the arm, punched me in the stomach, held me by my neck and slammed my back against the wall about four times… and should I continue?"

Deidara rolled his eyes, "I didn't think it mattered so much, yeah."

"How could you think _that_? I think I'm going to have a scar on my back now, but hopefully I won't…" I trailed off, looking around. "Are we just going to walk the entire time?"

"I thought that your back hurt, yeah," said Deidara, sending me a weird look. I flushed. He _cares _that my back hurt? I decided not to say anything about it.

"I think I'll live," I told him. Deidara grinned, and then jumped up into a tree branch.

Surprisingly, he hung upside down from the branch, crouching like a frog. I covered my mouth to stop from smiling. Deidara smirked, then stood up and walked so that he was standing properly on the branch. "Are you coming or what?"

Muttering under my breath, I jumped onto the branch, making sure that I didn't fall off. Deidara smirked as I struggled to keep my balance, and I glared at him, "I'm sure that you take amusement in my misery."

"That's true, yeah," said Deidara with a grin, then he began jumping through the trees. "Race ya!"

I groaned loudly. Some body guard he was. I jumped after him, but I found that he was way too fast. I stopped on a branch, kneeling down. I panted as I took the super sized bottle of stress pills out of my bag and swallowed two, then put the bottle back. Suddenly, Deidara just appeared beside me. I gasped, jumping away a little bit.

"You're really slow, yeah," Deidara muttered, rolling his eyes. "Or did you just get tired?"

"Both," I told him. I stood up slowly.

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my feet. He released my hand, and then winked at me before he began jumping through the trees again, though a lot slower than before. My eye twitched slightly, but I jumped after him, catching up so that I was by his side.

Unexpectedly, Deidara just took out his hat from no where and put it on the top of my head. I stopped abruptly, moving away the tassels. After I had successfully moved the tassels away, I glared at Deidara, who looked like he was going to burst into laughter. "Well, now I know what it's like to wear _evil_."

I took off the hat and handed it to Deidara, but he didn't accept it, "I think you should wear that, yeah… if anyone who recognizes me sees someone else with me that I'm _not _trying to kill, then they might think that you're betraying your village, yeah."

"… _What?_" I asked, eyes widening. "So technically I'm a criminal for traveling with you?"

"Yeah, basically," said Deidara.

I glared, "So why am I wearing the hat? You should be in a henge right now. You have better chakara control than me, and probably more chakara than me, too. And you're the stronger one, and the one getting me in trouble and always beating me up, so you should have to change what you're wearing!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, and then made a seal. He muttered lazily, "… Henge."

He instantly changed his clothes, wearing a simple black, robe-like outfit (with pants) and black ninja sandals. He took of his scope and put it in his pocket, and then took his hair tie out and braided his hair instead. I flushed, and decided to pretend to be looking somewhere else.

"Okay Kaori, my hair's braided now. You can look, yeah," said Deidara, sounding amused. I grumbled under my breath as Deidara chuckled, and then began jumping again.

Even though Deidara had changed his appearance, I decided to keep his hat on. Just to be safe. And also because it smelled nice. For a few moments, we were jumping through the trees in peace, until, that is, Deidara grabbed me and pulled me down.

My eyes widened, and I let out a strangled scream as we fell. We landed in a bush, and Deidara pulled me down so that I was lying on my stomach. He gestured for me to keep quiet.

I gave him a, "you're got to be joking" sort of look before peering through the bushes to see what we were hiding from.

As though on cue, the ground began to tremble and two rather obese ninjas came into the clearing. Both of them were ninjas and had long hair tied into a high pony tail. Their eyes were small and their skin was tanned. According to their forehead protectors that could barely fit around their wrists as a bracelet, they hailed from Kirigakure.

"I smell a woman!" hollered one the one with red hair. He sniffed the air, "She's somewhere around here…"

Instantly, I paled. The brown-haired one sniffed the air as well, "Ah yes! I smell her as well! Where do you think she is?"

"Come out woman…" said the red haired one, taking steps around the clearing the literally shook the ground. I began to see my horrible life flash before my eyes. The irony was almost something humorous to me. I chewed on my lip as they suddenly neared the bush.

Deidara suddenly whispered, "Let's get outta here, yeah."

We both jumped up into the tree above us. The two fat men looked up. Seeing me, they pointed, "There's the woman! There's the woman! Let's get her!"

I cried out as the brown haired one slammed his fists onto the tree, sending it to the ground. Deidara swore loudly and pulled me with him as he jumped to another tree. He put me down, and without even thinking I threw a handful of shuriken at the brown haired one. I didn't expect it to bounce of his skin and come flying back at us though.

Eyes widening, I jumped out of the way, going the opposite way that Deidara went. I swore loudly as one of the guys knocked down the tree that I was in, sending me tumbling to the ground.

I landed awkwardly on my side, spraining my arm and bruising it, and I winced as the red haired one lifted me up by my other arm roughly.

There was a loud explosion, causing the fat man to fly into a tree. Somehow I ended up under his arm. I struggled to lift the arm off of me. Wonderful night I was having. "Damn it…" I muttered. I gave up, deciding it wasn't worth getting the hernia.

Deidara appeared magically at my side, lifting the arm off of me and pulling me to my feet. He glared at me, "Stay out of the way, otherwise they're seriously going to get you, yeah."

"I wasn't _trying _to get in the way," I muttered under my breath. Suddenly, a large hand grabbed me like a doll, lifting me up in the air. Deidara cursed, jumping away before he got punched by the other fat guy.

"Let me down!" I yelled, glaring at the fat man.

The guy that was holding me narrowed his eyes, "You don't struggle against me, woman."

Deidara suddenly jumped onto the fat man's shoulders, then lodged a kunai in his throat, covering his hand with blood. The man fell to the ground, and Deidara jumped to where I was. I felt nauseous as he used his bloodied hands to pry the man's hands off of me and lift me up to my feet.

"Are you going to help, yeah?" asked Deidara. "If you're just going to get in the way, then you better hide."

My legs felt weak, and I began to limp over to a nearby tree, using it to support me, "Well I'm obviously going to get in the way since these men obviously suck when it comes to the art of seduction and yet are trying so hard to take me."

Deidara rolled his eyes, and then turned back to the next fat guy, who was kneeling next to his dead friend. "Sato! Wake up! The woman might get away!"

"Hey, why do you need to fight him?" I demanded. "He's not even paying attention! Let's go!"

A sadistic smirk spread across Deidara's face, "And give up a good fight, yeah? No way, I'm showing this guy what art really is…"

He took out a small clay spider, throwing it into the air. It grew instantly, and then latched itself to the fat man's stomach. Deidara jumped into a tree, pulling me with him and making a hand seal, "Katsu!"

The bomb detonated, and Deidara and I leaped away before we got caught in the explosion. I suddenly stopped, trying to wipe the blood off of me, "Ugh… I hate blood."

"Ninjas aren't supposed to be afraid of blood, yeah," said Deidara, frowning.

"But you have met mortal women before, right?" I asked him. "I'm a girl, so I typically find having some fat guy's blood smudged all over me very disgusting."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "You'll live, yeah."

I narrowed my eyes, adjusting the hat on my head. My arm was killing me, but I decided not to mention it. "Well, let's just go then."

_-- Author's Notes --_

_I'm not really good at fighting scenes. And also, I totally agree. Poor Kaori! xD I guess you can blame that all on me. I'm working hard at keeping Deidara in perfect character, and I think that I'm doing an okay job. I analyzed his personality in the anime. Arrogant, calm, pretty collected unless he's annoyed by someone. During battle, he's very calm and cocky. When I searched up his personality, it says that he was sadistic and wasn't above relishing a good fight…_

_Alrighty. Well I don't want to bore you with my rambling. I have no idea when the actual romance starts, but I've been adding in glimpses, I suppose. Reviews makes author's very happy, and a happy author means faster, better updates!_


	11. Chapter 11

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_I do not own Naruto._

_Thank you for all the love and support! And really, all of your reviews just make me skip like a jolly old fellow. I really do thank you all! The secret behind my fast updates… well… I'm actually a really fast at typing. I type as fast as some of my teachers. So really, there should be no excuse if I don't update… I guess. As long as I have an idea (I have tons). So here's another update brought to you by the Book nerd. Please enjoy._

_--Chapter 11: In which the companions go on a camping adventure--_

Humans needed to take a break –always. It was the middle of the night, possibly about three something am. I didn't want to just jump through trees with Deidara nonstop, so I found the will to demand a break, "Okay, Deidara, we're stopping."

We both stopped on a branch, and Deidara gave me an annoyed look, "Are you serious? We're _stopping_, yeah?"

"Well I'm not an s-ranked criminal, I don't have all your magnificent super powers, and you expect me to be able to keep up with you? Ha! You make me laugh. Even if you're not going to take a break, I am. You can go on ahead if getting to Takigakure is so important to you."

No longer possessing the will to just jump down from the tree, I carefully lowered myself to another branch, making an attempt to climb down the normal way. Deidara scoffed at me, grabbing me and leaping down.

Now, Deidara obviously wasn't paying attention to where we were landing, because we both ended up landing in a river with a gigantic splash. Bubbles came out of my mouth as I looked at Deidara, who looked like he wanted to laugh. I swam to the surface, gasping for air. Deidara popped up as well, smirking. He snickered at me as I turned red.

"Damn it Deidara!" I gasped, trying hard to keep afloat. Deidara rolled his eyes, somehow climbing _onto _the water and standing on it.

My eyes widened as he pulled me up into his arms, carrying me off the river. I gave him a weird look, and he smirked, "What? You've never learned this trick, yeah?"

I glared, pushing away from him and standing on my own. I wrung out my hair, frowning as Deidara snickered in the back round. "You know, this isn't funny. You really should watch where you're landing! We could've been jumping off a cliff!"

Deidara scoffed, wringing out his own hair and clothes, "You don't think I can get out of falling of a cliff, Kaori?"

"No I don't," I said, glaring as I removed my sweater. The water made my wounds sting, but I didn't complain. Instead, I said, "Well, fine. Now that we've stopped, I'm going to get firewood."

"You? Getting firewood, yeah?" asked Deidara, raising an eyebrow and frowning. "Do you even know how?"

"Yes. You find dry little sticks and bring them back here," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Maybe you've forgotten, but I _am _an adult. I'm twenty-two, and I'm perfectly capable of doing such simple tasks on my own. Even if you lack the maturity of an adult, I do _not._"

Deidara pushed away his bangs, removing his scope and shoving it into his pack. I saw his other teal eye, and I bit my lip. Damn it. I turned on my heel, throwing my soaking bag next to a tree and walking into the forest. Why had I lied? How the hell would I have known how the hell to get firewood? Was I supposed to cut it off the tree?

I frowned distastefully a I moved past a prickly-looking group of brambles and ducked under a branch. It was stupid that I was trying so hard to be an adventurous person. Actually, it was just plain sad. I was not adventurous. I wasn't a capable woman. Even if I was mature, it didn't mean that I had the most… experience.

Deidara obviously had more experience then I as an outdoorsman. So why was _I _getting the firewood? Why did I even volunteer so generously? Easy. Because I was embarrassed. He was so nice all the time, and it bothered me. Getting firewood was my only way to get the _hell _out of there.

Oh yes. I'm smooth.

I stopped when I entered a clearing. There were little sticks that littered the grass. Tempted to let out a sigh of relief, I crouched down and began picking a couple up. After taking as much as I could into my arms, I whirled around and was _going _to go back to camp, but then I remembered something.

One thing was that I had no idea which way I came from, and another thing was that all the trees were incredibly tall where I was. They weren't this tall when I was with Deidara.

Where the hell was I?

I was sure that even the great lord had no idea. Cursing myself for having poor navigation skills, I peered up into the trees again. I frowned. They seemed too high for me to just jump into. With a loud string of profanities, I paced around the clearing, trying to remember which direction I came from.

Of course I had to get lost. It was just the way things were with me. Horrible luck, horrible circumstances. In this particular circumstance, well, I was obviously lost. So what would one do when lost?

I weighed my options. Screaming for help at the top of my lungs? Hell no -that was much too degrading. I could just not go back. I had a compass and map that would lead me to Takigakure anyway, so I could just go ahead by myself. I also had my bag and pills with me, so I technically didn't need Deidara's help.

But for some reason I just didn't want to go without him even with the full knowledge that I could. I was that pathetic.

It could've been my horrible fighting abilities and bad arm and bruised, tortured back and that I just wanted someone to protect me. But really, _yeah right. _Deidara would not protect me in a battle, would he? For some reason, I doubt he would. The fat people were an exception because they were… disgusting. But in an actual battle against highly skilled rouge-ninjas where even his own life was at stake?

As if he'd waste his time saving some pathetic woman's sorry ass.

So it wasn't because I wanted Deidara to protect me. I hated to admit it, but it was because I wanted to be with him. I wanted to travel with a man that could get me thrown in jail for the rest of my life, who had tried to kill me plenty of times, had inflicted pain upon me more than I can say, and the person whom I've told I _hated. _

I sure know how to choose them.

But how was I supposed to get back? I looked up into the trees once again. If only I could jump that high…

Well then again, I'd never know if I didn't try.

Feeling like a complete and utter idiot, I dropped all of the little sticks that I was carrying and concentrated all of my chakara to my feet. I counted to thirty in my head, readying myself to jump.

And I _jumped._

I jumped high into the trees, and struggled as I grasped out to grab a branch. On the bright side, I did end up grabbing a branch with both hands. But… there's always going to be something bad about everything I do.

It was the weakest branch ever. I was right on the end. And I was so high off the ground it'd be like jumping off a cliff.

The first thing that popped up in my head was a vile obscenity. _Son of a bitch! _I meekly peered down from where I was hanging and vaguely wondered if falling from this high was enough to kill me. And that was a question that I _didn't _want to be answered.

"Shit!" I cursed again as the branch crackled under my weight. Was I really that fat? If I lived through this, which I most likely wouldn't, I was going to start working out again.

The branch creaked once more, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Anxiety rushed through my body, my stomach churned, and the voices in my head gasped as suddenly, the branch _broke_.

Death wasn't something that I liked to think about. It was something that I often dreamed about, but really, who controls my dreams? But anyway, death didn't sound too good. I didn't know where I was going to end up, that was one thing. Heaven or hell? I was sure that heaven wouldn't want some random idiot that started crushing on an s-ranked missing criminal. And hell? No way. I wouldn't handle hell's harsh conditions. And I think I've said that before.

I was falling, but it felt like I was floating. It took an eternity, and air whizzed past my ears. What happened next was not what I was expecting.

"Oof!" grunted a voice.

I realized that I had successfully managed to fall… and land on top of Deidara. He was right below me, flat on his back, glaring at me. I was straddling him. I was too grateful that he had been there at that exact moment to be embarrassed and get off, "Thank _God._"

My head pounded with pain, and I groaned suddenly and collapsed on top of him. I could just imagine Deidara smirking, "You know, it does look like we're doing something else, yeah."

Realizing the major faux-pas that I had just committed to, I jumped away from him, managing to wipe the furious blush of my face before he could see. I looked ugly when I blushed, and I wasn't just saying that. Red really didn't go with light brown, "Shut up."

"I was just telling you," said Deidara. He suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be mad at me and then narrowed his eyes again, getting to his feet, "And where the hell did you fall from, yeah? And why the hell were you there in the first place?"

Not wanting to admit that I had gotten lost, I lied, "… I... there was…" cliché little excuses would be good at the moment, "… a cat stuck in the tree."

I pointed upwards to the tree that I just fell from. Deidara narrowed his eyes, examining the tree closer. He averted his glare towards me again, "Kaori, that was a shitty lie, yeah… I don't like it when people lie to me."

"You think I'd lie?" I asked, trying hard to be serious. It wasn't hard. After something that embarrassing, it was hard not to try and cover it up.

After glaring at me for the next couple of minutes, Deidara finally let out an annoyed sigh, and then turned away from me. I scrambled to pick up the sticks and followed after him. Lie accomplished.

We returned to camp rather quickly. Apparently, I wasn't that far.

-x-x-x-

After eating fish caught and cooked by Deidara, we sat silently beside the fire, opposite of each other. I crossed my arms over my chest, glancing up quickly at Deidara who leaned against the tree and stared up at the stars.

If I had been feeling a little bit more secure that day, I would've said something -anything. But my mind was a complete and utter blank. I couldn't think of any words that would be reasonable to say at the moment. Who would've, anyway?

So what would you say if you liked a person that tried to kill you but at other times is really nice to you but you and then you're stuck with him sitting at a fire?

It's a real thinker, that one.

Luckily, my thinking wasn't required. Deidara decided to start a conversation, "It'll take us four and a half days to get there… yeah."

I crossed my legs, resting my chin in my hands and nodding slightly, "So what do you want to do?"

"Don't care. I get all the time I need for my mission, yeah."

I frowned, "What is your mission, anyway?"

Deidara narrowed his eyes slightly, as though checking to see if I'd say anything about it. It irked me, since I would never get involved with such matters. Deidara replied cautiously, "I have to assassinate a spy there that's working as a candy shop owner, yeah. And then I have to locate a certain hidden scroll within the village and bring it back."

"And I'm guessing you're not going to explain any further?" I asked tiredly.

"Yeah," said Deidara, smirking. "I thought you'd bother me about it, I guess not."

"I don't care, Deidara," I replied, averting my eyes to the dancing flames, "I… don't care what you do as long as you don't harm innocent people."

Rolling his eyes, he threw a stick into the fire, causing me to jump at the sparks that flew up. Deidara smirked, saying casually, "You know Kaori; you're going to have to get a job when you get there."

My head snapped up, and my eyes widened, "What?"

"I went on Jounin training before, yeah… it says that you have to find a job in the bottom right-hand corner of the map. It isn't that hard, yeah," said Deidara, shrugging. He smirked as I paled.

"A job? As in I have to send out a resume? And… and sit through an interview?" I asked, paling the more I thought about it.

I hated getting jobs. The only job I've ever wanted was to be a dentist, and that dream was in shambles. Sending out resumes wasn't something I was good at because… there was nothing I could do. There weren't many people that would hire random ninjas -they'd go to the village leader and ask him to hire someone for them. So I'd have to get an actual, civilian job. And I had no idea how.

"But… but what would I say on my resume?" I demanded, panic erupting.

Deidara rolled his eyes as though I was making a big deal about something stupid and frowned, "Stuff that you know how to do that would benefit you during the job, yeah."

"… Dinosaur impressions?"

"Really? Let's see, yeah!" said Deidara, grinning. "I'd pay to see _that._"

"You know what? You're an asshole."

"… Well _I'd _pay to see that, yeah," said Deidara, frowning and rolling his eyes. "Is there seriously nothing else that you know how to do?"

I scowled, thinking about all the stuff that I've done other than be a lazy failure ninja. Let's see… I pulled out weeds once for my friend's aunt, I had to watch over my neighbor's horrid smelling rodent, I had to wash an overgrown cat, and… I baby sat my friend's kid.

My eyes widened as I suddenly thought of the thing that I could do. I blurted, "Babysitting."

Deidara stared at me incredulously. After a few seconds, he snorted, "You're kidding. You're going to baby sit, yeah? I bet you'd pop a brain vessel after fifteen minutes with a kid, yeah."

"That's probably true, but there's nothing else that I could do! I could just be a nanny. It's pretty simple, I think.

"You _think._"

"I've had to baby sit my friend's kid before, and it wasn't all that horrible. She was a good kid, easy to feed, and easy to take care of!"

"… How old was she?"

"… Zero?"

"Kaori, they're going to have you baby sit ten year old brats, yeah. No good comes out of having a kid -or taking care of one."

"And how would you know?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes. Deidara shrugged.

"I didn't think a person like you would want to have kids, yeah…"

"Well, not until I'm happily married -which by the way I'm _not_. And besides, I'm not saying I want kids, I'll just be taking care of kids! Taking care of other people's children is fine by me. I think I can handle it, Deidara, because I've done it before."

"Fine," said Deidara, frowning.

"Fine."

He suddenly rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. At least he wasn't going to try and kill me. I decided that it would be best if I just tried to be his friend, just for a while. It's better than Deidara trying to kill me. I'd try not to annoy him, I decided. But that'd be hard, since it was getting easier and easier to pull his strings.

Bored, I decided to ask, "What's wrong with having kids, anyway? Do you have something against it?"

Deidara scoffed, "Hn. Kids are mostly annoying little brats, yeah."

"Oh really? And what if it was _your _kid?" I asked. And then it occurred to me how personal of a question it was, but I decided that I was too interested in hearing his answer.

Maybe I didn't have the greatest sense of humor, but Deidara's expression was _priceless_. He narrowed his eyes, scowling. He looked confused, annoyed… and what's the word for it? Like he was trying to think of a good response. Either that or he was actually thinking of how he was going to answer my question.

But then I remembered that s-ranked criminals don't have kids. Because if you have kids with someone, that means that you have to sleep with them, and if you sleep with them, you have to like or love them, and evil criminals don't love anyone (to my growing disappointment). Wait, no I didn't just think that.

I was surprised when Deidara spoke, "I don't know, yeah."

Looking up, I realized that he was a little calmer looking, face _almost _expressionless. It looked weird on him, especially since he's usually smirking, grinning, scowling, or snarling at me. But now he was just a blank? I didn't know how to reply.

But Deidara quickly shrugged it off, scowling and rolling his eyes, "I'm probably not going to have kids anyway, so it doesn't even matter, yeah."

It was almost as though he was being an ass to cover something up. I couldn't help but get a jab from it, "… Are you trying to cover something up?"

"_What _are you talking about, Kaori?" Deidara demanded, glaring at me.

Or was he? I suddenly wasn't sure, "You're embarrassed about something. What is it? Do you have a secret kid?"

"I'm not trying to cover anything up, yeah!" snapped Deidara, scowling at me.

Is he? "Fine, be an ass. Why, is it because you _secretly_, deep down want to have your own child?"

Deidara's expression changed to emptiness once more, and I paled. Say something, you bastard! Say anything! Deidara didn't speak, but instead looked up towards the stars again and muttered, "Go to sleep, yeah."

Could he be more obvious? He wanted kids.

It made my insides bubble slightly because it's… a really interesting fact, actually. Deidara just had such a major ego, was so short-tempered and hot headed, and was so stubborn, so why would a person like him want to have kids?

And he says he didn't expect me to want kids? _Him _wanting to have kids is way crazier.

Really, an s-ranked criminal, sadistic arsonist wanting to have a family? Cute (my soul died as I admit this), yet very strange.

But before I said that s-ranked criminals don't have kids. Because they have to _like _someone. So if Deidara likes someone he obviously has a person in mind? She will rue the day when I discover her name and address and ninja status. Anything below Jounin and that bitch was _so _dead.

No wait Kaori. Jealousy is bad. I usually didn't get jealous, because… I never really seriously felt this way about someone… wait. Did I just… shit!

I lay down, covering my face with my hands and peering through the gaps at the stars. If there was anything that I'd wish for, I'd wish to get over this little thing with Deidara… before it got worse.

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Haha! Short chapter. The next couple of chapters are going to be mostly fillers. I want to get to at least… seventy-thousand words before I start writing the real good stuff. Or will I? I don't know yet, just review and next chapter will be out soon! I hope._

_Please review! Reviews are love, really._

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

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_I do not own Naruto._

_Due to the fact that I cannot wait to start thickening this plot, most of these filler chapters are going to be quickly updated -well, as quickly as I can manage. As of right now, I am your regular no-lifer. No boyfriend, don't like to hang out with friends, not much homework, etcetera. So here's another update by me! Please do review once you're done!_

_Goal: Three hundred reviews by chapter fourteen… I hope I can do it! xD_

_--Chapter 12: In which there awkward conversations and flight--_

About four days of jumping through the trees and walking with Deidara. To my surprise, I hadn't been taking as much stress pills as usual. I had wondered about this for hours on end when Deidara got mad at me or when he was grumpy, but I hadn't come up with an answer… okay, that was a lie, I actually had.

It was obviously because I was so thrilled to be spending so much time with Deidara.

The three years I hadn't seen him I was practically over dosing, as corny as it is to admit. Even if Deidara's a crazy, insane person I didn't care about. I was an idiot for liking him, and I was not proud to admit that I did, even to myself.

One thing that I had been happy with about myself over all these years was my common sense. It was the one thing that I possessed that other people may have not. I believed that responsibility was important, and that common sense was something to never leave home without. Adults needed common sense. I was an adult. It all came together for me. Common sense was one of my most important personal assets.

However, if I liked an s-ranked criminal missing ninja that betrayed _my _home village, then how was that common sense? So now, I didn't even have common sense to hold onto? So what did I have?

Such a great sacrifice (common sense meant that much to me) and for what? Deidara? Like he'd ever like me back. In fact, I'd probably end up getting all disappointed because s-ranked criminals can't _feel_. Hell, I shouldn't have had any emotions, either. Shinobi don't have emotions.

Well, like the old tales say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Well, I couldn't do the time, but yet I was doing the crime. The crime being liking Deidara and the time being rejected. What was I, insane? This was not common sense -this was just my brain exploding.

Deidara stopped jumping abruptly, and I did as well, panting and sweaty. My dark brown hair stuck to my flushed face, which wasn't a pretty sight. My hair had gone to a rather ugly dark brown, and it didn't look good with my red face. I was like a rotten tomato.

"What's wrong?" I panted, trying to sound annoyed.

He rolled his eyes, shoving his hand into his clay pouch with a scowl, "I'm sick of walking, yeah."

"Well, so am I, but really… is there anything that I could possibly do about that? _No._" I said, frowning.

Deidara slowly smirked, then said, "Well, maybe there's nothing _you _can do, but I can, yeah."

"And what is that?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes.

Then, there was a large puff of smoke, as well as the sound of flapping. Flapping? What the hell was the first thing that I was going to say until I remembered something that I _should've _remembered a while ago, when I was in that library so many years ago reading about Deidara.

He could make clay models and make them ten sizes bigger so that they were suitable for him to travel on.

Well, I was a dunce, and that was the first thing that I told myself. Then the next instinct right after that was to jump out of the smoke. And that I did. I leaped out of the smoke, onto a thick branch. I peered down as the smoke began to clear, and then I saw a gigantic clay owl, Deidara kneeling on it. He smirked up at me.

"Well, aren't you going to come down, yeah?" he asked.

He smirked as I narrowed my eyes and examined the contraption. I was a stickler when it came to… _flying_. The highest I'd ever jumped was that last time when I jumped into the tree and then fell onto Deidara, which was, by the way, was very embarrassing.

But life went on. And I wasn't ready to have another life-death situation like the last one -only this time without Deidara to serve as my landing platform. I'd fall head first into the vast forest, free-falling to my horrible, morbid death.

It wasn't a lovely thing to think about.

So, I decided, screw going on the stupid bird. Even though it would be millions of times better than just walking the entire way, I wasn't exactly planning on dying. Dying with an s-ranked criminal, and not even at their hands. If there was some sort of death test that I had to take before they put me in heaven or hell, what would I possibly say when they ask how I died?

I fell off an s-ranked criminal's clay bird.

I was over thinking again, I decided. With a frown, I said, "… It doesn't look safe."

"Oh, I thought you'd be all pissed because I didn't tell you that we could've just flown there," said Deidara, shrugging, "Guess not, yeah…"

I was surprised at myself as well. Had I suddenly lost the will to be upset? Well, maybe just around Deidara. No, that was wrong. There was no acceptation for such ridiculous things. I couldn't let _one _guy have so much power over me. Wait, no he didn't have control over me. He _didn't_.

Carefully, I jumped down from the branch and landed right in front of the bird. I examined it, yelping as it tried to snap it's beak at me. Deidara snickered as he watched this, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No way in hell I'm riding on that," I said, narrowing my eyes at the bird. Would any sane human actually ride on this thing? _I _wouldn't. Then again, I was also doubting my sanity at the moment for liking Deidara, so I guess I really should say, 'would any insane human actually ride on this thing?'

Deidara obviously wasn't listening. His bird rose off the ground, and then swooped down towards me. I felt two hands grab at mine and I felt myself being yanked up painfully. I yelped as I landed on Deidara's lap.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I demanded, pushing away from him and then nervously peering down.

Running his fingers through his hair, Deidara rolled his eyes at me, "I'm getting your sorry ass to Takigakure, yeah… that's obvious enough."

I narrowed my eyes. Heights. I hated them, always had, always will. Not just because of the butterflies I got in my stomach, but because it's how many ninjas have died from falling from heights. Utterly tragic and something that I'd do anything to avoid.

I already had a close call. Didn't Deidara _realize _that?

Deciding that riding in silence was too awkward for me, I casually began a conversation, "So Deidara… when do you think we'll get there?"

"Around tonight… yeah," said Deidara, turning his head slightly. His long blonde hair was flying behind him.

Goddamn it. I shuddered at the cold, wrapping my arms around myself and then looked down once more at the trees that whizzed underneath the flying clay bird. "Is this bird considered to be art too?"

"Yeah," he answered, smirking at me.

"So this bird can explode?!" I said, eyes widening. So wait, we were flying on death? "SO basically I'm riding on a gigantic death bomb?"

Deidara rolled his eyes at my paranoia, "Kaori, I'm not going to detonate the bird while we're riding on it, yeah."

"Shit happens."

"Well not that kind, yeah… that's just retarded," he said, scowling.

I rolled my eyes, not saying anything. I tried to think back to my friends. They were all probably out doing so many wonderful things. Probably getting married, having kids, getting promotions… unlike me, who was flying on a death contraption.

Oh lucky me.

But anyway, I was already twenty-two… God I was practically a granny. Before I turned twenty, I was like every other little girl… I had no plans on getting married, having kids, or anything like that. But now, it's a big deal all of a sudden. All of a sudden, I wanted to get married.

Marriage? I barely thought about it. I think that I did once before… but not as much as I had been the past year. Ever since my twenty-second birthday on February thirteenth, I'd been thinking about it a lot. Now that I'm back with Deidara, I'll probably be thinking about it _more. _

Also, my friend was going to get married sometime in December, which was three months from now. I'd be turning twenty-three soon, and I still wasn't going to get married while all my friends were really starting their lives. I felt as though I was seriously missing out, but I didn't show it. I couldn't show it. I had no time for all that at the moment. My friends were all either ANBU or retired, and they had lots of time to get married.

Me? I was going on training so that when I came back I'd be ready for the final Jounin exams. There simply wasn't time for romance.

But hanging around with Deidara wasn't exactly making it any easier. My dreams of getting married became even more vivid, making me want it _more. _So I was very thankful that we were going to get to Takigakure right away, that way I could begin to avoid Deidara and then I wouldn't think so much about marriage.

On the subject of marriage, what kind of wedding would I want? Of course it'd be a really small wedding… perhaps during snowfall… because it was really pretty... I'd have it outdoors in the snow, wearing a thick, long coat over my wedding dress. My hair would barely be styled… snow would be everywhere with small lanterns hanging from the surrounding buildings.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Deidara asked, "What the hell are you thinking about?"

Looking up, I realized I had been staring off into space for a long time. I narrowed my eyes at Deidara, "I'm not allowed to think anymore?"

"I didn't know you were capable, yea."

"That's enough out of you," I said, frowning. I rested my cheek in the palm of my hands. Feeling like there wasn't anything that really could stop me, I asked, "Deidara, what do you think it'd be like to get married?"

Deidara stared at me incredulously, eyebrow raised, "What the hell kind of question is that, yeah? What are you, retarded? You can't ask an Akatsuki member what it'd be like to get married, yeah."

"Shut up. I was just asking," I said. Then I remembered something, "Remember when we first met? You said that marriage was like signing a contract to forever live as a slave? What did you mean by that, anyway? It barely makes sense to me."

"What the hell… obviously it means that the poor bastard that got married would have to do whatever the hell his wife says, yeah," said Deidara, frowning slightly.

"Well obviously you'd love the person you married, right?" I asked. I blushed afterward when Deidara narrowed his eyes at me. Shit!

"Shinobi don't show emotion," he said stoically, frowning and crossing his arms over his chest.

Bullshit. That was all I thought. Like hell shinobi didn't feel emotion. "That's a load of crap and you know it. Everyone shows emotion because shinobi are _human_. It's natural to feel, Deidara."

"Ninjas are trained not to feel, yeah," Deidara stated once again, frowning.

"Fine, alright you go off and believe that," I said, disappointed. So this meant that Deidara would never like me back. I wondered inwardly what would happen if he ever discovered that I had feelings for him?

I paled slightly as I thought about it. Knowing Deidara with his insane anger management problems, he'd probably go berserk and start blowing up buildings and yell at me about how stupid I was. I winced, realizing something new.

There was no way in hell I could ever tell him that I liked him. So I had to get over him, like I had planned. I was right. I needed to get over him before it turned into anything else… unless…

It already did…

No! No Kaori, it didn't turn into anything else. It's a crush that people get over. People get over crushes -and that's that. I'd get over it eventually. Besides, it was just a crush… It didn't _mean _anything.

For my sake, it better not mean anything.

That was it, I needed to know. Was it just a crush… or something else? I itched to ask someone about it. If I asked God, be probably wouldn't have time to answer me. If I asked myself, I wouldn't know the answer. So… that meant I had to ask Deidara?

Well that wouldn't be very smooth, because it'd be obvious that I liked him if I asked. But I needed to know right away.

"Deidara, remember how you were talking about how there was a difference between love and like?" I asked casually. He _had _been talking about it before. I think that it was just before we both ended up in the hospital three years ago.

He raised an eyebrow at me again, "Sure…"

"Well, what's the difference?" I asked, trying not to seem too eager for his response.

Deidara frowned, but closed his eyes. I could tell he was trying not to show his annoyance. Deidara finally said, "Because you can get over liking someone, yeah…"

I blinked. That's true… but if you can get over liking someone, how come I hadn't gotten over him yet? I paled slightly, and, thinking about my words as I said them, I asked, "So… how do you know the difference between the two?"

Deidara narrowed his eyes, "What's with the questions, yeah?! How the hell am I supposed to know what the difference is?"

I sighed, realizing that I shouldn't have said anything at all, "Never mind."

"You're weird today, yeah," Deidara stated suddenly, narrowing his eyes at me quizzically, "What's with you? Asking all these life questions like I'm supposed to know the answer, yeah…"

"That better be a rhetorical question," I said, frowning. Because I didn't know.

"It is and isn't, yeah," snorted Deidara, turning away and looking down.

-x-x-x-

We hadn't talked for a long while, and the sky was dark by now. The bird flapped its wings, and then swooped down. I gasped as the bird disappeared beneath us, and we both landed on our feet. Deidara took his scope out from his pack, placing it over his left eye. We were at Takigakure.

Well, more specifically right outside Takigakure. We were by a large waterfall, the sound of water rushing by almost deafening. I cringed as Deidara motioned for me to follow him behind the falls. With a frown, I did what I was supposed to, taking special care not to get wet.

We neared the village gates. The Hidden Falls. I'd never thought I'd have to come here for Jounin training.

Deidara handed the ninja at the gate a fake ID and passport, not really having to considering that Takigakure was almost clueless about the Akatsuki. Even I was certain of that. Only Iwagakure, Kirigakure, and perhaps Sunagakure. The other villages probably had little information or none at all.

I didn't hesitate to hand over my ID and passport -my real ones. The guard nodded at me: probably to tell me that he knew why I was there. Deidara smirked, and then we were allowed into the village.

I followed Deidara around the village, wondering how I would've ever managed to get anything done on my own. The village was filled with bright lanterns hanging from the roofs and beside the doors of the buildings, and faint sound of traditional music played distantly. We probably walked in while the village was having some sort of festival.

Deidara finally spoke, "You're lucky that you walked in on a festival, yeah… This way you might be able to get a lot of free stuff from playing games."

"Ever consider that I'm not very good at them?" I asked, rolling my eyes. I didn't want to worry about getting free things. I just wanted to get a place to stay, a bed to sleep in, and a shower. And to get away from Deidara.

"Then I'll play them for you, yeah," said Deidara, shrugging. We changed directions, and I noticed that the music was getting louder. People in brightly colored kimonos passed us, faces painted oddly. They barely seemed to notice us.

I groaned suddenly as Deidara stopped in front of a ring toss game, "Deidara, you've got to be kidding! All I want is to get somewhere to stay and we're going to waste time playing games? Why don't we just eat?"

"We _did _eat, yeah," said Deidara in annoyance, throwing a small ring and getting it over a clown's hat. I rolled my eyes.

"This is a game for kids, not men. Come on let's go," I grumbled.

He shushed me, narrowing his eyes at me as he nudged me away. His face filled with concentration as he threw the stupid hoop over the stupid clown. Again. I was tempted to pull at my hair. Either that or I wanted to ditch him. And I could've done that. It was something that I was perfectly capable of doing.

I didn't _want _to leave. I didn't. Plain and simple.

Maybe if I told myself over and over again that I wasn't in any way attracted to Deidara, I'd actually step away from the crush. It probably wouldn't work.

Suddenly, a pink cloud appeared in my face. I raised my eyebrow. I came to realize that it was cotton candy.

"What?" asked Deidara as I examined it, "Don't you like candy, yeah?"

"… I love cotton candy."

Deidara smirked, taking a bite out of his alarmingly blue cloud, "Heh, thought so."

_-- Author's Notes --_

_Ha okay another filler chapter. Boring, but it's considered an update. I think. It gets _better, _I promise. I had this all planned out during the summer. Next chapter will probably be out around Halloween-ish. Hopefully. PLEASE review because I just realized they don't send e-mails to me when the poll changes, but they do send e-mails for reviews. And I got reminded to update because of a review that I got for this story… so yeah. I swear I'll start checking my poll…_

_Nah, I don't. Please review. xD (I'm kidding… but please review. I do love them.)_


	13. Chapter 13

_I do not own Naruto._

_Oh my God this chapter was so incredibly crappy. When I finished it, I said to myself, "That was crap!" Well, let's see what the readers say! Your opinion matters much more to me than my own. xD Which probably isn't the best mindset, but alas, your opinion does matter. I have no idea if this qualifies as a filler or a real chapter… well, let's see… please review and tell me what you think!_

_--Chapter 13: In which there is reality--_

It wasn't easy. Spending time with Deidara was honestly like trying to run the edge of a sharp knife down your leg. I was always alert even though I inwardly knew that nothing was going to happen. I'd just have to be careful and make sure that Deidara didn't find out that I lo-liked him.

"Um, yes, my name is Kaori Takahashi. I'm here for Jounin training," I said to the woman behind the counter. I had gone to report to the village leader, and he had sent me to this place. But unfortunately, finding a job was something that I'd have to do on my own.

The woman behind the counter was probably in her late twenties, and had blonde hair and dull green eyes. Her eyelashes were long and her eye liner was dark. She wore bright red lipstick. Since her skin was so pale, it made her look like one of those creepy porcelain dolls whose eyes just seem to be watching you. I shivered as she blinked, slowly taking a look at my identification.

"I have sensed you before you came here. I know who you are. Your room will be on the second floor, room twenty seventeen," she said, voice sounding like it belonged to an eight year old girl.

She seemed like she belonged in a cult, "… Alright, thank you."

"I sense you're thankfulness…" she narrowed her eyes at me, and I felt her sharp eyes watching me as I walked up the stairs. I let out a large breath as I reached the second floor. My steps seemed to be uncertain as I crept through the halls. Once I reached my room, I unlocked it with my key and stepped inside, door closing behind me.

I did the traditional look around, and then threw my bag onto the chair and walked towards the kitchenette. It was clean, thank God, and had all the supplies a kitchen should have; dishes, silverware, cups, pots, pans, and larger spoons and knives.

Unfortunately, I lacked the ability to cook. Perhaps cooking classes?

But I had a thing against cooking. Not because it wasn't _good _to be able to cook well. Hell that was really useful. But the thing is that a person like me being a good cook just seemed a little weird. It was a little hard to explain, but cooking just wasn't me.

I noticed that my hotel room had a little balcony that I could walk out to. Leaving the small kitchen area, I slid open the glass door and closed it behind me, stepping out to the balcony and peering below me. There were lots of people around this time -maybe seven something PM.

Deidara was probably out doing that mission that he was babbling about the entire last night. I didn't even _listen _to him I was too busy staring. Ugh I was so pathetic, like one of those teenaged bimbos that can't even have a regular conversation with a guy because he appeared on television once in a lifetime and made out with some popular female pop star.

Honestly, such a hopeless crush. It wasn't going to work out, even if he _did _like me back. It wasn't like it was going to work out if I just randomly decided to elope with him and spend the rest of my life with him because he was in the Akatsuki, my family and friends would totally shit, and the Tsuchikage would probably send out a bunch of ANBU to branch out and drag my ass back to Iwa to interrogate me and then kill me after.

That stuff was all make believe. I knew that, because stuff like that just doesn't work. Betraying your home village for some guy? Who the hell would do that? Not even I was that retarded. But with all the movies and books that people make up just make it seem… doable.

But it _isn't. _And that's the point. Reality doesn't allow stuff like that to happen because reality's a bitch.

Due to further inspection, I realized that there was a fire escape ladder. I looked up. It was long enough for me to get up to the roof. I debated whether to go up or not, but then I remembered that I needed a job.

I glanced down. It turned out that I wasn't too high off the ground -jumping from up here wouldn't kill me, so why not? Lowering myself down the fire escape ladder, I let my self hang and then drop. Proud that I had mustered up the courage to do such a thing, I smiled as I walked through Takigakure.

Let me tell you, I was glad that I got Taki. It was a beautiful village -it seemed as though it were underwater, since in the back round all I heard was the sound of rushing water and the air smelled like water vapor. The lamps were lit even though it were morning. Finally, I stopped in front of the place that had a "help wanted" sign taped underneath the "open" sign.

I glanced at the name of the shop -it was a tea shop. On the menu that was next to the door I could see that they also served dango. And then they had many other types of tea. Glancing around to check for any other stores that needed help, I slowly walked towards the door, pushing it open and stepping inside.

There was a sound of a bell, and a short woman's head popped up above the counter. She looked like she would be in her early forties. With glasses perched on her nose and slightly graying blonde hair, it was pretty easy to tell.

"May I help you?" the woman asked, her voice cherry.

"Eh, yes, actually. I saw the help-wanted sign and… I'd like to apply for a job, please," I said. Ugh, I've always hated applying for jobs. This was probably one of those jobs where you had to fill out a form on the spot or take a quick interview. It meant that I'd have to stretch the truth, seeing as I didn't have very much past-job experience, plus I hadn't taken any extra classes that may help me… selling tea.

The woman nodded slowly, not talking for a short span of time. Finally, she said, "Ah, yes, of course. Well, would you like to take the interview right now?"

"Sure," I said, following her to the back of the shop into a small office-like room. She motioned for me to sit down on the chair across from her. I realized that she was extremely short.

"Have you had any jobs before this?" asked the woman, pushed up her glasses and eyeing me curiously.

"I've been sent on missions. I'm here for Jounin training," I said. Just about every ninja village knew about Jounin training.

The woman raised her eyebrow, "Really? May I ask your age?"

Lie. Lie. "… I'm… I'm nineteen."

"Ah, you're very young. It is impressive that you've managed to qualify for Jounin training at such a young age," she said sincerely, jotting down a note on her clip board.

Lie accomplished (once again), "Oh, um, thank you."

"However… I know for a fact that you are twenty-two," she said, a sly smile spreading across her face.

I blinked, "Huh?"

"All ninjas like yourself that come here for Jounin training have worked here -every single one. The village leader noticed this and started sending me their filed ahead of time before they apply for a job. I knew you were going to lie about your age… do not feel ashamed child. Some move at a slower pace than others."

"Um, okay," I said, nodding slightly for good measure.

"Anyhow, would you like to tell me some things about yourself? Your name, home village? Even though I know this information already, it wouldn't hurt to see if you're going to lie."

I frowned slightly, but began slowly, "My name is Kaori Takahashi, and I'm from Iwagakure… my birthday is on February seventh."

"Oh, an Aquarius. As am I," the woman said, smiling once more.

I smiled a little bit. She noticed that I was running out of things to say and said, "You know, it doesn't have to be official things… do you have any hobbies? Interests?"

"Um, not really. Back at my home town I spent a lot of time in the local library reading up on things," I replied slowly. "And I'm not really interested in anything…"

"I see. Well, I actually don't really need to interview you any further. You'll be working part-time, as you need time for training. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday you'll be working from six to eleven."

"Starting tomorrow?" I asked.

"Starting tomorrow," she said, smiling.

"Oh okay… so, I'll be going now," I said. "I need to meet someone."

"Alright. I will see you bright and early tomorrow child."

-x-x-x-

In truth, I didn't have to meet anyone -I didn't want to meet anyone. Instead of meeting anyone like I had told that lady, I decided to stop by a small ramen stand. I had ordered some plain ramen, and while I was waiting I curiously peered down the busy streets looking for something to do afterward.

Apparently there was still some big deal about some sort of festival. There were candy stands and games. Pitchmen at Karaoke stands were shouting for customers. There were large groups of teenaged girls dressed in fancy kimonos, with tons of make up and lip stick and giggling as they played plenty of games.

With a sigh, I turned towards the person that had placed a bowl of steaming broth in front of me. I thanked her, "Thanks."

"No problem!" she said cheerily, turning towards her other customers.

I ate slowly. I wasn't really hungry, to be completely honest. I was finding as many distractions as I could to keep my mind of my Deidara, training, marriage, and denial. Marriage should _not _be on my list of things that I have to keep my mind off of. I shouldn't think about marriage. I don't even have anyone in mind.

I _don't_. I _wasn't _lying to myself. Really.

After finishing my ramen, I paid the girl and left the stand, walking past a bunch of games and Karaoke clubs. My head hurt so much. I didn't want to participate in any sort of game or event. There was no way I was going to the Karaoke club.

But then I spotted a bar, stopping in my steps. Last time I had a drink was when I turned twenty-one. Some sort of wine. I remembered getting slightly tipsy, and I remember the horrible headache that I got the next day. But then I remember how good it tasted and how fun it was.

It wasn't a good idea -hell, it's the worst idea I've ever conjured. However, desperate times call for desperate measures.

I began to walk towards the bar. When I stepped inside, I was relieved that it was empty instead of filled with drunk, burly men and women. Suddenly, someone talked to me, "Welcome to my bar, honey!"

I nearly jumped, and I looked up to her. She was a tall, pretty woman, large chest (I was a little intimidated), big amber eyes, red hair and a tan. She looked like she was in her mid-thirties. She seemed nice, though.

I sat down on the stool in front of her, pushing money across the counter, "Regular sake will be fine."

"Alright honey," she said. She turned around to get my drink, but continued talking to me, "I've never seen ya around here before… and based on first impression I wouldn't expect that you'd be the drinkin' type."

"I'm not," I clarified. "I just need to clear my head."

"Drinkin' ain't the way to do that hon, I can assure you that!" the woman laughed as she placed a bottle of sake on the counter. "Guess I can't really judge, can I? Sorry to bother ya honey."

I laughed shortly, taking a sip from the bottle. It tasted good already. "As long as I don't become an alcoholic."

"Ya won't hon, I'll make sure ya don't," the woman said. She had a large voice. "Oh! I forgot to mention my name… that's a little rude of me. My name is Emi. Name certainly doesn't suit me, but there's not much I can do 'bout it."

"I don't really like my name either," I said with a shrug, taking another sip of sake.

"What is your name anyway?" asked Emi.

"Kaori," I answered. "I'm here temporarily for Jounin training."

"Wow… I'm guessin' it's a little bad of me to be givin' you sake? You look a little under aged," commented Emi. "Not to offend you."

"It doesn't. I'm actually twenty-two," I said.

"Twenty-two? Are ya married?" she asked, leaning against the counter.

"No," I replied. "And I'm guessing I won't be for quite a while."

"What makes ya say that?" Emi asked. She narrowed her eyes at me, "It better not have to do with some loser guy. Trust me, guys ain't worth stressin' over."

"No, nothing like that," I half-lied, "It's just because I'll most likely be pretty busy for a while being a Jounin and everything… and besides, shinobi aren't supposed to feel emotion."

"That's bullshit," Emi laughed, "ninjas are people. People feel. There isn't anything that anyone can do 'bout it."

I laughed shortly, "Yeah… I guess."

"It's weird seeing younger girls like you here by themselves. Usually it's just men that come here and drink alcohol until they puke," she grinned. "Are ya waiting for anyone?"

I shook my head, gulping down more sake, "I'm here alone."

She nodded, and I realized that my vision was blurring slightly.

"Can I take this to go?" I asked. "I don't want to puke in your bar."

She laughed, "Alright. Hopefully I'll see you later!"

-x-x-x-

Before I knew it, I was sitting on the roof of the hotel that I was staying at, tipping back the bottle of sake mechanically. I _wasn't _drunk. At least, not yet. One bottle wasn't enough to get me drunk. There was no way in hell I was going to risk any hangovers, either.

"I never took you as the type to drink, Ka-o-ri," said a voice from behind me.

I could _hear _the smirk in his words. My eye twitched as I turned my head to see Deidara with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes, turning away from him to overlook the village again. "I hope you've got something important to say. Anything else I don't want to hear."

Deidara scoffed, sitting next to me, "What'd I do?"

He didn't do anything. It couldn't have been more evident that I wasn't thinking things through, "… Never mind, forget that I ever said that."

Deidara ran a hand through his bangs, and I dully noted that he wasn't wearing his scope, "Did you get a job, yeah?"

"Mm-hm," I replied with a nod, sipping at my sake. "And I got a room too."

"Nice," Deidara smirked at me, and then laid down, his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. I watched him out of the corner of my eye for a moment, and, of course, I had to get caught. I quickly looked away, but he caught my blush and smirked, "What are you looking at?"

"You laying down on the roof," I muttered, taking a large gulp of sake. I was stupid enough already. At least if I got drunk I'd have an excuse, "I was merely examining your actions -no big deal."

"Whatever, you were staring at me, yeah," Deidara said with a smirk.

"Don't flatter yourself," I replied a little too quickly.

Deidara caught the quickness of my reply and snorted, but didn't say anything more. I was relieved that he hadn't said anything, and didn't start another conversation. We sat in silence for a few moments, and at odd moments I'd drink more sake.

"Hey," Deidara said suddenly, nudging my hand with his. I blushed slightly as I realized he had sat up and was sitting close to me.

I averted my eyes towards the city, "Yeah?"

"Can I have some, yeah?" asked Deidara, motioning towards my sake bottle.

With a careless shrug, I placed it in his hand, "You can have the rest… the last thing I need is to get drunk."

Deidara tilted back his head, gulping down the beverage. I crinkled my nose, scoffing and turning away to look at the city. It was pretty -I had to say. As romantic as the whole sitting on the roof overlooking a beautiful village thing was, I was hoping that I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Major denial. I decided to stop thinking about it.

Of course I was doing a terrible job. And I needed someone to talk to about it. Everyone would probably think I was crazy if I ever confided my dark, deep secrets with them -especially the ones about me liking… no. Not liking… even though I hated to say it, I think…

I really… love… -ed him…

_No! No!_ It was like the end of the world. The world suddenly pummeled down on top of me, and I felt as though there was a gigantic weight on my chest. I felt as though I was slowly being sucked into the burning trenches of hell.

Great. Just great. I didn't even want to say the word. However I couldn't think of synonyms for the term "love"… just thinking about it made me want to kill myself.

Now I was a suicide risk _and _supposedly "in l-o-v-e" with an s-ranked criminal with the potential to literally turn me into a pile of ash within mere seconds with one of his clay statue toy things. The worst thing is that this is literally "forbidden love". I could actually get persecuted for siding with a criminal.

It was just ridiculous -completely and utterly ridiculous. I shouldn't even want to be around Deidara because he's a fucking nutcase! A sadistic, fucking nutcase! And now I was going to get it.

I wasn't drunk enough for this sort of information.

Completely disregarding what Deidara's reaction might have been, I snatched the sake bottle away from his hand and tilted it back, gulping down every last drop from the bottle. It tasted awful, but what the hell my life was over anyway.

"What the hell Kaori!" Deidara snarled, snatching the bottle back from me. He narrowed his eyes as he realized it was empty. "I was drinking that, yeah!"

My head felt like crap already. I inwardly reminded myself to not overdose on headache pills the next day… well, if I remembered. With a cough, I said, "I just needed more alcohol. Apparently I miss migraines."

Deidara glared liquid flames at me for a few moments, and then decided that he didn't want to get mad at me and hid his anger (or rather, tried), "What, so you can wake up tomorrow and bitch about your stupid headaches?"

Any chances of Deidara ever liking me back seemed to be completely demolished, depressing me even _more_, "Maybe so. I seem to have forgotten what I was thinking."

"Stupid," Deidara scoffed.

I blew it. Well, wasn't I supposed to? I didn't know. With a frown, I looked at the village once again before standing up. "Well… this whole thing has been nice and all."

Deidara suddenly looked confused, "What the hell"-

"But you know what… I'm just gonna get out of here. I got a lot of work to do," I muttered, forcing myself to swallow the lump in my throat. Without even thinking, I jumped down.

As I landed, I realized that the streets were gradually emptying from its former liveliness. My vision was blurred. And surprisingly, it wasn't because I was drunk. Well, not only because I was drunk.

I was _crying. _Goddamn crying because of stupid Deidara and the stupid affair that I have with him. Ugh, affair. Just looking and thinking about the word makes me feel guilty and dirty… like a criminal. I felt like I was the worst person in the world.

It was the crappiest feeling ever.

I literally felt like I was lost. I had no idea what to do next. I could go back to my room, go walk around the streets some more, go back to Emi and get myself wasted, go home… and I didn't even know which ones were sensible and which one's weren't. So much for my common sense.

With no personal assets, no common sense, no plans, and no thoughts, I was feeling crappier and crappier.

I blamed Deidara for everything. It's his fault that he's too nice to me -he isn't supposed to be nice. He's supposed to threaten to kill me, he's supposed to not be with me, he's supposed to be off wrecking havoc somewhere that's far away from me. He shouldn't remember me. He shouldn't know I exist.

But damn it all he's just different! S-ranked criminals aren't supposed to be like that!

Deidara's stupid. He's an asshole, he's cocky, he's violent, he's a preacher, he blows things up, he's sadistic, and he's hot-headed so why? For God's sake why? Why _me? _I felt cheated, because Kami knows that Deidara would never like me.

He's just paying back what he owes. He said it himself. Maybe he thinks of me as a friend but that's it.

I realized that I was still standing in the middle of the street. I looked around, realizing that Deidara hadn't followed me. He didn't care.

It just made it all worse. I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to stay calm. I tried to make myself stay myself. I didn't want to be one of those love-struck girls from back home. I didn't want to be the main character in a movie.

I didn't want any of it!

But still I couldn't help it. No matter what I did I'd still always love that stupid man! No, not even. More like… that stupid… thing!

He didn't even care about me, so I didn't even know why.

So screw it all, I thought. I'd just have to get on with it. Tomorrow I had training to do, and I wasn't going to get any of it done if I kept on worrying about Deidara. I forced myself to walk, even though I just wanted to go cry somewhere.

I forced myself to continue on like nothing ever happened because it wasn't supposed to happen… at least, not to me. I just didn't fit in the role of a "girl in love". Not just because it's stupid, but because… it just won't happen.

That's what depressed me the most.

I stopped walking.

Dear lord what the hell was wrong with me. Trying to calm myself down, I closed my eyes, trying to think of all of the things that I could do to stop this madness. I was mortified when I realized there wasn't much.

I could just avoid Deidara and hope that he gets some sort of girlfriend, forcing me to get over him. Or, I could just start liking someone else. But then, _who? _I couldn't believe it, but Deidara was special.

I was being stupid again.

I turned around, making my way back to the hotel. Deidara would probably be gone by then. I'd have time to sort out… my head. Feeling ridiculous, I walked back to the hotel, blinking back the blurriness in my eyes.

Once I reached my room, I closed the door behind me, letting myself falling onto my bed.

It had been horrible. All of it. The only good thing was that I was being honest with myself. At least.

What happened to me? It was though I had lost all sense of maturity just because of a _boy. _This only happened to twelve-year-old girls and in movies. This wasn't me, it couldn't have been.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes, drifting off into a sleep.

_--Author's Notes--_

_Oh well… this one had a lot of Kaori-rambling. My, she does go hard on herself, doesn't she? xD Poor Kaori. Even I feel sorry for her. Well, plot is thickening, for those of you who skimmed the entire thing (I would've to… such a bore). Well, hopefully it wasn't too boring. Tell me what you think! Reviews, sil vous plait (a glimpse of my awful French… "sil vous plait" means "please" xD)_

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	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… it's quite unfortunate, too, since really I would've liked to. However, this storyline is completely and utterly mine. The title… eh, isn't mine, I guess, but the plot is mine, I say!

Overall chapter summarization and author commentary: As you can clearly see, this story has turned out to be one of my favorites! I enjoy every moment I write a new chapter, and I'm overly excited to complete it.

This chapter's another somewhat filler… sorry to disappoint you guys. But I promise that it's not going to be a complete bore… like most of my chapters are. This one's actually gonna have something interesting in it!

- - - - -Ten Things I Hate About You- - - - -  
_By: baxtierfoxox_

Chapter 14: In which there are overdoses

"You're going now?" He wore a different cloak that day -all black and hooded. He was in the process of putting away his eye contraption.

He snorted, "No use staying here, yeah."

He looked pretty mad -that I knew. Deidara was speaking in monotone, holding in his anger but not enough. I didn't know what was wrong with him. I didn't know what he wanted me to say or do. So I just did nothing.

I watched as he just _fucking left_.

A giant bird appeared in a cloud of heavy smoke, whipping around Deidara's blond hair. His eyes were lowered to the ground, as though he was considering something. When he finally looked up at me, he narrowed his eyes. With a final scoff, he jumped on his bird and took off.

I wanted to throw something at him, to see if he was even sane enough to beat me up. Because really, he was acting like a _child_.

Exhaling, I turned around and left. It didn't make a difference whether Deidara was there or not. I was pretty sure life would have been better off without him, anyway.

What I didn't understand, though, was what happened next. My body endured what is legitimately referred to as a series of spasms. My heart beat was pounding in my eardrums, and it felt like my brain was outgrowing my skull.

The muscles in my legs gave out, and I found myself face-down on the grass, spitting out dirt and clawing at the soil.

Was I _dying_?

Perhaps I was just impatient, perhaps I _wanted _to die. I didn't know what I was doing. I realized it was just a headache -a migraine- a _terrible_ migraine. It was my cross to carry. The burden that I've faced head on my entire life.

I scrambled on the ground; flopping on my back and panting. My hands shook violently, and my skin paled. The pills within the tall container rattled vigorously as I struggled to open it. Unbeknownst to myself as I vainly swallowed the pills, I was actually taking more than my doctor had told me to.

Instead of _two _pills in my mouth, going down my throat, I had _three_.

Maybe even _four_, but I was so out of my mind, I could barely count properly. The pills were clogged in my throat, and I knew pain was aching in my back. I let out a frustrated yelp of pain, coughing and gagging.

It was too late, I had taken the pills.

Fortunately, the acids in my stomach that were meant to diminish the pill into nothing resented something; I suppose it's just a reflex. I found myself on my knees, coughing vehemently, and finally puking my guts out.

Unfortunately, however, my headache was not cured. And to add on to the string of misfortune, I began to hyperventilate.

Taking quick intakes of air and grasping onto the grass for dear life, I found myself doing something that I _never _had _dared _to do before. Something that I, in the process of discovering closure, would do.

I didn't know what provoked me to do so, or how mind-fucked I was at the moment. But I found myself _screaming_, at the _top _of my lungs one thing.

"_DEIDARA!_"

I had no time to "cancel" the call for backup, or even inwardly scold myself for doing something unnecessary. All I knew was that I needed help. I have no idea what encouraged me to believe that _Deidara _would help me at all in my situation, but he was the only person around.

My consciousness gave out.

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I wasn't an honest person to anyone but myself. Everyone else I needed to lie to for some reason; perhaps it was the relevancy of where they stood on my little radar or maybe because I was just that insecure.

But for the maybe the third time in my life I was questioning my existence? Wondering what the _hell _angels were thinking "blessing" my parents with "me".

I knew I was awake, because all of a sudden I was alive. Before I had actually been in nothingness -I had no words to explain myself, no time to endure, and no memories to prove it had happened. It was just a gap in my life that I had missed. Much like sleep, only even sleep hadn't been so empty.

Nothingness was scary. Being void of any reality frightened me. It made me fear death more than I ever had before. The experience of "death" was overwhelming me, and, unbeknownst to myself, was distracting me.

I opened my eyes.

Unlike I would have expected, I didn't find myself in a sterile hospital room. I didn't see anyone around, or at least some medication or stray bags or a camp fire. I saw nothing that would represent any other person, other than myself.

"Breathe…" I reminded myself.

It felt as though I hadn't attained the full capacity of my lungs; as if I'd been smoking.

Something inside of me died as I realized Deidara hadn't come back for me. He had left me there, knowing that there was a substantial possibility that I could have been getting killed, kidnapped, or seriously hurt. He had left me there to die.

I was against obnoxious weeping, and crying altogether. Therefore, I refused to let my eyes sting. I refused to be the one getting hurt.

I had lucked out, after all. I could've actually died. But I was lucky. I was just so damn lucky.

"How _sad_," I muttered, sarcastically sympathizing myself in my pathetic position.

Getting up, I dizzily found my way towards the trunk of a wide oak, resting the side of my head against the bark. I breathed as much of its smell as I could, relishing the scent of wilderness and embracing the tree.

I closed my eyes, far more relaxed then I ever found myself.

What had happened to Kaori?

I wasn't even sure.

I pushed away from the tree, glancing back once more at the place where I had passed out, the ignored white splotch that contrasted against green -the proof that I had overdosed. And finally, I glanced up at the many leaves that swayed on the many branches, the sun's rays peaking through the rare gaps.

With a final shrug and a moody snort, I began to walk towards the village, hugging my arms while digging my nails into my own skin.

I was thinking -hard. Too hard.

The thought of Deidara not being on my side anymore sickened me. We'd actually _bonded_, became friends, and learned a lot about one another. The gradual friendship that we had created, had it truly been so delicate and fragile? Had I actually ruined it just by walking away from him? It took me so long to even get him to stop hurting me, and to make him understand that I wasn't going to turn on him.

But I had so easily, and all because I was just so frustrated with him. I was forgetting so easily that he didn't know.

By the time I had returned to the village, I was pissing vinegar. I was _seething _pissed. Not at Deidara, but at myself. For being so stupid. For once again suffering for the stupid stuff that _I did_.

All of this -my spiraling down, losing Deidara, losing my lung capacity- resulted in me imprisoning myself in my hotel room, locking, bolting, blocking, and, locking the door, calling in sick for work, and sitting down on a chair with a large bottle of wine.

I popped off the cork, taking long sips.

I ignored the sound of the heater's stirring, and allowed thoughts to swarm my head once again.

I was _such _a bitch.

So was life.

I drank.

I was a loser.

Deidara won. Again.

Another drink to that.

By the time I had finished my little I suck, he rocks thinking process, the wine bottle was half empty -which is, legitimate evidence that I am a complete pessimist. Not that I was completely negative, but being positive was too much of a drag.

Deidara _ditched _me here. He was pretty pissed, too. Maybe he'd kill me next time he saw me. Damn.

I took another long drink, and the wine bottle was empty.

My idiotic grin was a sign that I was going to be _drunk _by the end of the day. It was probably nine o'clock in the morning. God, I was such a loser. I didn't care, though, because desperate times called for desperate (stupid) measures.

Once I started on my second bottle, it was as though _everything_, every stupid thought that I had, made absolute sense.

Example: Deidara's my friend. His Akatsuki pals won't kill me, right?

Another long sip.

It was amazing, though. I wasn't _drunk_.

By the third bottle, I was digging through the drawers of my hotel room with a plastic bag in my hand. There were lots of crap that the hotel room had -phone books, magazines, spare batteries, pens, notepads -this all ended up in my plastic bag.

I went to the washroom, gathering all the free lotions, shampoos, and soaps that I could. The soaps were _striped lime green and pink_. I thought that was pretty awesome in my tipsy state.

Forth bottle, I had ordered all of the sweet dumplings that the restaurant in next to the lobby had. My speech hadn't slurred, thus, no one suspected I had been drinking.

After I finished my sweet dumplings, I began to tie the stray sticks together with spare hair ties and made a boat.

Fifth bottle, I was sobbing vehemently as I brushed my teeth. No, I don't remember _why _I had brushed my teeth. Maybe I thought that my breath stunk or something, and maybe it'd go away if I brushed my teeth.

And I don't have words to explain the crying.

But then, after I had successfully polished off _five _bottles of wine, I was laying face-down on my bed, head throbbing and hands trembling. My muscles ached -all of them- but I still wanted to move around.

My insanity was interrupted by obnoxious knocking on the window. I moved just the slightest, peeking over the range of pillows to see a darkly clothed figure by my window.

I didn't think. I scrambled out of bed and rushed to unlock it, allowing the figure inside.

"You're a mess," he snorted. He blinked with slight surprise at my indecent exposure.

"What do you want?"

"Sweet dumplings. But apparently _this _particular room inhabitant had bought all of it, yeah." he scoffed, narrowing his eyes at me accusingly. He pointed at my pathetically made boat, "What the _hell _are you _doing?_"

I allowed his sarcasm to go directly over my head. "Honestly? Nothing."

Irritated, he glanced around the room. He eyed the bags of renewable (and free) complimentary treats that I had stuffed into a plastic bag, the stick boat, the tooth brush, the tissues, and the five empty wine bottles.

Finally, he turned to me, amusement flickered in his eyes as he stated; "Oh, I get it. You're drunk."

"Wouldn't dream of it. My parents would kill me."

He snorted, walking over to the boat and picking it up skeptically, "You handle the alcohol better than I expected, yeah."

"Uh-huh," I murmured in response, sitting back down on the bed and rubbing my temples.

He looked over at me, noticing my distress.

"Sorry," I muttered, meeting his blatant stare, "about the dumplings."

"You should be." His apathetic way of talking -and acting- was irritating me. "Now I have to go somewhere else, yeah."

"And also… I'm sorry. About that time I… I got mad at you for no reason. I was stupid."

"You were," he agreed with a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes. "…"

Averting my gaze, I brought my legs up to cross them. I didn't watch Deidara as he shuffled around the room.

"Kaori."

"What?"

"Why were you crying? I don't know you were capable, yeah."

I looked up at him, I noticed that he was sitting on a tall stool. He rested his chick in the palm of his hand as he looked down at the pile of still-wet tissues; he was bored. He glanced at me, waiting for my reply.

"Homesick," I replied shortly.

"Really now?" he snickered.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "None of your business."

"Whatever," he scoffed. He closed his eyes.

"You wouldn't get it, anyway," I added unnecessarily.

He didn't contradict me, as I had been expecting him to. Instead, he cast me an annoyed glare before closing his eyes and grumpily resuming his "resting" posture. I scowled at him.

"Aren't you going back?" I demanded.

"I was," he grumbled forcefully. "But I changed my mind, yeah."

"Interesting," I commented.

"Hm."

He was tame; bored and tired. My mouth twitched to an unintentional smirk. "You're strangely quiet today."

Deidara scowled at me, growling, "So?"

"It's cute."

He feigned a disgusted expression, "_Cute_, yeah?"

"Mm-hm, got a problem with it?"

"Tons," he grumbled. "That's downright fucking disturbing, Kaori, to call me cute."

I thought so, too. But it was too late to be embarrassed. I just blinked, and then shrugged.

For a moment, all was quiet.

Finally, he muttered, "You're quiet."

My eyes widened with sudden surprise. "W-What…"

"It's cute."

Finished Chapter 14!

Author's notes: Ta-daa! I updated, just for you guys. Because I think that you guys are awesome. This story is not going to be on hiatus, because I don't usually do that to stories that are this far along… because you know, that's pretty cruel.

Also because this story gets the most "votes" on my freakin' SWEET poll. Um… well go check it out if you haven't already, and vote for the story that you want updated! Yeah~!

I hope that you enjoyed this lovely little chapter. It's short, but I think it's pretty sweet. Please review and tell me what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

I do not own Naruto. Any resemblance to an existing plotline is completely coincidental. I claim nothing but the plot and the lovely OC that I named Kaori.

Alright, well… I don't know, I really like this story. I think that I've been doing pretty well keeping this story updated properly and keeping everyone in character. Deidara seems alright. Since the actual anime hadn't really kept him alive long enough to know if he's capable of "crushing", well, they did keep him long enough for me to get a hang of his explosive (ha) character. Enjoy!

- - - - -Ten Things I Hate About You- - - - -  
by, baxtierfoxox

Chapter 15: In which Deidara leaves

I woke up, immediately feeling like I was in hell. My head throbbed -hangover. With a muffled moan, I managed to roll over, and off of the bed.

Tangled in my sheets, I miserably curled up on the ground. I didn't know what time it was. It was still dark outside, and that was the only thing that I could conclude at the moment. Somehow, I managed to hobble to my knees, resting my chin on the edge of the bed. There was a lump.

It was still dark, so I couldn't identify the lump on my bed. Maybe I was still a little bit drunk. I crawled onto the bed, beside the lump. I poked it. I didn't want to deliberate on the appropriateness of my poking.

The lump mumbled something, and rolled over.

My blood ran cold. _Deidara?_

Abruptly, memories of muttering something along the lines of, "sure, you can sleep on the chair or something" came back to me. But I _never _invited him to sleep on the _bed _with me.

No, no I did not sleep with him. That would've been _clichéd _and _disgusting_. And even though I was in no condition to be talking to sane people, I did remember exactly what I had said to Deidara. There were some blank spaces, but damn it, I did _not _say he could sleep on the bed!

I didn't feel like it was important enough to wake him up and yell at his face. I didn't even _care_. He must've just crawled up from whatever corner he had fallen asleep in. He probably thought I wasn't even there.

I rolled out of bed again, dragging myself to the fridge. I opened the door, relishing the cool air that wafted out. I opened a carton of milk, pouring it into a wine glass -that being the only thing available in the cupboard.

I drank. Damn, I hated hangovers.

I poured another glass -for Deidara. He'd need it, too. I walked back to the bed, on Deidara's side. I placed his glass on the side table and placed my hands on his side. I shook the lump.

"Hey," I muttered. "Up."

I managed to catch his mumbled protest as he rolled over into a ball. I twitched. What kind of s-ranked criminal slept in _that _position? Maybe later I'd bother him, but I was either too peeved or too hung over to take it too seriously.

"Get up," I ordered, voice more firm than it had been the first time.

Finally, he pushed himself up. He looked at me, eyes narrowed in a blatant glare. I narrowed my eyes back at him, offering the glass of milk. He eyed it for a few moments, probably thinking, 'what the hell is this strange white liquid?' After all, people had tendencies to be rather tedious after getting drunk. Or at least after drinking. Deidara hadn't gotten as drunk as me.

He finally took it from me, drinking it slowly, "Thanks."

"Mm-hm," I mumbled back.

He flipped his legs over the side of the bed, lazily resting his elbows on his knees. I sat down next to him, following his gaze. I realized that he had taken a particular interest in the painting. It was a teddy bear, shrunken to the size of a leaf, and peeking over the edge of a flower pot.

I couldn't help myself. I thought it was creepily cute.

"I'm not that hung over, yeah," Deidara mentioned.

I managed to ignore him.

"You okay?" he asked me, eyeing me while giving me that amused smirk of his. Most likely my tangled hair, tired eyes, and the dried drool on my cheek.

I responded with an upraised finger.

He snorted, mimicking my action. "Attractive."

"Very."

His smirk widened slightly, and white teeth were visible.

"You know," I began. "I never actually said that you could crawl into my bed."

Deidara snorted, running his hands through his loose hair, "As if you even minded, yeah."

No, I hadn't minded. If anything, I _loved _it. But my thoughts didn't matter, feelings meant nothing. It was the fact that I shared a bed with him that disturbed me. Anything within a foot's distance of a man lying down was considered _tainted_ and _inappropriate_.

There were a lot of other words to describe it, but I really didn't feel like elaborating it.

"Well, fuck me."

My head snapped towards Deidara, who was growling slightly as he eyed his ring. "What?"

"I have to go," he told me. "Now."

Before I could stop myself, I blurted, "Why?"

"I don't know, yeah," he snapped. "Damn it, these rings are annoying."

He stood up, pacing the room and picking up items that were scattered across the floor. This included his Akatsuki cloak, some weapon pouches, and a bottle of wine. My mouth quirked upwards slightly at the sight. He was _losing it_.

As he popped open the window, I found myself asking yet another thoughtless question, "Are you going to come back?"

"Depends on your reasons to, yeah," he snorted.

Without another word, he jumped out the window.

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Training. That's what I needed. Endless hours of immense training to be better. Better than I was before.

Punches, seeing through illusions, aiming, jumping trees, using my sword, walking up trees, walking on water, jumping, transporting. It was all coming back, slowly, but surely coming back.

Although I was _sort of _making process, I knew one thing in the back of my mind.

I needed a training partner.

I rammed my fist into the tree again. My bloodied fist meant little to me. It was disgusting, with all of the splinters that I had earned myself. But still, I needed it. No, I deserved it. Whatever pain I went through, I totally deserved it.

And that was all the consolation I needed to continue.

I kicked the makeshift dummy of sticks and a pair of overalls stuffed with grass and stuff. It wavered on the spot, looking incredibly weak. I frowned, faintly imagining Deidara's head. With sudden force, and kicked it right in the groin.

I pushed adjusted my bangs and pushed back my hair.

That should _not _havefelt as good as it did. Damn it, I was kicking the ass of a dummy! It had nothing down there! But still, I couldn't help that stupid feeling of satisfaction as I imagined the dummy -with Deidara's head somehow pasted on top- writhing in pain and withering to nothing on the ground.

It was a shame that I didn't have to go to work that day. I needed a distraction.

I rammed my fist to the dummy's stomach, and jumped back. I drew my sword, parried, and then swiped. Piles of grass fell out of the deflated dummy's stomach. I sheathed my sword.

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Facedown on my bed I lay. I grumbled at the sound of the television set. It was really just a stupid sparkling box of excitement. But it corrupted people's thoughts, made people sad, or… very happy.

Internally, I was probably blowing up. All I ever felt was depression. The need to drink more alcohol and eat more dango -the two things that reminded me of Deidara. The possibility of me going insane was promptly ignored. Who the hell _cared_? Deidara was gone, he wasn't coming back, and we'll probably never meet again. It was depressing -it sucked.

All Deidara had to do was get amnesia and we'd have a soap opera.

Feeling ultimately sorry for myself, I buried my face in the pillow again, contemplating over the suck-ish thing which was life, and how just living it sucked so much more than just existing in it. Why couldn't I have been born something else? Like a rock.

I'd make a good rock. I'd sit there all day, doing nothing (like I already do). I'd have no effect on anyone, no one would have an effect on me, and I would be left to think what I wish.

The sound of knocking interrupted my irrelevant train of thoughts.

Suddenly, the sound of shattering glass met my ears. I ran towards the sound of the noise. Near the window, there were shards of glass near the ground, and, in the center of it, a jagged rock.

"Sorry about the window, yeah."

I picked up the rock. My eyes stung slightly, but I grinned anyway.

Fucking rock got me good.

End Chapter Fifteen!

I'm done! Alright, thanks for reading. This chapter was a little boring, but I liked it anyway. I can't really add anything else to it… unless you want me to make the training scene or the thought sequence longer. That would just suck more, I think.

Um, well, reviews? :P


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All I own is the plot (which isn't very extravagant) and any relations that my story may have to other ones that exist is coincidental.

My chapters have been getting shorter, and I don't like that. So this one is actually a double chapter… I hope you guys don't mind. Romance is probably not going to carry over _just _yet, but I promise that something will happen soon, hopefully.

There's a lot of swearing in this chapter, I don't know why. Kaori is just _losing _it. xD

- - - - -Ten Things I Hate About You, Chapter 16- - - - -  
by: boxinlove

IN WHICH it just sinks…

I eyed the vacant armchair with wry, tired eyes. Rings were starting to form around them -not good. Devastation would be too powerful of an adjective while disappointed would be an understatement. I don't want to say _betrayed_, because Deidara hadn't ever made a promise to stay with me.

I shouldn't have been surprised.

My heart beat slowed as I struggled to maintain my calm. This was not going to get to me. Even though I had been inexplicably, undoubtedly _ditched_ -that was the term. I vaguely remembered saying the strangest things in my years as a youth… I'd like to say that these years are still _continuing_, but due to past proofs and current situations, I have to say that I am, though at a premature age, going _senile_. And perhaps maybe a little bit disoriented, as proven by my aimless wandering and weary expression.

And I had been feeling so brilliant that day, too. I always ended up losing things just as I got them. My _life_, my _sanity_, and now _Deidara_.

No one gave a shit, but I did. I gave _lots of shits_.

Frustrated over my inner turmoil, I could react in no other way other than crumple into a ball onto the couch and bolt my eyes shut. There was no expression that would fully illustrate what I was _going through_.

Pissed off, sad, angry, pissed off.

_DAMN IT._

I wasn't a little girl anymore. I was too late in my life to be worrying about bull shit like this. I just needed to complete whatever the hell I had to do here, and then get the fuck out. Just get out.

The sooner I got home, the sooner I got away from Deidara, and the sooner I could return to my life. Although I had wanted to abandon it so much in the past, I couldn't help but grudgingly admit to myself that my boring, unproductive, detached life that I lead was the only way that I would ever sustain any form of sanity. I wasn't fit to join the other members of civilization in normalcy. I made friends, I took some boring jobs, but still I wasn't ready for this.

Not just yet.

"Get your shit together," I admonished myself silently under my breath, running my fingers through my tangled hair. "God, just shut up and pull it together. Hurry."

I swallowed two pills, followed by a raspy cough.

From now on, I'd be liable to suffer from small things that come in my way, only because for so long I'd been sheltered by the caring bubble of my parents. They'd never let me live normally, they would influence in such a way that made me hold irrevocable resentfulness towards socializing with others my age, and I never really got the gist of what it would have been like without them. I'd been spoiled rotten, and now I was predisposed to suffering in the real world. Maybe they just never expected for me to get this far.

I sure as hell didn't expect to get this far. I knew who I was. Damn it, didn't the Tsuchikage realize that I hadn't done anything in the last fourteen years that I was a kunochi?

_Be mature_. _Deep breaths. Just calm down._

"Besides"- I huffed out, opening my eyes, "He has long hair. I… shouldn't like guys with long hair."

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Lame -denial, even.

I drowsily noted to never drink alcohol again -but still, I sipped at my sake as I flipped through a weapons magazine. I managed to apprehend that kunais were available in a store about a block away from where I was _half price_. I'd never had to worry about financial issues, but now that I was off on my own, I had no choice but to set budgets and watch what I spent.

And I was wasting about eleven dollars on sake.

There was one saying that I remembered from my childhood. It went like; whenever you're about to do something, and you're not sure if it's right, imagine that you parents, your sensei, and the ANBU were behind you and imagine their reaction to what you were about to do. It meant little to nothing.

But still, considering it now that I was on my stomach on the floor drinking sake, I really should've thought more about it.

My parents would go berserk if they saw me like this. It almost made me laugh.

"No time for jokes," I reminded myself. "Concentrate. You need a new sword -concentrate."

It was true. My sword had deteriorated long ago -the hilt is scuffed, the blade is dented and blemished, and the edge of the blade was dulled. There were no more questions that could possibly contradict my reasoning -I needed a new sword.

There was no time to worry about money. This had to do with my training, and right now, training came before everything, whether it was clothes, entertainment, and food. Yes, food.

If I didn't pass the Jounin test this year, either I could quit (I would happily do so if my parents weren't so hell-bent on keeping me in) or redo the whole thing again. Just the thought of coming back to Takigakure made me shiver.

Remaining a Chunin was an option as well, but sure as hell not one my parents would let me consider.

I took out a pen, sprawling a short note on the side of one of the swords marked for sale. I also had many bookmarks sticking out of the water-stained pages of the magazine, so that later I could consider my options in a neat, organized fashion.

I ripped out a page.

I was done, I found my sword.

Pleased with my efforts, I crumpled the page with the picture and price into a ball, stuffing it into my pocket. I got up on all fours, reeling back so that I was sitting on the balls of my feet. Pushing my hair behind my ears, and began to collect the many different magazines that were scattered before me, pages stained with spilled sake, scribbled on with pen, and crumbled from my reoccurring position shifting. Holding back a suffering sigh, I piled them all up before standing. I took strides which held authority as I dumped all of the magazines into the garbage can with satisfying _thwap_.

No, it was not a word. It was meant to mimic a _sound_. It was onomatopoeia.

Much like _bang_.

I grimaced -so much for my rather fortifying attempt of avoiding the topic which was Deidara. He had been missing for about three days already. I'd sort of gotten over it, but then again, with all the stuff that had been revolving around my little world lately, who knew what I really felt?

I made too many mistakes. I _hated _making mistakes, especially the sort that would eventually jump out of the ground and stab you right in the ass.

With a defeated grumble, I eventually pulled a sweater over my head and drained the residue of sake from the bottle, placing it onto the counter to be neglected with the rest of the sake bottles identical to itself.

Taking one last abashed overview of my disarray setup, I opened the door and threw myself out.

Rather literally.

I flew down the staircase, apologizing hastily to the woman who took about five minutes to scold me about respecting my elders before continuing on with a huff, and then running out of the lobby door.

There were moments in my life where I called myself a hermit, and times where I felt like I was in the Academy again. This day was one of those youngster days -I hadn't missed them so much. People my age had a tendency to complain about their age, how life was going by so fast, etcetera. There was no point in my life I wanted to return to though. I kid you not; my entire existence, by now, seemed to have gone to waste since already I had abandoned my ambition to be a dentist for _this_.

My migraine was almost comforting as I coaxed myself into walking through the doors, entering the weapons shop. Behind the counter was a man with tired eyes, watching me uncaringly as I prodded the many swords while comparing them to the crumpled image that I had ripped out of a magazine from before.

I finally found the sword. The grip was made of a black fabric, and the blade was quite evenly balanced. The edge was sharp and thin, guaranteeing me a clean shear with a single swipe. It looked simplistically _awesome_.

I couldn't help but feel a _little _giddy as I walked to the counter and paid for my merchandise.

I clicked my tongue as I exited the store, holding a long, wooden box with my newest instrument of swordplay was swaddled in silk.

I practically ran to the training grounds.

Perturbed by my enthusiasm towards my new sword, I calmly placed the box down, patiently sliding the thin plank of colored wood away, lifting up my katana by its hilt and allowing the silk to fall deftly to the grass.

I faced the dummy with newfound petulance. My eyes narrowed with uncontained irritation as I brandished my sword tenaciously, shearing the head off with one swipe. I found no pride in my action, but I continued. I stabbed at the dummy, leaping over it and swiping it from behind. It wasn't like I was improving, but I did feel a hell of a lot better.

It was good therapy. I would remember it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My eyes opened, and I found myself sleeping on the carpet of the floor -again.

I forcibly stood, marching myself to the washroom. I splashed water onto my face vigorously, putting my hair up into a ponytail, including my bangs. I threw on a sweater over my baggy shirt, not caring I was still in my sweatpants. And finally slipping on my sandals, I dragged myself to the teashop for work.

Chest puffing with pride as I realized how fast I had managed to make it to work, I rounded the counter and hopped onto the tall stool. A girl came from the kitchen, glancing at me, and then ducking away again.

I was freaking the world out with my bitterness.

"Green tea, lady," a plump little boy told me, "For mama."

I hurriedly retrieved the drink, and then gave it to the small boy, "Here."

"Thanks much," he said shortly, turning on his heel and walking out the door.

I mumbled under my breath, burying my face in my palm with distress. Evidently I would not live past this day. Hell was ascending, books were illiterate, putting lipstick on pigs made them more appealing, and approximate meant the same thing as exact… the whole shebang.

The sky darkened substantially, and I noticed that many people were now beginning to walk as a multitude towards the same direction. I raised a bemused eyebrow, watching curiously as many children with face paint pointed towards the sky. Some shinobi had attended as well, clad in ANBU uniforms and wearing the trademark white masks. Their dead eyes stared at nothing as they stood stationary against the walls of buildings, armed with whatever they needed to fight. No one seemed to mind them too much though.

My heart nearly burst with panic -was Takigakure under attack? No, decidedly they weren't. If Takigakure was under attack, surely the ANBU wouldn't be so ignorant and slow as to allow pedestrians roam the streets freely.

There must've been some sort of festival, I established balefully. Yearning to find a distraction, I settled my gaze on the obsolete cash register. Of all the days I had worked at the tea shop, I'd never seen any of the other employers use it, nor have I. I resigned from pressing rusty buttons, but instead defaulted to a calculator and a box with a dial on it.

A faint crackle in the distance woke me up.

Without a second thought, I blindly charged outside of the door, whisking past the many families and ANBU members that flinched with alarm. I whipped my head around frantically, desperately searching for the source of the familiar sound.

Only to see sparks of color illuminate the sky.

Dejected, my heart dropped, but still I found myself stuck among the many people that had come to watch. People averted their startled stares from me, and resumed looking up at the stars. I wanted to sneer at them for their blatant discrimination, but decided that they had a right. Instead, I grudgingly crossed my arms over my chest and joined the rest as they watched the fireworks with awe.

An obnoxiously loud whistle pierced through the silence, and a streak of light cut through the sky, exploding with colorful sparks and sinuously twirling into the black clouds, occasionally colliding with other fireworks, creating the illusion of sparkles raining from the sky.

My eyelids lowered in disdain. Was I actually finding interest in this ridiculous activity? Cracked. I had finally cracked.

The squeal of an infant brought my out of my trance, and I darted my gaze towards it. She cowered in fear behind her father, who happened to be a shinobi. A quick look of alarm crossed over my face before I turned my head away, pretending not to notice the irritated glare I received from the Jounin father.

I resumed my activity of watching the colorful sparks.

Though still, I was interrupted by my boss, who asked why I had left my position. I sheepishly pressed my palms together, "Ah… sorry, sorry… I got distracted by the fireworks. I thought that it was something else and ran outside to investigate."

"We have many festivals in this village," she noted briskly, though her crinkled eyes and small smile assured me she wasn't angry.

I nodded, looking up at the sky again, "They are very pretty."

I wasn't even lying.

"They are," she agreed quietly. "Would you like to take the rest of the time off? I'm sure that the shop would've been empty anyhow, with the festival and activities."

Thankfully, I smiled, "Thank you. Sorry again."

"It's alright."

Without another word, she turned and disappeared in the crowd. Face hardening, I peered up into the sky again. The new fireworks that were flying were much more advanced, twirling and creating the image of intertwining, braiding ropes of light before simultaneously bursting with blue and purple sparkles, appearing like a newly blossomed rose.

I triumphantly concluded that there was no way in _hell _that Deidara would ever create something so beautiful.

He was evil, cruel, sadistic, and quite delirious to believe for one moment that_ explosions_ were art. The very image of human entrails being strewn in random directions, blood raining down moments after the eardrum shattering _bang _sounded. God, it was hardcore macabre. I didn't want to know Deidara's reasoning, how he even started to believe all of these things that he's so heart-set on. Maybe that's why I can't even get to know him; because I don't want to encourage his insanity that is blowing things up.

Did I truly consider a Deidara an artist? Hell no -god damn it that was the last thing I would consider him to be. I nearly laughed out loud as I took great pleasure in the fact that Deidara would've been extremely insulted by my last thought.

He was rubbing off on me. Just wonderful.

Maybe I, too, was out of my mind. Considering my utter lack of exposure to stable society and decent conversations for the last couple of weeks, I would barely be surprised. My only company had been Deidara.

Damn it -I should elope with that slightly underweight twenty-year-old medic genius from Iwa. Maybe my self-esteem will rise just a little bit.

My stomach sank. God, I knew what this feeling was.

I was… lonely.

I mouthed the word, and it seemed so foreign and strange on my tongue, although I hadn't fully went through with the full vocalization of the thought. Never in my entire life would I have thought that I'd be feeling this kind of loneliness.

There were people everywhere, a lot of them had come on their own, and it was pathetic of me to just give up and bitch about it. As if I'm any different.

And so what if Deidara wasn't there? It was almost a good thing. Typically he'd just blather on incessantly about his art, how brilliant it is… and I'd just be thinking that he isn't an artist, how disgusting he is… how-

…much I adored him.

He really was great. He was _great_. He was a little mental, conspicuously homicidal, confidently assertive and dismissive all at once, but still, damn, he was great. No use denying it now. Especially to myself.

Maybe I was the one mental.

I was mental.

My inner turmoil wasn't exactly obvious, though. I was so… normal… compared to Deidara. He was so special and I was like a dud. Brilliant -I was the dud. Wasn't it the girl that was supposed to be the almighty one in relationships?

I thought about it, but came to no detailed conclusion.

My entire life, I recalled no moment where I had actually considered myself to lack maturity. But then again, there was a first time for everything. I turned around, eyes stinging for anonymous reasons, and I walked, fast, towards my temporary home.

I jumped up, onto the balcony, opening the unlocked door and literally falling inside.

I landed in a haphazard heap on the floor next to the radiator, eyes watering as I curled into a tight ball. I covered my head with my hands, assuming a fatal position on the floor. I wasn't thinking straight, I was letting one action get to me, I was doing what I promised myself I wouldn't do. God, if I hadn't been so stupid to think that it would be that easy to just dismiss. I preferred crushes, they were sweet, short, destroyable, damnable, but _this_. Damn it, I found no words to describe how much I hated the feeling.

It was a full feeling. I could finally say that I was getting the hang of _life_.

Well damn. Guess what?

I was wrong about myself. I overestimated my intellect, my sanity, my self-control, my limits, and -yes, my threshold for pain. I knew it was all coming, eventually, but not like this.

I would have much preferred a backhand in the face.

"Ugh…" I mumbled under my breath, migraine throbbing.

It just had to be one of those little games where I just couldn't win. He had the advantage. I'd get him back, eventually, I'd find out how to get him back, but until then, all I had to look forward was hours of alcohol, work, and half-assed training sessions.

Finally content in mind, I drifted off into sleep (with a migraine).

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I didn't believe that I would ever find myself in a situation where all emotions were mutual. Wasn't love supposed to be mutual? In most situations. But right now, it definitely was _not _mutual. I was getting slapped harshly across the face over and over again. No -even _that _I found to be much more preferable.

I found myself in a bar. I had taken extra time to make sure that I didn't end up in Emi's bar again. Although I really enjoyed her company, she would surely question my sanity for drinking sake again. I wasn't an alcoholic. Hell, I didn't even really like the taste of it. It tasted like piss, gave me a headache, and corrupted my usually clear, organized thoughts. It was all the things that I resented, but still it was my constant comforting pillow in my current case of crapping out and being pissed off at Deidara.

The bar of my choice was anonymous, consisting of a _lot _of people who looked suspiciously under aged. They flounced around in colorful, provocative kimonos and wore ANBU masks. I watched them with disinterest from the armchair that I had planted myself in.

Men were hollering at high volumes at the women, throwing what appeared to be money at them. They weren't ninjas -they couldn't be. ANBU, for one thing, don't _feel_. There was no way that Root lost its touch that quickly.

I frowned -they were probably bought off the black market or something.

And then-

That ponytail. I knew that blonde hair _anywhere_.

Inside my stomach bubbled that gleeful feeling, but at the same time annoyance and rage. I narrowed my eyes, sitting up straighter as my eyes darted around the room; trying to navigate which direction I had last seen the flash of blonde hair.

And I spotted him.

The color of my face either paled or darkened when I saw that he had been pushed into the loveseat, and was being straddled by one of the many women who had pulled down the haori she wore to reveal a lacy, purple bra.

Despite the color distortion from the red, yellow, and orange lights, I could tell the colors.

I couldn't believe what I saw next.

Deidara was practically getting _raped _on the loveseat. Well, I wanted to believe that it was unwilling, but the way that he pulled her down into a heated kiss, let her pull off his shirt, and how his arms reached around her-

God.

I was going to pull my hair out if he didn't stop.

Was it even Deidara? I wanted to convince myself that it wasn't, but I _knew_.

He wasn't wearing his cloak. He was shirtless now, in black pants, ninja sandals. His forehead protector was missing as well.

If that _stupid girl _would just get the _hell away from him _for just one second I'd be able to tell if he was _hurt _or not.

Enraged, I stood up, striding towards the scene with authority. Deidara and the girl hadn't noticed me, but in fact just seemed to continue their little show as if I were invisible, lowering onto the couch.

I lost it when I saw Deidara reaching for her bra strap.

"_Bloody hell_!" I swore loudly, though no one noticed from the over exaggerated bass lines that were pumped from large speakers. I grabbed the woman by her hair, pulling her away from Deidara.

She let out a whine of protest, holding her sore scalp with both hands. I lifted her up by her arm, examining her face.

_Out cold_.

"The hell"- I muttered, examining her again. She reeked of alcohol and perfume. She had been drunk.

I might have even pitied her if I didn't remember what I was dealing with.

I turned towards Deidara, my glare lethal. He regarded me with an irritated glower, though he still lay down on the couch, "What the hell was that for, yeah? I was just having some fun."

Without a reply, I gently helped him up. He didn't seem to mind too much; a definite sign that he was drunk.

I grabbed his shirt, distastefully helping him pull it on. He glared at me, but I ignored him, too pissed of too relieved to be concerned about his anger. After I was done helping him get dressed, I pulled him up and got him the hell out of there.

I couldn't believe how calm I was. Somehow the acceptance I received from Deidara when I pulled him up managed to subdue me just a little bit, but I wasn't sure what would happen when I got home.

Pulling him into the room, I locked the door behind me.

Deidara immediately wandered over to _his _designated armchair, sitting down and holding his head in his right hand, pulling out his ponytail with the other. He grinned at me as I got a glass of milk and handed it to him.

"Drink it," I demanded, "I want you half-sober when I yell at you."

Deidara didn't argue. He took the glass wordlessly and drank it all in one gulp, handing the empty glass back to me. With a steady, reprimanding glare, I lowered the glass onto the coffee table, propping my elbow on the armrest and running my hand through my hair.

"You're impossible," I admonished him blankly, narrowing my eyes at him in a weak glare, "Just -I can't believe you."

"Hm?" he mumbled, closing his eyes.

He wasn't ready yet. I inhaled, closing my eyes and counting in my head before reopening them. Immediately, my pupils fixated themselves onto _stitches_. I narrowed my eyes as I tilted my head to examine them more. They were at different places, but, I could tell that _both _of his arms had been completely cut off, and then sewed back on again. I bit the inside of my cheek. He hadn't had them before.

The question of what he was doing while he was gone was demanding that it was brought up.

"What happened?" I asked, eyes still settled on the stitches of his left arm.

Deidara followed my gaze, grinning slightly, "Lost both my arms, yeah… most fun I've had in a long time."

"Come to think of it…" I murmured, reaching out. With one hand, I pulled up his shirt. Deidara's eyes narrowed at me, but he didn't protest. I grimaced at the large seal that was on Deidara's chest.

It was intricately designed, large, and was shaped oddly like a mouth. Deidara closed his eyes and exhaled, "Yeah, another mouth… surprised?"

"No," I told him, "Is it sealed?"

"Yeah," Deidara replied with a smirk, "It's for my final explosion."

I didn't miss the way his face hardened at the mention of an explosion, "What? What happened?"

"He escaped… the damn bastard," he seethed, hand curling into a fist. His eyebrows were narrowed, though his smirk was still in place, "Coward… running away, yeah… I knew he probably couldn't take me, but damn…"

He coughed, and I reached up to place a hand on his forehead.

"You have a fever," I told him irritably, "Do you want me to help you?"

"No," Deidara rasped sarcastically, rolling his visible eye.

Frowning at him, I stood up to my feet, quickly retrieving a bottle of pills and taking one out. I handed it to Deidara, who swallowed it quickly without the use of water.

"Thanks," he muttered.

Thunder crashed in the distance, and I reflexively cast a glance towards the window. The curtains were pushed aside, revealing dark clouds. I released a heavy sigh, turning towards Deidara again, "It's… raining."

"Aren't you observant, yeah…"

"Did you get hurt?"

"Yeah," he coughed again, but smirked at me, "But nowhere near dying at all, yeah… happy to see me?"

"Ecstatic."

Deidara grinned at me triumphantly, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

"Are you ready to tell me why you were… with that girl?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," I said, narrowing my eyes with disdain.

Deidara opened one of his eyes -his visible one. For a moment, he stared at me, face blank. My blood ran cold for a moment, and I found myself questioning my threshold for pain for the second time. I wasn't sure how I managed to sit still for that long while he practically ate the face of the drunken woman back there, but I was positive that I would not handle it if Deidara gave me an answer that, quite frankly, I didn't want to hear. Although I hadn't willed it, I began to brace myself for a cruel comment -anything.

These days, I just had to be ready for anything that was about to come my way. Lately, life had just been so packed with bland bullshit that I just didn't want to deal with. This was one of them.

"Fine -I wanted one night, yeah," Deidara scoffed, smirking at my appalled expression.

"That's"- I closed my mouth, contemplating what he had said with all the maturity I could muster. First of all, I was jealous. I wasn't above admitting it, either. God, I just wished I had kicked the unconscious whore before I had left, too. Second of all, it was _Deidara_. Of course, something like this would come up at a time like this.

"What?" he demanded.

His eyes were challenging me. I shrugged, "Nothing it's just… I don't know. I never thought that members of the Akatsuki thought of stuff like… that."

"Of course we do," Deidara snorted scornfully, "We're still men, yeah."

"I understand," I assured him. My stomach tightened -and I wanted to scold myself. It wasn't as if I had been rejected… but I couldn't help but feel like a _lesser _choice. That girl, although there was no way in hell I'd ever say it out loud, was pretty.

"Are you mad about it?"

"I'm supposed to be disgusted with you," I told him, narrowing my eyes.

He grinned at me, "But you're not?"

"No, I am."

Deidara sneered at me shortly, before closing his eyes and resting his chin in his hand.

"You're going to tell me that you're not disgusted with yourself?"

"No. She was hot, yeah," his smirk disappeared off of his face, and again he angrily narrowed his eyes at me, "she was probably a good one, too. What the hell is your problem, yeah?"

I sneered, voice weak with jealousy and disgust, "I thought that you dedicated your life to moments and things that were only temporarily there."

Teeth clenched, Deidara fixated a nasty glare at me, "Fu"-

"No, shut up!" I snapped, standing up and cutting him off before he could curse, "Shut up! You know what? Fine! Go back to her and see if she's awake -I'm sure by now someone must've helped her. Give her a couple of drinks, tie her up, and stuff her in a bag; it's what you criminals specialize in."

The last part of my tirade was especially bitter, but, to my growing disappointment, Deidara wasn't pissed at the uttermost level like I had expected, and wanted, him to be. Instead, he looked abashed by my comment, though he struggled to maintain his heated, withering glare, "Kaori, I've stolen, killed, and hurt, but I _never _did"-

"What bullshit," I cut him off again, "Why would I ever believe you."

Now extraordinarily pissed, he stood up. I froze, eyes widening as he backed me up into the wall. He seethed, "I would _never _-have never- touched a woman like that."

He was serious.

"I'm sorry," I finally conceded, lowering my gaze anxiously under his expectant, feral scrutiny. I felt as though my skin were on fire, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry -you're right. Really."

There wasn't time to argue with him. He was being an asshole, but he was disgusted.

I could tell by the way he had gotten so _freakishly _defensive over one small comment that I had barely meant. I just wanted to get to him a little bit. I exhaled as he backed away from me, walking drowsily towards the bedroom door, which was, to my distaste, open quite loudly. Without permission, he dragged himself to the bed and plopped himself down, mattress squeaking beneath him. I grimaced, remembering how that girl was all over him and _touching _him, and now her fesses would infect my new, sanitized bed sheet.

But it was Deidara, so I gave him a break. It was for him after all -for no one else. I watched his long, unbound blonde locks fanned out on the pillow, practically illuminating it with a brilliant, golden light among the grey colors.

It was dark outside -it was night.

I hadn't turned on any of the lights, other than allowing the moonlight to leak dimly through the window. I cringed as Deidara rolled over; nearly falling off the bed as he did so.

I swallowed my sigh, silently walking towards him, floorboards creaking beneath my feet. Slowly, I crawled onto the bed beside him. I realized that I had stopped breathing the moment all I could hear was the sound of his.

My conscience screamed.

"Your hair is beautiful…" I breathed absently, staring longingly at his long tresses.

He made a disgruntled noise in response. I meekly held my hand out, gently stroking it with the tips of my fingers, "And… it's really soft… Do you use some sort of… special conditioner on your hair?"

"No," he grunted nonchalantly, taking the sheets and wrapping them around himself.

I frowned, and, in turn, tore away the comforter.

Rolling away from him, I closed my eyes, forcing myself to fall asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My morning started bumpily as usual. I proceeded to bang my head against the side table, resulting in a bitten tongue and teary eyes. I scratched my hair, which was in disarray, sending pointed glanced around the room in search of Deidara.

A distant crash sounded, and I narrowed my eyes towards the door which was, yet again, open widely. I craned my neck, struggling to see the kitchen. I cautiously flipped my legs over the side of the bed, carefully walking out of the bedroom.

I frowned at the sight.

Deidara had dropped almost _all _of the cooking pots, pans, and woks onto the ground into a haphazard pile, and was now kneeling over them and scooping at least three at a time into his arms.

"Shit -sorry Kaori," he grunted, struggling to balance the load in his arms.

Exhaling, I walked towards him, picking up some of the others that Deidara had neglected, placing them neatly in the cupboard where they originally were. I noticed that Deidara continued to open many drawers and cupboards, in search of something that I most likely didn't have. My head throbbing slightly, I asked, "What are you looking for, Deidara?"

"Butter knife," he replied.

Perfectly timed, a small _ding _emitted from the toaster, and two evenly tanned pieces of white bread popped out. Deidara grinned, walking towards them and pulling them out with his thumbs and forefingers, immediately dropping them onto a prepared plate.

I didn't miss the tub of butter that he had out as well.

"That drawer," I said simply, pointing towards the one nearby the sink. Deidara scowled, but turned towards the designated drawer and pulled at the knob, removing a butter knife with a boyish grin on his face.

Good god -I could barely believe that an elite ninja criminal would waste at least five minutes of his life stressing over a _butter knife_.

It must have been a guy thing.

I leaned against the counter, watching fixatedly as Deidara held a piece of toast between his teeth. He glanced at the other piece, and then at me. I shook my head, "No thanks. You have it."

With a snort, he took large bites of toast, finishing the two pieces within a time span of three minutes.

"Sleep well?" I inquired hastily. I didn't really care for his answer, but I felt it was something that I should ask.

"Sure," he muttered, running his fingers through his unbound hair and grinning at me as he sat on a stool.

Eyeing him strangely as he lethargically molded clay, I asked, "Why'd you join Akatsuki?"

"You forget already, yeah? Hurts a lot."

"Sorry."

He grinned at me, looking up. His hands continued to move, forming a complex and intricately textured sculpture without looking, "I was forced to join," he frowned, looking down, "Tch..."

"No… I mean, why did you start fighting in the first place? Why'd you… leave Iwa?" I felt ashamed of the anger that unwittingly stirred in the pit of my stomach at my question. If Deidara hadn't left the village, he wouldn't have glanced at me once. I bit the inside of my cheek to subdue my grimace.

"I left because they wouldn't appreciate my art. Bastards -but they got theirs, yeah?" he smirked ironically before turning his attention towards his work in his hands, "And -I also wanted to see the world."

"See the world?"

"Yeah."

I considered it for a moment, and frowned, "I still don't agree with you."

"I wasn't asking you to, yeah."

"I know, but I just don't understand."

"You don't need to."

I scowled at him, but made no comment. I pensively tapped my fingers against the counter, staring out the window again. It was _very _early in the morning. A dull, garish day; not that I really cared.

"The sudden interest in my life is because… yeah?"

"As if I've never been interested in what goes on in a homicidal man's head," I responded, narrowing my eyes, "Why does it matter?"

"You're not getting paid, are you?" he accused, scowling. His eyes flared with that same rage once again, and I hurried to assure him.

"No -I'm not," I told him. Seeing him relax, I added, "I wouldn't rat you out."

He narrowed his eyes at me, but didn't reply.

"Are you that paranoid… about being caught? The almighty Deidara, who single-handedly blew up half of his home-village and got away with barely a scratch?" I had sounded bitter -wonderful, I had unwittingly demonstrated the ugly, bitter side of me that I had hoped especially _him _would never have to see. Maybe I was just jealous that he had natural talent in something; that he had the ability to make me feel like such a shitty being without having to even give it an earnest effort. It was horrific.

"Yea," he admitted hastily, expression hardening.

I didn't bother to ask why. It would've been pointless to inquire an answer when I already knew what it was. It was just nature that one person, no matter how strong, couldn't take down at _least _an army of one hundred merciless ANBU that would have been sent here to take him down.

_He is so fucking dangerous, isn't he?_

"Don't worry," I reassured him, "I promise that I won't turn against you."

I meant it. I shouldn't have meant it, though, because he was Deidara. Infamous -a living nightmare.

Also a living contradiction.

That made out with some alcohol-induced bimbo in a bar last night.

Hell!

"So what do you plan to do now?" I demanded, frowning at him as he sat there with a contemptuous look on his face.

Deidara inattentively cocked his head to the side, eyes barely meeting mine, "What?"

Miffed, I repeated, "Do you have plans to leave? Maybe return to wherever the Akatsuki goes after missions?"

"None."

Exasperated, my shoulders sagged with relief, "I see."

"Would it be alright if I just stayed here, yeah?"

I froze.

_No, you jackass. It isn't okay for you to just plant your ass down in a place that is so _very _cramped even without you here, thank you very much. I would just prefer it if you just crawled back underneath a rock with that bitch whose throat you stuck your tongue in. I'm sure that's exactly what you're going to waste your life doing while you're with me -pissing me off by just running off with hookers and drinking all of _my _alcohol._

"It's fine."

Infuriating images of him and the girl flashed in my eyes. My retinas were permanently scarred, and it was all Deidara's fault. I remembered how pretty she was as well -I hated girls that were so lucky to be so generously endowed.

"Does that mean yeah?" he asked, a smirk of amusement lacing his lips as he finally met my choleric stare.

"Yes, it does mean _yeah,_" I sneered.

Deidara glared out me out of sheer annoyance, but didn't respond. He did, though, grudgingly mutter thanks.

It was vexing.

Without another word, I turned away towards the sink, leaning against the chrome brim with my eyes closed. I was struggling against a headache. I had it coming though. With my susceptibility, I'll be apt to swearing, drinking, wasting time, and scowling because of Deidara being such a jerk.

_Smug bastard_.

But still.

Even the sinking feeling that it gave me, although it was terribly clichéd, didn't make me regret taking the poor bastard in.

I chanced a quick glance back at him, and he grinned amusedly and waved, palm mouth sticking out its tongue.

Turning around, I gave him a half-smile.

And it was then that I lost all vestiges of normalcy that I strived for.

End Chapter Sixteen!

Oh my god. I think that some people actually thought that the story was complete at chapter fifteen… that was probably my fault, because I was all like "I'm done!" Damn it. Forgive me if you gave up on the story already just because I did something so thoughtless-like. Well, here's chapter sixteen, and the story is still progressing. I'm hoping for at _least _twenty chapters.

Though even that might be a little short. Hm…

Well anyway, forget what I think, it's about what you think. xD I also have a new poll -long chapters or short ones?

Root is basically the ANBU-training-thing. Everyone's pretty much monotonous and void of any emotion there… that's where Sai came from. Dx

Please review! :D


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto. Nor am I earning money for this story. Any similarities between my own story and another existing one is completely coincidental. Please don't sue me.

Idea One: Maybe I should have had something romantic happen in the last chapter. I vaguely remember saying that something was going to happen by around seventy thousand words, and I was two thousand, five hundred and twelve words over. Eek -sorry!

Idea Two: Yikes, looks like this chapter is gonna be a bit of a doozy, eh? Good luck sitting through this one. Did anyone else notice that I screwed up Kaori's birthday dates? Maybe that's the reason people are always making profiles of their OCs. xD Because I had to look for the other b-day and it took me like, forty minutes…

Idea Three: Oh, and I don't swear a lot. Not even in my thoughts. On occasion I will mutter an innocent little curse (gosh darn it)… Dx

- - - - -Ten Things I Hate About You, Chapter 17- - - - -  
by: boxinlove

IN WHICH anything is said…

I had woken up that morning to the sound of soft breathing. I rolled out of bed, ignoring the sleeping lump that had been pestering me to order him this special power drink that was said to work more efficiently that soldier pills. It was my weekend and I had been looking forward to having it. Individual Jounin training had barely begun and already I was having thoughts on slacking off. I didn't want to be a ninja, a Jounin no less. It still puzzled me how the Tsuchikage saw me as worthy to even go on this trip.

My parents barely seemed to miss me, though sent me letters constantly questioning about my skills. I still couldn't understand their misguided wishes for me to be strong. Just because I was a girl that meant that I needed to be especially strong?

It was just bullshit to me.

I paced barefoot around the kitchen area, gathering a cutting board, a knife, and a carton of strawberries. I washed each strawberry meticulously and sliced them unevenly and with minimal movement. I ate the sliced strawberries and dubbed it breakfast. I settled down in front of the television set with the remote in my hand, turning it on to the weather channel and leaning back with the morning paper.

There were little updates in activity around Takigakure -a three star missing-nin was captured yesterday and sentenced to ten years in prison after three days in court. He would also be volunteering seven hundred hours of community service to this park that he had vandalized after his release from prison. Also, there was an advertisement for a missing parakeet from a house which I knew was just a street away from where I was situated at the moment.

The weather that day would be cold and cloudy with strong wind and a high chance of rain. Tomorrow would be sunny and a little chilly. There would be precipitation on Monday, and then on Tuesday there was going to be a cloudy, humid day.

I heard my bedroom door open, and I looked over the back of the couch to see Deidara, standing with loose, baggy sweatpants and a baggy grey shirt. He regarded me somnolently, "Hey."

"Hi," I responded, "It's a little early for you, isn't it?"

He swore at me silently, moving lethargically towards the bathroom. I turned back to the television, ignoring the obnoxious sound of running water.

"What are you doing today?" I asked him out of obligation as he flopped down next to me, running his fingers through his loose hair. He glanced at me, and then towards the paper.

"I saw that bird before," he mentioned.

I scowled, "What are you going to do today?"

He scoffed, "I don't care."

His maturity level was astounding, "Sounds productive."

Deidara cursed at me again, but motioned to a cluster of clay butterflies that were on the side table, "I made those yesterday, yeah."

I looked at them. Their wings were outstretched in mid-flight, captured by quick eyes in the very instant that they were extended. The tips of the wings were curved imperceptibly, symmetrical to its opposite. Their eyes were large, yet not unrealistically so. It was an exact replica -in both size and detail- of an actual butterfly. I was actually vaguely impressed.

"They're very nice," I commented sincerely, "Are you going to color them?"

"Hell no," he muttered tiredly, closing his eyes as he rested his head against his closed fist.

"Go to bed if you're going to be grumpy," I told him irritably, frowning at him before turning the television off. He looked at me, and then towards the blank screen in front of us.

He stood up.

My eyes followed him skeptically as he shuffled around, occasionally stopping to pick something up. I stood up after he made his way to the window. For some reason, even though there was a door there available for our use, we always preferred the window. I called out to him, "Where do you think you're going?"

He appeared beside me, grabbing my forearm, "Waterfalls, yeah."

"Wait, what why?"

"Because I'm going to demonstrate my art," he said with conviction, "You're going to watch."

"Why do I have to watch?" I demanded, bemused, watching as he opened the window and hopped over the sill and outside onto the balcony. I saw the look on his face, and understood. He was worried about being caught and arrested. It was actually a little strange that he was silently admitting that he was worried about the ANBU and rouge ninjas that he may run into. Even though he was very likely stronger than any that he may run into, they could still escape and turn him in. And then he'd be done.

He didn't tell me this, though. Instead, he stated, "You've never seen my art."

"Yes I have," I contradicted him with a frown, "And I don't really want to see it again."

"I'm not going to kill anyone, yeah."

"I don't want to come."

"Just shut the hell up and oblige, will you, yeah?"

"Explain what you're doing first," I told him, pulling my arm back and holding it to express my pain. I narrowed my eyes at him in a doubtful glare. "And if it isn't worthy, I'm not coming."

"I'm gonna test out some of my newest explosives, yeah," he told me. He saw my paranoid expression and rolled his eyes, scowling, "I'm not going to blow you up, damn it. I'll be careful."

"That's a big promise coming from you," I speculated, "It's not too late to take it back."

"Who said it was a promise, yeah?" he snorted, "You're coming either way."

I yelped as Deidara jerked my arm back and proceeded to jump, dragging me along as he leaped from rooftop to rooftop. Without any consideration to my clothing or hair, we tore through the leaves and branches, leaving unnoticed by the bustling crowd beneath us. I yelled curses at Deidara the entire time, to which he subdued me with another curse of his own. It was rare for him to be precautious about ANBU members and rouge ninjas, so I supposed that this was why I was hastily conforming to his wishes.

"How far is this supposed to be?" I huffed angrily as he finally stopped to glance around him.

"No idea," he admitted carelessly, "Who the hell cares though, I'm pretty sure I know where it is, yeah."

"What? You don't even know where we are going? Oh _god _Deidara you are full of shit."

He glared at me, "What the hell is your problem? We're not even lost, yeah."

"It's inevitable that we're going to be lost, you dick."

Deidara finally stopped looking around; turning his head towards a thicket of intertwined leaves and branches. I saw the look on his face. Frantically, I shook my head, immediately refusing to follow after him although it wasn't even concluded that we were going there. I knew him all too well. Deidara smirked at me, ruthlessly, and grabbed my hand in a vice grip. I lashed out on him a tirade of foul curses, going ignored by Deidara as he laughed, and then leaped through the leaves.

The leaves were _wet_. I don't know why they were wet -most likely from the rain the night before. Deidara ignored me as I cursed and thrashed angrily at him. My clothes were already soiled from the mud and insects that had accumulated on the leaves and branches. Deidara himself didn't care about his clothing. I didn't really know why.

But after a few short moments of being pulled behind Deidara like a doll, we finally rampaged into a large, open clearing. There was no grass to be seen, yet millions of stones that were scattered about, and a deep, wide river that seemed to stretch for miles. The water was a clear blue, retaining no proof of life as I peered down. It was just blue that I saw. Although I could see nothing but blue in the river, I could determine that strange, eerie foreboding.

Deidara ignored my complaints.

A clay bird appeared in a large cloud of smoke, and I was pulled onto it by Deidara.

Instinctively I grasped onto Deidara, and the bird flapped its wings, shrieking as it took off into the air like a rocket. I swore loudly as I saw the forest and the waterfall far beneath me. Deidara turned to me and grinned, before grabbing hold of the bird once again.

With a broad sweep, the bird was instantly fifteen meters above the peak of the waterfall. I grabbed onto Deidara's shoulders. He tried to shrug me away as he looked down at the crashing water with vague interest.

"This isn't a good idea," I remarked blandly.

I peered curiously over the clay creature's head. I turned towards Deidara, who was kneeling confidently as he prepared his landing. We were elevated high off of the ground, the bird flapping its wings at an unremarkable yet maintained speed and accelerating its mass over one of the many great waterfalls. The amounts of falls in this region were numerous, though this had been one of the more sublime. I still couldn't believe that Deidara had dragged me out here this early in the morning on my day off to test his prototypes in the waterfalls -and of course he wished for me to supervise and cover him.

The sounds of rushing water were anything but subtle, crashing against the water below. I flinched from the cold, wrapping my arms around me. Deidara spared me a quick glance, "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I assured him with a small nod, looking towards the water once again; "I don't think this is an advisable training method."

He smirked at me and then stood, striding towards the head of the bird and peering down, blonde hair whipping around in the forceful wind. He raised his hand to his face, pressing buttons on his scope repetitively as he examined the falls closer. After discerning no threats, he began to remove his shirt.

A month or two before I may have blushed, but it had become a habit for Deidara to walk around my flat in nothing but his boxers. The first time I had reacted any girl might have in my situation -I had yelled swears at him as I stormed out, embarrassed. I hadn't come back until night.

Muscles rippled across his chest and back, flexing as he leaned over to look down again. His unmarred skin was something to envy, even from a girl's perspective. His complexion was forever untarnished, muscles symmetrical to the ones on the opposite side of his body. Though there was a tattoo on his arm -the ANBU tattoo- and another on the left side of his chest that was suspiciously shaped like a mouth. From what I could distinguish, it seemed to be some sort of seal. I didn't feel prepared to mention it in conversation though.

"Are you really going to jump down?" I questioned once again, looking towards Deidara doubtfully. "You might smash your skull if there are rocks there."

Deidara narrowed his eyes, pulling at his hair tie and handing it to me. I took it reluctantly, giving him an incredulous stare as he prepared his sculptures.

"Why do you need to jump down with them?"

Deidara removed his scope as well, tossing it to me. I barely managed to catch his device and put it one of the many compartments of my pants. Deidara neglected to turn to me as he responded, "It's a long fall, and I need to time my explosions so that I don't collapse the entire waterfall, yeah."

"I see," I alleged.

"Just don't move, yeah. The longest any of my birds have been able to keep up in the air without me physically riding them is about thirty-five minutes, yeah. If I'm not back, jump down."

"What?" I snapped, eyes widened with disbelief, "That was never part of what you told me this morning. I'm not jumping down."

"You're going to go down either way, yeah," he drawled innocuously, "It'd probably be more fun if you weren't falling with a bird."

"So wait, you mean if in thirty-five minutes or maybe a little longer you aren't back, I'm going to have to muster up the courage to jump down to my death of either drowning, getting splattered all over the rocks, or being blown up by your goddamn birds?"

Deidara scowled, executing a concise, factual correction, "_Art_."

"Oh, I'm sorry, being blown up by your _art._"

"Damn it, Kaori just do it," Deidara edified irritably. "See you later."

He threw down the clay birds first. I stood, watching as they spiraled downwards, figures growing smaller thus indicating the length of the fall. Deidara watched this all proudly, and then leaped off, head first.

Was he fucking _mad?_

I heard a crash in the distance -an explosion from down below. Water soared straight up into the air from the impact of the blast, hitting the bird with incredible force that sent it shooting up into the air. Water rained down over the forest, leaving me and the bird sopping wet. I panicked as I realized that the bird was hardening -the chakara that had been weaved into the clay was fading. I swore loudly as my hands and knees slipped over the hardening clay. I struggled to grasp onto the bird, but my efforts remained in vain as I slipped off its back, plummeting downwards towards the awaiting falls.

The bird disappeared in a puff of smoke far overhead. The magnitude of the force that was pulling me downward was great, and my head was spinning from panic. Distorted images of forest and rushing water whisked by me at an incredible speed, and then I splashed into icy water.

As I sunk down into the water, my head became heavy, and my vision began to blur alarmingly. I heard the distant blasts. The water circulated around me in broad, powerful currents that seemed to be conflicting as they were all moving in opposite directions. The weight of the water combined with the disturbance from the explosions was enough to crush me, and I found that I couldn't swim upwards. It was as if there was something not physically present that was undoubtedly trying to pull me down.

I gasped for breath, and water invaded my lungs. I screamed underwater.

The sounds of the explosions slowly began to subside, and a figure splashed into the water.

The person swam towards me hurriedly, long, blonde hair swirling around him sinuously like ribbons of seaweed. He wrapped his arms around me, and looked up. The surface of the water was too far.

I cursed at him, frantically grabbing at him. I still couldn't swim.

He clenched his teeth and glared at me, but allowed himself to sink deeper. My head was becoming alarmingly light. His face was right in front of mine. He forced his mouth to mine as he exhaled into my mouth.

I grabbed his shoulders with surprise, as a reflex to push him back. But I breathed in the air he was giving me first. He pulled away to glare at me, to which I glared back. He moved down again, pulling me away from the powerful currents that continued to circulate at the bottom of the river. We swam to the surface, gasping for air. Deidara was the first to pull himself up to sit on the water, flopping on his back listlessly as he panted.

I floated lifelessly, breathing heavily.

"Thank you..." I managed to exhale.

He closed his eyes, chest heaving as he panted.

"Are you okay?" I asked him carefully.

He began to sink.

"Shit! Deidara? Deidara!"

I quickly jerked him into my arms, making sure to keep his head above the surface of the water as I examined him. He had passed out. I cursed again as I swam awkwardly to the shore, pulling his comatose form onto my lap.

He'd be pissed if he woke up with his head impaled with several, small rocks.

"This is your fault," I told him. I tilted my head as I scrutinized his expression -it was peaceful, an expression unlike a person that could have drowned. His eyes were closed placidly, and his face was devoid of any agitation that should have had from the previous occurrence. His expression was too serene to be unconscious.

I couldn't believe that he was unconscious from saving me. Although I was flattered, I couldn't help but think of him to be slightly inconsiderate. Hadn't it occurred to him that I was a juvenile swimmer, and that I hadn't the clue of how to save a body from drowning? If we hadn't been close to the shore, we'd both be dead by now. I scowled as I glanced at the alarmingly large splotch of blood on my side -apparently a souvenir from Deidara's bombs. The pain was intermittent, and I was able to distract myself from it by worrying over Deidara.

I prodded his arm slightly, moving it over the sharp rock.

He ceased to respond. His heart rate and respiration level was continuing at the lowest possible level. It was hard to discern any signs of his breathing. I frowned at him, contemplating over my next move. Carrying him was the obvious explanation, but I wasn't confident in my ability to lift heavy things. I eyed Deidara's toned muscles, and how he was so tall -it was a hernia waiting to happen.

I groaned out loud, frustrated over the situation. I was hungry -I was considering leaving him there for maybe an hour or so that I could at least get food first. But the risks of either a ninja finding him or some crazy woman raping him was a little to high for my comfort. I didn't trust this place at all.

I removed damp strands of hair from his face, bored after about three minutes of sitting there silently. I wondered what I was actually supposed to do.

I frowned, and then decided that my cut was what I was going to deal with. Glancing around the clearing consciously, I tried to lift up my shirt as inconspicuously as I could, examining it. It actually wasn't that terrible -it wouldn't scar, as it was just a thin, long cut straight down my side that was most likely from a flying rock from an explosion. I exhaled, lowering the hem of my shirt again and pulling it down. It was freezing cold.

Clouds shrouded the sky, and thunder clapped in the distance.

I had watched the weather this morning, and I had completely forgotten to tell Deidara about the rain. I cursed silently as a slow drizzle began, and then transformed miraculously into pouring, cold rain.

I felt sorry for myself, but there was nothing else I could do.

I pulled Deidara up into my arms -which was, by the way, not easy at all- and then hooked my other arm around his waist. It probably wasn't the best way to carry him, but, I managed to scoop him up and, with a great amount of effort, managed to find my way to grass. I collapsed, legs pinned underneath Deidara's unconscious body.

I moved him closer to me, wrapping my arms around him and leaning against one of the many intertwined roots that had sprouted from the ground. I held Deidara close to me, trying to keep him warm. Although there was a large canopy of leaves and branches above us, the rain was strong, and we got drenched anyway. I closed my eyes, resting my cheek against the top of Deidara's head.

I actually really loved him.

Great -just what I needed to top this wonderful day off. I'm going to be hungry when Deidara regains consciousness, Deidara and I are very likely to catch a case of pneumonia, and I still loved Deidara, even though he's an asshole.

I hate even thinking about the word love. I wish that the term wasn't so concisely explained in the dictionary, even though in reality the meaning was elusive and deceiving, either recklessly or rarely used. I hated the idea of loving a person. It made me feel like I was going to be screwed over in the end, which I probably would.

I looked at his face -his undisturbed expression. I imagined him awake. Still very pretty for a guy, though was clearly masculine. With that stupid, obnoxious smirk on his face and the way that he seemed to always be glaring or grinning or frowning at me -it was unnerving and compelling at the same time.

He was such an idiot. And yet he was so much better than me, so that must have made me... shitty in his presence.

Undeserving and shunned from his world of perfection and crime. He's killed more people than I ever would in my life, and believed in things that I couldn't even fathom.

Was there something wrong with me because of it? Sure I'm not the only one that's ever had feelings for a criminal before. That Itachi asshole that Deidara always meanders about -I'm sure some girls have thought some pretty hardcore thoughts about him, too, seeing as Deidara is so clearly envious of the power that this guy possesses.

"What happened?"

He spoke.

He was okay!

I opened my eyes. I felt Deidara's warm breath against my arm, and I hugged him closer. He swore silently in pain, but I ignored him. "You're alright... god you're such an idiot I actually wasn't sure that you were going to be okay..."

"Of course I was going to be okay," he retorted.

"I didn't know."

Deidara didn't say anything for a moment. I was surprised he hadn't scooted away from me yet. Finally, he asked me, "The question is are you okay, yeah."

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you for coming to my rescue."

He scoffed, "You could be more sincere than that, yeah. But whatever, next time I won't save you."

I frowned, "I'm sorry! It's just that I'm not the greatest swimmer. I barely managed to drag your unconscious ass back to the shore, so we might have both been dead by now!"

He rolled off of me, sitting beside me. I looked to him, slightly insulted that he had moved away. Deidara stared at me with eyes that could have been situated on an overgrown bush in the corner of a rose garden. "What's the matter now, yeah?"

"Nothing," I responded easily, rolling my shoulders and resting against the thick roots again.

"Are you cold or something?"

"Aren't you?"

He rolled his eyes, "Come here then, yeah."

I eyed him incredulously.

Deidara scowled, narrowing his eyes, "Be mature about it."

I inched closer.

Deidara groaned, "Are you serious?"

"I don't know what you're asking me."

He lifted me up so that I was on his lap facing him, drawing his arms around me. It was actually rather... intimate? It was nice. I didn't comment on the close proximity in precaution as to not piss him off.

"Better?" he drawled casually, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Why are you so happy?" I demanded, lifting my face to look at him. I blushed as I realized that our faces were alarmingly close.

He grinned.

"Don't flatter yourself," I snorted. "You're the one that forced me into this awkward position."

Deidara smirked.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked, hitting him lightly. I was abashed by his silence, "Hey, tell me. Why do you have to dissect everything that I do and twist it into something else?"

"I'm not, yeah!" he scoffed, "You're just obvious."

I stopped, paling imperceptibly, "Wait, what?"

"You like me."

It wasn't even a question. It was a factual statement. But he was wrong. I didn't like him. Hell, nothing about him was worth liking. Who knew why I loved him so much, anyway. I felt something well up inside of me. It was an opportunity presenting itself. I could tell him, right then, how I felt. But I didn't know how he felt. I didn't even want to admit to just liking him, I was that worried about rejection. But who wasn't?

I felt like I was a practical person at that moment.

"So?" I retorted. I was weak.

"I just wanted to know, yeah," he drawled with a smirk plastered to his triumphant face.

"Why does it even matter?" I didn't even have the patience to breathe.

"Are you admitting to liking me, yeah? Or are you going to keep on with the whole denial bullshit?" he questioned balefully, frowning at me. "Kaori you're pretty easy to read on most things."

"So what if I liked you? You knew all this time but you didn't say anything. It doesn't fucking matter," I was sure to include a curse in my statement, to make more of a point and get it across. Deidara smirked at me.

"Why wouldn't it matter, yeah?"

He was right and I was lying. It did matter.

"If it matters, how come you kissed all those girls? So that you could get a reaction out of me?" I accused bitterly.

"I didn't sleep with any of them, yeah," he said, as though that clarified anything.

"What does that have to do with anything? You knew and you didn't care."

He glared, "What the hell do you know, yeah! I _do _care." He pulled me closer, so that he could whisper something to me, "The Akatsuki is suspicious of me. They think I'm giving away secrets to a source. I'm not even supposed to fucking be here, but I am, yeah. I leave at night because I have to fucking report to the leader."

I looked at him, "What are you saying?"

He let out a frustrated curse, "Because they might fucking find you. I'm not letting that happen, yeah."

"What?" my voice rose, but he clamped his mouth over mine, muffling my voice before I yelled. I didn't react right away, but eventually I closed my eyes, relaxing as his mouth moved against mine.

Deidara pulled away, glaring at me still, "So stop it with this bullshit about me not caring, yeah. Stop being all pissed off. I haven't touched a girl since I found out about how you felt, yeah."

I nodded, slowly, "Alright... but... how the hell do they know?"

"They don't," Deidara hissed. He glanced around, and then settled his eyes on me again, "The Akatsuki is getting killed off, yeah. Sasori is dead, Itachi got killed by his brother, Kakuzu is dead, Hidan is technically dead, and they thought I was dead. They would have thought I was dead, and I would have been free, but I fucking showed up because I had no idea, yeah."

"You idiot," I told him blatantly. I had no idea who the people he was listing were, but I still knew that Deidara was an idiot. He cursed at me but continued.

"They're scared shitless of this nine tails kid, who's hunting down Itachi's brother, yeah. I have no idea what's actually going on, but our leader has been fighting this kid for three days now."

"What?"

He swore, "I don't fucking know. The point is that anyone affiliated with me is fucked. Anyone that has anything to do with the Akatsuki is pretty much dead now. The leader probably thinks I'm dead by now, and this time I'm not going to meet him, yeah. But that doesn't mean I don't have to be careful."

Deidara looked at me, making sure that I was serious.

"I don't want them to hurt you, alright? So just shut the hell up, cooperate, and let me protect you."

I blinked, incredulous as I slowly registered all of this information that he was throwing at me, "Your leader may think you are dead. And then what... what happens to the Akatsuki if your leader thinks all his subordinates are dead?"

He flinched, but responded, "Then it's over."

"It'll be... over..." I echoed numbly, "But..."

"There are no exceptions, yeah," Deidara muttered, "It'll all be over. All of his taking over the world bullshit will be put to hell. He'll burn there with his other bodies and his partner, yeah."

"So you're cheering for... the nine tails."

Deidara paused, and, although it clearly hurt his ego, he nodded.

"... Are you free then?"

"Not until the leader is dead," he paused, and then eyed me with slight amusement and surprise, "Are you crying?"

Yes, a little.

He snickered, "Why are you crying?"

I didn't know.

Deidara rolled his eyes and gave me another hug. I didn't want his damn condolences -I wanted him to be free. I wanted his leader to be taken down, just so that Deidara could be free. According to what he knew, I liked him. That wasn't true though.

I didn't _just_ like him. Hell no.

It was better than before though.

Deidara exhaled, "Kaori you're going to be fine, yeah."

I didn't care if I was going to be fine.

"Damn it Kaori can't you trust me for once? I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

"It's not that, you ignorant asshole," I snapped. "It's that you're still part of the Akatsuki. They might kill you -no, they will kill you. If not by your boss, it'll be that nine tails kid! I"-

I stopped.

Deidara narrowed his eyes at me, "I'm not going to fucking die yet, Kaori."

"But you're always ranting about you wanting to blow yourself up because life is supposed to be fleeting."

He pressed his lips to mine again. I don't know why he did.

Deidara pulled away, this time with a smirk on his face, "Not yet Kaori."

"Well hell, what about next week? Or next year? Any of that is too soon for me." Shit, "I mean... for you."

Deidara blinked, as though he was processing something. But he didn't mention my mistake, "I'm not going to die, yeah. Stop being a paranoid idiot for a moment. The leader has got his hands full, and I'm pretty sure I can take anyone that was left behind. Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi... I'm pretty sure I can handle them. Fuck them, yeah!"

I smiled a little bit, "You're such a cocky bastard."

He smirked, and told me, "If I wasn't with you you'd be dead."

"Screw that. I'll just go back to Iwagakure."

"And risk getting killed on the five day trip? No way in hell I'd let you do that, yeah."

"How altruistic of you..."

I rested my head on his chest.

Deidara muttered something under his breath, and drew his arms around me.

End Chapter Seventeen!

YES. There aren't a lot of chapters remaining my dears. Hopefully I'll be done this story before the end of _this year_. It's definitely a possibility, and thank you to everyone who has supported me thus far! Without you guys, I wouldn't have picked it up. (: Thank you so much for everything!

You are awesome.

Please review and tell me what you think.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto… wow, the possibilities are endless. Damn, I sure as hell wish I owned Naruto. ):

Notes: It's been a while, but I did _not_ want to abandon this story. (:

Bee tee dubs—I don't remember if they're staying in a hotel or an apartment. Forgive me for the convolution of this plot. xD

Oh, and last chapter I lied. Swearing is fun, but sophistication is even more so. ;) And swearing is _not_ sophisticated! (Damn straight) It's been a while though, and I don't know what I was thinking before… Ah well.

* * *

Ten Things I Hate About You  
written and edited by: boxinlove

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: IN WHICH it lasts for just a little

Deidara didn't flinch as I slit open the pad of my thumb with a kunai. He watched as a bubble of blood appeared on the surface of skin. I glowered at him as much as I could, trying to ignore the numbness that I felt in my hand, "What's so interesting, Deidara?"

"Hm? Nothing," Deidara leaned his head back against the protruding root he sat against with a sigh, eyes closing. "Keep training, yeah."

I narrowed my eyes skeptically at him before redirecting my gaze back towards my scroll. Weakly, I sprawled down the word "dagger" in blood. A chill running down my spine, I stuck my thumb in my mouth, cringing at the metallic taste of my own blood as I allowed the blood to dry on the opaque, yellowing paper.

"You've been cutting yourself too much, yeah," Deidara mentioned from where he sat, teal eyes watching me again as I began to wrap a band-aid around my wound. "It's annoying."

"Summoning is easier than carrying weapons around, Deidara."

"I don't carry anything but clay, yeah."

"That is because you can make anything you want from clay, and even better, you can make it explode," I muttered, looking down at my cut up hands with disdain. "Lots of us don't have that luxury."

"Want me to teach you?"

"I don't have mouths on my hands."

"That's true," Deidara clicked his tongue, a leer stretching across his face as he added, "And, obviously, you lack the skill. And creativity, yeah."

I shot him a look, but otherwise shrugged off the snide comment—it was glaringly true, anyway. Sighing again, I read over my scroll before rolling it up and sticking it into one of my pouch compartments. I withdrew my sword from its scabbard, running a piece of silk along the blade.

"That's a nice sword," he commented. "I haven't seen it before."

"I haven't been practicing with it much," I admitted, lifting it up into the setting sun and turning it to the side. I grimaced, and then brought it back down, "It's… kind of heavy, but well-balanced."

"Hm. Give it."

I snorted incredulously at his immaturity, but wordlessly tossed over the sword. It soared through the air, but Deidara caught it by its hilt, pushing his bangs aside to examine the weapon with his scope. Marginally enthralled, I watched as he brought the edge of the blade to his own thumb, giving a quick swipe. My eyes widened involuntarily, and I found myself snapping, "What the hell, Deidara!"

He chuckled, smirking marginally. Using the palm mouth on his opposite hand, he began to nurse the wound with saliva. "I'm a big boy, Kaori, yeah. No need to freak out."

"That sword cuts a lot deeper than a kunai, Deidara."

"I was careful."

I didn't bother to argue further, too exhausted from training. I gathered my weapons and scrolls that had been strewn randomly about the secluded clearing, finding the action of bending over to pick each item up unbearably tiring. When I straightened, I noticed Deidara standing in front of me with an armful of other items I must have overlooked. I flushed, but took them all with a silent thanks and stuffed them into my side bag.

"Do you wanna drink somewhere? It's almost night."

I lowered my voice, "You have to be careful. You've been taking to many risks, and the last think you need is for someone to"—

"Recognize me?" Deidara completed my sentence, and then snorted. "I'm not wearing my uniform. I'll wear my hair different. I'll take off my scope, yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, yeah. Shit, Kaori, stop worrying. I just wanna hang out," Deidara rolled his eyes at me. I watched as he yanked out his half-ponytail, and instead bunched all of his hair into one, high ponytail, along with his bangs. Removing his scope, he tossed it to me, and I obligingly tucked the device away into my pouch.

Once he was done, he took a step towards me and took my hand, squeezing tightly. Still unused to the sensation of a mouth against my palm, my blood ran cold momentarily before I finally adjusted to the sensation.

Abrasively, Deidara began to lead me down the trail. I was a few steps behind him, not really paying attention to where we were going, but rather to the mesmerizing swishing of his blonde ponytail, back and forth.

* * *

"Here's good?"

I tittered, and then commented, "As long as it isn't the place where you kissed that girl."

Deidara's smirk fell, replaced by a look that insinuated that he was going to throw a tantrum. I took a long sip of my sake, smiling against the rim as Deidara muttered something along the lines of "fuck you" before taking an aggressive sip of his own alcoholic beverage.

Wiping at my mouth with my sleeve, I mentioned, "Why would you want a one night stand?"

Deidara gave an irritated look, "Why the hell does that matter?"

"I'm just curious."

"I _told_ you. Just because I'm a criminal doesn't mean I'm not human, yeah," Deidara snorted at me like I was an idiot, and averted his gaze from mine, looking around the bar. "I haven't lost my libido just yet, yeah."

I frowned, and then swished around the sake that remained in my bottle. I hazily recalled the last time we discussed this—I had accused him of touching a woman against her will, and the amount of offense that he took was… surprising. My heart clenched at the memory, and I cleared my throat.

"Hey…" I began awkwardly, feeling that my throat was incredibly dry. His eyes locked on mine.

"What?"

"Have you ever… had—Have you ever _consummated_ your feelings with a woman before?"

Deidara laughed—I loved his laugh. It made his inky blue eyes light up substantially, as well as his entire face. And when he laughed, he smiled, and Deidara must have known that he had the most _perfect_ teeth. I frowned at him, slightly abashed by my own question but not wanting to change the subject.

"Well?"

"That's kind of private, yeah," Deidara's laughter slowly subsided, but that frustratingly handsome smile remained on his face. "How about _you_, Kaori?"

I blinked, forcing myself to keep breathing normally, "Excuse me?"

Deidara didn't bother rephrasing the question—he knew he didn't have to.

Mortified and appalled by his casualty, I just shook my head "no" and took a long sip of sake.

When Deidara didn't speak afterwards, I asked, "Aren't you going to answer?"

Deidara frowned slightly, and then scoffed, "Only twice."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm no whore," I winced at the way he put it, but he didn't care. He continued; "I was just curious, yeah. I might have done it more, but blowing shit up takes a lot of time."

"Oh." _What was I expecting?_

Deidara inclined his head, "I'm actually kind of surprised about you, though, yeah."

"What?"

"You've never slept with anyone?"

I shook my head, "No."

"Why?"

"Haven't found the right person," I told him honestly.

He snorted at my response, "What the hell does that mean?"

"It's quite literal."

Deidara scoffed cynically again, contently drinking his sake.

"How was it after?"

"What?"

"Did you feel different?"

A snort, "No."

"Aren't you supposed to feel different?"

"Both times I felt nothing—because they meant nothing," Deidara stated, shrugging his shoulders.

I didn't respond.

* * *

I sat, legs folded to my chest with the television still turned on. My mind screamed for sleep, but I did not want to succumb to what my instincts wanted. The running shower water that had been rushing in the back round stopped brusquely, and I could hear shower curtains being swept aside. Ten minutes later, Deidara emerged from the steamy bathroom, wearing nothing but pajama bottoms as he dried his long blonde hair with a towel. He languidly dragged himself towards where I sat, and then sat down beside me.

My vision began to blur—_why am I so tired?_

"Go get some sleep, Kaori," I heard Deidara's voice. I was shaken awake, and I forced myself to look at him. He smirked at me, pushing my bangs back from my face and kissing me on the forehead, "No shit, you're exhausted, yeah."

I exhaled, suddenly more awake than I had been. "I'll have to leave soon, Deidara."

"That's six months away, Kaori."

"It's not that long," I insisted.

Deidara scoffed, "Don't worry about it."

"How will I know that you're alive afterwards?"

"I'll visit you."

I swallowed. "Deidara…"

"What makes you think that I won't, yeah?" Deidara snorted.

I shook my head.

"Do you trust me, Kaori?"

I gave him a strange look, and shook my head "no".

Deidara sighed, lolling his head back against the couch cushion. "Whatever. Just don't be surprised when I show up at your window."

"… But what if you never do?" I asked, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. "What if your leader doesn't die? What if the nine-tails loses?"

Deidara glowered at me, but didn't speak.

Boldly, I placed both my hands on either side of his head, fisting his hair almost tenaciously as I told him in a hiss; "Don't you _ever_ go back there. Who the hell cares if your damned leader wins or not? Don't go back. Please. Don't."

"So what the fuck am I _supposed_ to do?" Deidara demanded, grabbing my wrists as though he was going to pull them down, but I had two good handfuls of his damp hair, and he winced as he allowed my hands to remain. "Just sit here and wait for them to kill us both, yeah?"

"We'll run away," I suggested simply. "We'll go wherever."

"You have to go back to Iwagakure."

"Don't you _get_ it? I don't _want_ to go back to Iwagakure."

"Why the hell not? It's not safe for you out here, yeah!"

"I've got you, don't I? You've been telling me that all this goddamn time."

"What if I die?"

"Well, clearly without your protection I'd be dead as well."

"You're an imbecile."

"Stay with me." I was starting to beg—even worse, I was starting to _whimper_. My grip on his beautiful blonde hair weakened considerably, and I swallowed the lump in my throat despite the fact that it refused to go away. Deidara's teal eyes were fixed on me, completely void. "Stay."

It was then that Deidara frowned, "I'm not a dog, Kaori."

Aghast, I gritted my teeth, "You'll get killed."

"_You're_ underestimating my art, yeah."

I shook my head angrily, climbing on top of his lap and pushing him against the cushiony back of the couch, hands now squeezing his shoulders lividly, "What the hell is wrong with you! This isn't about your art—it's about _you_. Why don't you take life seriously? Why do you treat death as though it's no big deal?"

He growled at me, teeth bared—"Because it _isn't_ a big fucking deal. _Everyone_ dies, Kaori."

"I _get_ that, you bastard—I'm just saying _I don't want you to die_."

It came out so fast, I had no time to mask my words with anger, because what seeped through was _not_ anger. What passed through my simple words were all the bitten back, bona fide feelings I had harbored for Deidara all this time.

It could have been a revelation, but Deidara did not notice. Blinded by rage, he shoved me off of him. I plopped onto the ground heavily, grunting as I hit the floor.

I stared after him as he stormed out of the apartment.

Later on, I was still on the couch, having planned to sleep there for the night. Just as I was beginning to surrender to slumber, I felt the brisk night air filter through the window that had opened with a scrape. Then, there was a _thud_ as someone dropped onto the floor. The window closed, and steps were approaching my couch. Gently, someone laid down on top of me, and kissed my temple.

"I'm sorry," Deidara whispered, burying his nose in my hair. I cracked open my eyes—his face was bleary, but his blonde hair was unmistakable. I kissed him on his nose, and nodded sleepily.

"I forgive you," I murmured, curling up against him as I finally drifted off into sleep.

* * *

When I woke up, I noticed in dismay that I was trapped beneath a dead weight. I narrowed my eyes hazily, vision still adjusting to the blinding light. As my vision cleared, I saw blonde hair strewn across my chest, and heard soft breathing.

_Deidara… you're _heavy_._

Groaning softly, I made a fruitless attempt to sit up before finally letting in, laying flat on my back. Closing my eyes, I absently ran my fingers through Deidara's golden hair, comforted by its softness and the easiness in which my fingers glided past each strand.

After a few moments of stroking his hair, I heard a soft mumble; "That feels nice."

"What?"

Deidara remained dormant where he was, though his hand twitched slightly from where it rested on my forearm, "Don… stop."

I complied, staring up at the ceiling as I continued to brush his hair with my hands. "I won't stop. But you have to promise you're not going to die."

Deidara responded by holding up his pinky finger. I laughed quietly and twined my own pinky around his, sealing the promise.

"Aren't we a little old for that?"

"I've never broken a pinky promise, yeah."

"Whatever. Just promise me."

"I just did, retard."

I was too exhausted to retort.

"How come you're so hell-bent on keeping me alive?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I'm asking."

"Why is it odd at all?"

"When I die, that means you're safe, yeah."

"My safety is the least of my concern."

"You're foolish then, yeah," he snorted.

"I care about you," I finally admitted, exhaling heavily as I did so. "I want to make sure you're alright."

"I've been taking care of myself long before I met you."

Deidara suddenly moved. I flinched, eyes closing. I felt hair across my cheek, and I slowly opened my eyes. Deidara loomed above me, his blonde hair concealing both our faces like a curtain. I closed my eyes as he lowered himself to me, mumbling another apology against my lips.

"I'm sorry that I pushed you yesterday," Deidara muttered grudgingly. I pulled him down urging him to shut up. I felt his chuckle rumble against my chest, "I don't want you to leave either, yeah."

I begged my mind to stop me from crying as I pulled him down into a hug, pressing my nose into the crook of his neck as I held him as tightly as I could. Deidara didn't move, allowing me to hug him, though he did grunt uncomfortably after a few moments.

"Sorry," I uttered.

"Hm," Deidara hummed in reply, pecking me on the lips before lifting himself off of me. He ambled into the kitchen. I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair out of distress.

I would worry _all the damn time_. I would probably pop a blood vessel, and then die from a stroke. I would have to pop subscribed blood pressure pills every five minutes. And mostly, I'd miss him more than I missed my mother—and I missed her _a lot_. I would miss his temper, his snarky remarks, his paradoxically handsome yet beautiful features, his _hair_. All of it would be greatly missed, and I would have no way of finding him, or even knowing that he was alive. Not unless he did visit me, but what if he never did? How would I ever know if I were simply being lead on that entire time, or if he had died, or if he had forgotten about me?

I closed my eyes, rolling over to face the back of the couch and curl into a ball. I feigned somnolence as best as I could, ignoring the weather forecaster that chatted incessantly in the back round as Deidara turned on the television with a click, and sat down next to me.

A hand rested on my leg, patting it consolingly. "You need the sleep, yeah."

* * *

End Chapter Eighteen!

* * *

Notes: Please excuse the shortness. (:

It was difficult updating this, I have to admit, but I feel that it was worth it. I missed writing about them dearly—especially Deidara. This story is nearly complete (I'm still in shock), and I just want to say thank you so much for those who have taken the time to leave reviews and urge me to update. You are the ones that give me the confidence to write OC stories at all! –much love-

Reviews?


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